I wrote a big long winded list of two month details regarding our little lady, but I'll save that one for the baby book and spare you the eat/sleep/poop recap. What I want you to know about our two months with Miss Finley is that it's been the best of times, it's been the worst of times.
She has brought us such indescribable joy, but she has also worn us down to our bare selves, and that is not the prettiest of sights, to put it mildly.
God is using this one. Her needs have ripped off the tidy covers I keep on my heart, and exposed the raw ugliness that lies within. My selfishness, pride, laziness, bitterness, anger- it's all surfacing, and I've become painfully aware that I can't parent this one...these two...without Christ to cover my weaknesses.
She is a delightful baby. She's squishable, she's smiley, she's irresistible. It's not her fault. If she was a slightly "easier" baby, I might be able to push a little further on my own strength, but something tells me that I'd still fall short. And for that I should be thankful, because she's teaching me that I will always fall short, and reminding me that I have a God who will meet me, wherever I land.
I pray that she inherits any ounce of goodness that is within either one of Dustin or me, but also that she may quickly realize that there is no true Good apart from Him. It's taking me a long time to realize that, and as tired and broken as I am, I'm also thankful for the opportunity to be better. To be bettered.
(Side note: If you're wondering...she still looks nothing like Piper...)
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(Side note: If you're wondering...she still looks nothing like Piper...)
You're getting closer and closer to the five month hurdle! Once I reached five months everything started to work a little better. :) Isn't it crazy? Like how did we do this whole no sleep for 23 hours a day thing?
ReplyDeleteThis resonates. I keep reminding myself that my needy, lovable, intense guy is here to teach me, not to break me. Learning each day. Great job, Momma.
ReplyDeleteLove you. Because I love you I'm glad that God is working on your heart...but wish I could make that only involve things that make us overhead fist pump and high five. Learning is good stuff, but also hard stuff :) I do think it says in the Bible... grace + lack of sleep = sanctification So hooray! You are winning!
ReplyDeleteAlso, seems to me these pictures are missing something very important...hipster glasses.