Imagine a Creative Dance Title Here!

Hey Sisters (and honorary sisters…and brothers?)! I’m happy to have you all visiting this week, but I have to warn you: I got home tonight around 11:30 from a YL girl night to see “My Sister’s Keeper”. Great movie, but all the weeping combined with the late hour has wiped out any trace of wit I may have previously had. But dance waits for no man- 7 couples remain- it’s time!

Intro, recap, theme song….Cat comes out in a fun pink dress- with pockets!! Love.

Guest judge tonight is Mia Michaels! I’m torn here, because I love her as a judge, but I’m pretty sure this means we won’t see any of her choreography tonight. Kind of a double-edged sword (later she’ll use the same phrase to describe “prop dances”. We are kindred spirits.)

Before we get going, Cat lures us in with a promis of a special announcement later- $5 dance bucks says it’s about season six. Time will tell.

For each of the couples, they recap the last three weeks. For real- are people just now tuning in? Bor-ing. I miss the weird, forced, slightly disturbing “secrets” they usually tell. Without these segments, we’re going to have a hard time hitting our creepiness quotient for the week. More importantly though- they don’t show the couple picking a “random” dance out of the hat anymore (come to think of it, not sure they’ve done that at all this season…). Something smells fishy here- I’m starting to think this competition is a little bit more shall we say “organized” than we may have thought. Keep an eye out tonight….

And we’re off:

Jeanette & Brandon

Dance: Cha Cha Cha

Choreographers: Jean Marc and France Genereux

Song: Hush Hush; Hush Hush The Pussycat Dolls

Need something spicy and sassy. Their practice is a mess but I feel like Jeanette is going to rock this- she’s a Cuban from Miami….this is right in her sexy wheelhouse. The dance is indeed fun and sassy, but I have to ask- does Brandon ever wear sleeves? Maybe he rips them off every time he invites someone to the gun show? Nigel proclaims it the best cha cha he has ever seen on this show. Evah. EV-AH. And then it’s Mary’s turn- Oh no…the train is coming….they get first class tickets to the Hot Tamale Train! Yes they do! WhooHoo!!!! (She has somehow combined all of her craziness into one comment. Bravo!)

Kayla & Kupono

Dance: Contemporary

Choreographer: Sonya Tayeh

Song: Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation

Dance’s theme is Kupono trying to pull Kayla towards death- perhaps foreshadowing of him sucking her into the bottom three? Just a thought. Love watching Kayla dance-She totally got the quirkiness of the choreography, but still was so elegant. Nigel solidified his place in my heart, when he mocked Mary during her critique- “Yes they are! Yes they ARE!” They stay on the Hot Tamale train- it’s getting crowded- and sweaty. Mia loves the costuming and makeup. Should we trust a person who wears a Renaissance ruffle collar with a feather brooch? I say YES. And side note: Does anyone else think Mia and Sonya might make out a little bit after the show? Just wondering….

Randi & Evan

Dance: Broadway

Choreographer: Joey Dowling

Song: Rich Man's Frug from Sweet Charity

Second “coincidental” choreography choice of the night. Evan gets Broadway. That’s like challenging a dog to bark. They are one of my favorite couples- Randi’s like a little unitard clad cabbage patch doll. How tall is Joey though? She makes the dancers look like Oompa loompas. (the answer, apparently, is 6ft. Is Mia perhaps cheating on Sonya with this tall drink of water?) The song sounds like something out of Austin Powers and the dance is apparently meant as an homage to Bob Fosse, strange combination- but it worked overall. Mary mentions that each week the couples get 5 1/2 hours to learn the dance….impressive.

Caitlin & Jason

Dance: Pop Jazz

Choreographer: Brian Friedman

Song: Creator by Santigold

Concept here is a female alien that blew up earth- then comes to procreate with the last man on earth. Brian says Caitlin is going to impregnate Jason…I’m a little scared. Costumes are totally bizarre, Nigel reads my mind when he says “dancing condom” (though I believe it might also be described as a mash up of Godzilla, the tin man and a bike tire.) Very strange.

Jeanine & Phillip

Dance: Hip Hop

Choreographers: Tabither (as Cat would say) and Napoleon, or as Nigel says-NappyTab?? Or as Mia refers to them: Nap and Tabs.

Song: Love Lockdown, by Kanye West (note: I went through a phase where I listened to this song everyday…that plus NapTab guarantees I will love this no matter what)

Conspiracy theory continues here….our only hip hop dancer randomly gets his own style twice? Things that make you go hmmmmm. They’re dancing with a chain, which makes Nap nervous- and he’s not alone. I was pretty sure someone was going to break an ankle. (and I was even more sure Jeanine was going to break out of her top…) Truthfully though, Jeanine may not always be the best dancer- but I think she’s one of the best performers in the bunch (and not just because of her cleavage).

Melissa & Ade

Dance: pas de duex

Choreographer: Thordal Christensen

Song: Prokofiev’s Suite, from Romeo and Juliet

For real- this show is rigged. The ballet dancer gets a pas de duex…from Romeo and Juliet? I mean really. Why don’t you just give her The Nutcracker Suite? Come on. Nothing really to say here. I’m sure it was great, but it’s not really my thing. We’ll wait for Renee to weigh in. Nigel gives yet another pat on the back for the (his) show (as he does pretty much every week)- but he’s right about the range of dancing they show- there’s something for everyone!

Ok, one final couple- wait, no! It’s Announcement Time:

Carrie Ann Inaba, Nigel Lythgoe, Adam Shankman and Katie Holmes (yes, you read that correctly) have started a foundation called the Dizzy Feet Foundation. The goal is to expose underprivileged kids to the world of dance, and to search for and build new talent by giving kids scholarships. But wait- there’s more- Surprise Time!! Katie Homes will be performing on the show July 23rd (the 100th episode- who knew?!) Very interesting….(and for those of you who bet me earlier- congrats, I owe you 5 dance bucks. Redeemable for...very long recaps?)

Alright, we’ve made it- the final number:

Carla & Vitolio

Dance: Quick Step

Choreographers: Jean marc and France Genereux

Song: Puttin’ on the Ritz, by Rufus Wainwright

In a move that surprises no one, they’ve give the only new couple (made up of the two least popular dancers) what could arguably be called the hardest dance style on the show. Dance starts off cute- and then-Holy crap she just changed her dress on stage!! Reminds me of the quick change artists from America’s Got Talent. That’s pretty much the highlight here.

So there you have it. Another masterfully designed edition of the competition.

My prediction for the bottom three is tough this week, because no one really had a terrible time- but here goes:

• Caitlin and Jason- their dance may have been just a bit too odd. Oh, and Jason is really boring. So there.
• Carla and Vitolio- they’ve had a rough run, both have been in the bottom three multiple times. Their dance was good, but maybe not good enough to win them new fans.
• Melissa and Ade- not because it wasn’t great…just because it might have been a little bit slow for the main demographic of SYTYCD (alright…me.)

Your thoughts? And question: after all this discussion- do any of you actually vote? I just can’t get motivated to pick up the phone for these people. I keep waiting to catch the fever…..but nope. But stop back tomorrow. I’m taking the recap show on the road to my mom’s house (holla Cbus!) so we might have some fresh insight to share.

Now dish!