Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Can't spell "Finale" without K-O-D-A-K!

It's FINALE TIME!!!!! (I will apologize in advance, for there will be a lot of capitals for emPHAsis. And parentheticals. It's what I do.)

Tonight's show is from the Kodak Theater in Hollywood (same location as the American Idol finale for those of you into reality trivia.) with 3,000 people in the audience. (finale drinking game starts now....every time they mention the theater. You won't make it through the first five minutes, let alone two hours) Impressive crowd but someone please tell me what you can see from the third balcony up? Is that deely thing an actual cat? And where's that screechy train noise coming from?!?

Top four dancers are....(just in case you missed it...) Jeanine, Evan, Kayla, Brandon
And the judgiz (Yay- she actually said it!) are: Adam Shankman, Mary and Nigel.

Top four perform:
Choreographers- Wade and Amanda Robson (Yessssss!!)
Concept is football jocks and cheerleaders. I'm gonna go out on a limb and predict this won't be Evan's strongest showing. Can he make his trademark "I'm sorry I'm just so gosh-darn adorable" shrug face while throwing a football? Doubtful.
Song is Boys boys boys by Lady Gaga (who has to be a millionaire based on the royalties from this series alone!) I can't hate on Wade, but I'm just not sure this was up to the level I was expecting for the finale. Toni Basil would be proud though.

*Commercial break*
Preview of season 6- (but first: did you know we're at the Kodak theater? Crazy!!) New season looks awesome, because of course it does.

Jeanine and Evan
Choreographer: Sonya Tayek (Yes!!)
Song: Heartbreakers by MSTRKRFT ft John Legend
I actually forgot to look at Evan for the first minute or two. Mostly because I was trying to figure out which one of my mid-90's barbies was going naked in order to provide Jeanine's outfit. Adam is ambitious with the comments right out of the gate, making a long comment arc about a "bunch of nevers" and a confusing "molehill that became the mountain" reference. Not sure he's all there sometimes. Mary mentions the stage is enormous...really? I hadn't noticed! And Nigel gives Evan a small pep talk. I think it will be very clear very soon that Evan is in over his head at this point. But aw shucks, I like him anyway.

*Commercial break*
Kodak Theater you Hollywood! I know right?

Tonight, all of the contestants will sit down for an interview with Cat. Hopefully they can keep it together, because if she interviewed me it would probably go something like:
Cat: Are you excited to--
Courtney: OMG I love you Love you LOVE YOU!!! Can I touch your hair? Did I mention I love you? Can we be best friends? Can I try on your shoes? Say "Judgiz"!giggle...OMG *swoon**faint*

Interview: Is he in a pageant? He's just so happy and grateful and he's grown so much etc. etc. etc. Also- he wants maps for children, such as the Iraq.
Song: Dies Irae by Karl Jenkins
We get it. You're artsy and hardcore. No need for all the fierce opera. (but for real he's probably the best dancer here. Only not probably. But he probably won't get my vote. Only still not probably). Judges criticize his board shorts, but I'm just glad he showed up in clothes this time. Mary cries, and Nigel makes some surfing metaphor (is there any end to his hip-ness?! Or mine for saying "hip"?)

*Commercial break*
Welcome back. To THE KODAK!!

Kayla and Brandon
Choreographer: Tyce Diorio (Yes!)
Song: Bye Bye Life from All that Jazz
Took it to a more "showy place". With Tyce, that's saying something. Dance is like Season 3's Boardroom piece meets Chicago, with a strangely peppy Sesame Street song spin. (not sure why, but I can totally picture the Muppet band rocking out to this. Just me?) It's a pretty great dance, and I'll forgive unsynchronized turns after about the 18th rotation. All I have to say is "bye bye love"?? More like hello hello to the FINALE!!! Oh wait...we're already there. Crap. Adam is "stoked" (furthering my suspicions he might be hiding a doobie under that desk).
Nigel references his heart attack?? Between that and comments about his ex-wife, I think I've had enough of his "relating through personal tragedy" style of judging.

*Commercial break*
Wait...where are we? I'm confused...she's not telling me! But look at all the PEOPLE! There must be thousands!

In the interview Jeanine asks the question and gets sassed. You tell her Cat! (Cat also says "what the folk?"and "Smooch-a-rama-roonie". Did you know I love her?)
We see some requisite dance class photo of Jeanine, and we also get to see her mom, which puts any questions about the origins of her horse-teeth-frowny-smile to rest.

Song: Por Una Cabeza The Tango Project
Alright, who sneaked into Jeanine's dressing room and chomped the sides off of all her costumes? Well, it is shark week I guess. Adam says "Man" and "dude" enough that I'm starting to seriously question his sobriety.

