I snoozed one (or two, or three) too many times, and set my morning off in a terrible whirlwind direction.It could have been a better day. I could have behaved better. I could have eaten better. I could have loved better. I could have been better.
I skipped packing my lunch, and bought Pita Pit instead.
I bailed on taking an evening walk with Piper, in favor of an only slightly necessary trip to Target.
I got Chick-fil-a on the way home, inclusive of my second Coke Zero of the day.
I ignored the (literal) pile of chores that are all but screaming for my attention.
I procrastinated writing any of the numerous journals and blogs that I have floating around my head, but spent the evening tooling around on other sites.
I let myself get sucked into the trap of self-indulgence, and rather than feeling decadently spoiled, I feel slothfully sick. I believed the "too much of a good thing is great" lie, and allowed myself to humor one too many inner "you deserve it" monologues.
I'd like to start today over. I would get up on time. Actually get a shower. Spend some time playing with my daughter instead of confining her to a baby seat while I scramble to get bottles washed for daycare. I would pack a healthy lunch, drink water, and eat a dinner that doesn't include french fries. I would sit less, and move more. "Surf" less, and do more. I would approach my evening with purpose, prioritizing projects that make me feel organized, proud, productive, relaxed, creative and energized. I would focus on things that pour into my life, rather than wasting my time on things that suck my spirit dry.
I would remember that all the little cheats I allow into my day, actually just end up making me feel cheated. And I would remember that what I allow into my own life, dictates how I'm able to pour into the lives of those around me.
But since turning back the clock isn't an option, I will make the best of the choices that remain. I will wash the sink full of dishes. I will take my vitamin. I will go to bed. I will thank God for the infinite blessings in my life, and I will ask Him to guide my focus, knowing that each seemingly frivolous choice I make, adds up to a greater (or sometimes lesser) whole.
And tomorrow will be a better day.