Monday, May 25, 2009

How to start a car without using the key

By Dustin and Courtney Bowden
  1. Change into "real" shoes. Flip flops are not going to get the job done.
  2. Put Courtney in the driver's seat with minimal instructions.
  3. Attempt to push the car out of the driveway. Get nowhere. Repeat 4 or more times.
  4. Determine Courtney's foot was on the brake. Try again.
  5. Yell loud enough so the neighbors can no longer ignore you and are forced to offer to help.
  6. Once the car starts, have a yelling exchange that consists of "start turning", "I am", Put it in third", "I am!", "keep the clutch in" "I AM!!"
  7. As you begin to roll down the hill into oncoming traffic, start screaming, and generally panicking.
  8. Pop the clutch. Notice that it does not start.
  9. Continue the yelling banter- Give it gas/I am!/No, more/I am!/No, MORE!/I AM!!. Notice that it still does not start
  10. Resign yourself to certain intersection t-bone death and close your eyes. (If you're in the driver's seat, you should still be screaming....If you were the "pusher" you should be running down the hill to survey the inevitable wreckage).
  11. Have the car start just as you come to the stop sign at the bottom of the hill.
  12. Pull a u-turn and return proudly, waving to onlookers with a "What's the big deal? I was TOTALLY in control" face.
  13. Drive 40 minutes to the car dealership for a repair.
  14. Park in the wrong spot.
  15. Marvel at how the ignition works, not once but twice, in the dealer's lot.
  16. Eat a double cheeseburger, because you deserve it.


  1. I assume this is Dustin's new baby?
    Is the Xterra turning into a terror? I hope not! :-)

  2. you deserved that cheeseburger! wow - i would have no idea and would have definitely been in the driver's seat screaming. too funny!

  3. wow. i can totally see/hear this happening. nice play by play.