*Commercial break*
Hype up the tour (top 10...which actually means top 12!) No mention of the theatre. C'mon Cat- now's no time to quit!

Evan and Brandon
Pop Jazz routine by choreographer Laurieann Gibson (what's with the gigantic headphones? Is she a dj? Are her ears cold? Has anyone seen her baseball?!?)
Song: Nasty by Janet Jackson
The boys are in a battle to win. Whatever was her inspiration (I mean, besides the Michael Jackson Bad video)? I like that they put Evan in a white tank, and Brandon in a black one...just to make it clear. Kept hoping there might be an actual knife fight. They traded pirouettes instead. It was a little too Zoolander walk off for know Brandon wanted to magically take off his underwear at the end. Adam says couldn't get rid of Evan's natural sweetness (and continues the subtle racism saying something about how Brandon is always dirty and nasty) and then Mary gets in Evan's BIZ-ness, asking what's the nastiest thing he's ever done (The grandparents in the audience could use Laurieann's headgear at this point). Then Cat gets pleasure from Evan's face. Yikes! Creepiness aside, the unanimous opinion is that Brandon just out danced Evan.

*Commercial break*
We're back. And they've really dropped the ball on the theatre shout outs. Good thing they're plugging season six or we'd have nothing to latch on to....except the DANCING.

Kayla and Jeanine
Contemporary with Mia Michaels
Song: The Four Sections IV: The Full Orchestra by Steve Reich
Dance travels across the stage, signifying the journey they've been on. They literally and metaphorically shed layers along the way. I'm glad they told me they were going to take of some layers because for a minute I thought Kayla pooped tulle. How embarrassing. Then there was a total Cosby show moment when the music picked up in the middle and they pranced with their skirts flying- was dying for Rudy to come out with her bangles. The dance was absolutely gorgeous though- by far my favorite of the night. Though the camera work did seem a little biased towards Jeanine. This show is on Fox after all...not exactly "fair and balanced"...

*Commercial break*
Finally, she reminds me where we are. I'd be lost without you Cat.

He predictably gets a little weepy over his journey and his brother. But then he informs us he will be both "dropping the hammer" and "bringing the thunder" in his solo....
Song: The best is yet to come by Micheal Buble.
Based on his dancing, maybe he meant ball peen hammer? Or silent thunder? Wait...that's not a thing. Nigel keeps it real. Do we want to go Easter egg hunting and put this precious baby chick in our basket? Yes. But do we want to vote for him to win a dance competition? Personally, no.

*Commercial break*
Kodak Schmodak.

Evan and Kayla

Jive by choreographers Tony Meredith and Melanie Lapatin (apparently "The Quickest Jive Ever." Do they not say this every time we do a jive or a disco? I'm starting to think they might be exaggerating a little. Or that "fast" is what you say when you have nothing nice to say about a routine.)
Song: T.R.O.U.B.L.E. Travis Tritt
Kayla did a million and a half flips and turns. But her neck looked stiff and it turns out she's bad at humping. I can honestly say I didn't see that coming. And-she actually looked a bit chubby in her outfit, which I didn't realize was even possible. Adam says it didn't reach out to him, and I agree. Mary thinks they danced it safe and in their own worlds, and basically articulates my thoughts better than I ever could. Sad.

*Commercial break*
Kodak Theater in Hollywood! CHEER won't you?!

Interview: Dancing since she was two...Proud grandparents...Great reviews...She's not just a dancer-She's a performer. Blah blah. For white lightening, she's not exactly electrifying.
Song: Sweet Dreams (are Made of This) by The Eurythmics.
Before tonight I would have said that Kayla could be a lock, but she really fell off the radar for me. Seemed like she peaked a while ago, and now she couldn't exactly go up from there. (Nigel pretty much says this- she's just fantastic day in day out. Perfection gets tedious.) But there isn't any denying that she is truly an incredible dancer.

*Commercial break*
Starts with a K and rhymes with Wodak......

Jeanine and Brandon
Paso Doble by Choreographer Louis van Amstel
Song: Tetsujin from The Matrix Revolution Soundtrack
Could this possibly compete with the Paso Doble that Evan and that adorable round elf girl did earlier this season? Ummm, yes. And then some. I could have used some doves and some slow motion bullets though. I mean, it is the finale. Adam says "you totally shredded" which solidifies his role as the gay Broadway stoner. Mary finally screams. YES SHE DOES. 3,000 people have been waiting all night for that. Then Nigel gets even creepier than before (wasn't sure it was possible...) which I won't rehash. (Not hash, Adam.)

And that's IT!
Judge's Predictions:
Adam- Predicts all of them. And none of them. Cat insults his manhood.
Mary- Is just glad it's out of her hands.
Nigel- Chooses Brandon or Jeanine.

Way to live up to your name JUDGES! My forecast: Jeanine. It's a girl's year. chalk it up.
So what do you guys think? Love it? Left wanting more? Have a favorite? Let's hear it.

And don't forget to join us tomorrow for the finale LIVE from the....Oh nevermind. You already know.


  1. LOVE your recap Courtney - so much hilarious goodness in it!

    The biggest disappointment of the night for Fox station not showing the Mia routine...except for the last 10 seconds. I am still very annoyed! I'll be looking for it online tomorrow!

    Evan definitely got outdanced tonight, but I wonder if the beating he took from the judges will backfire on them and he'll get sympathy votes. I hate to see someone win that way, but oh well.

    I really only liked Jeanine's solo, the others were just a bit more of the same. Brandon's, again, was a bit to frenetic for me - I'd much rather seem him do less than try and show me every single cool move he can do.

    My choice for the top 2 would be Jeanine and Kayla, but I doubt we'll get a top of girls - I think it would be cool though. I think Jeanine brings it in terms of performance, personality, uniqueness, and overall I guess I'll pick her for the win! But I honestly don't care too much...I just like watching them dance!

    Courtney, good job writing this despite being drunk on the Kodak Theatre.

  2. Courtney.... you are HILARIOUS!!! cue a mary scream for your finale part 1 recap "AHHHHH!" so funny. seriously. like, i don't know whether to talk about the show or how funny you are.

    ohhhhkay, i'll talk about the show.

    but you are seriously funny. i loved how you would act in a Cat interview. hahahaaa! i would be doing the same thing with you! i was in love with her dress tonight.

    okay, so i'm thinking jeanine will take all. i was REALLY struggling betweeen brandon or jeanine, but i just think with how jeanine grew and grew as a dancer, showed so much passion onstage, knocked everything she ever did out of the park, KILLED her solo - seriously, her pirouttes that adam was talking about - so true. amazing to have done that many and then slowed them down all staying on her toe (releve'). she has an amazing center of control, it's crazy.
    i really love kayla as well, but i was not a fan at all of her solo tonight - just felt like it was the same old same old, and she looked very awkward in the jive to me. maybe it was the boots she wore, cause i'm sure it's hard to dance in boots, but for me jeanine just has this leg up on her even though kayla really IS amazing - can't deny that and i've loved her from the beginning.

    brandon - hello!? yeah, amazing. almost nothing else to say! love him, he can do no wrong, and he'll get a ton of offers from this show no matter what happens....he's just spectacular. hard to watch him when he talks though... (but that's not really a reason to keep me from saying he's great).

    OH! i was so mad... fox somehow got delayed over here and we only caught the very end of kayla and jeanine's contemporary piece by mia!!! we were watching it live, so not sure what happened, but i'll have to watch it online. i'm sure it was unbelievable.

    loved the broadway routine that kayla and brandon did and also loved jeanine and brandon's matrix piece.

    last bit - nigel needs to COOL IT with the yucky comments he says about the girls (on the sly)... jon said, "i'm writing a complaint letter." just not good and it really is getting old with his oogling over the girls.

    can't wait till tomorrow to be back at the ... what is that theater called again court?


  3. Oh, how I love thee, Courtney. I must say, though, I'm questioning your sobriety. Too funny, you are!

    Kodak Theater

    Did you all notice the entire crowd of at least a few hundred chanting Evan's name? Loved it! He is such an underdog, he might just win!

    Kodak Theater

    Could not STAND Mia's piece with the girls and the layers and the one direction...I think I pooped tulle.

    Kodak Theater

    I did not love Laurieann's piece with the guys either. It didn't seem strong enough or something. And what is up with her headphones attached to nothing? Maybe she was contractually obligated to look foolish after P Diddy fired her from his show.

    Kodak Theater

    Should we not all be questioning Adam's manhood? Good call Cat! (I love you!)

    Kodak Theater

    I am continually impressed with the dancer's ability to remember all these dances!!!! They are all amazing! I think in the end, Jeanine might pull out a win (or at least a boob)!

    Kodak Theater

  4. You guys are sweet. glad you liked my nonsense. Rachel- your comment made me crack up, but how did you NOT like Mia's routine?'s like I don't even know you! (Philly girls- you'll need to catch up online. Worth it!)
    Renee- way to bring the technical knowledge. You may have noticed that's not my strong suit.

    And I totally wouldn't be surprised if Evan won the pity vote. After all,it is America's Favorite Dancer, not America's Best Dancer.

  5. so i've been super quiet on the SYTYCD front because sadly i'm usually a week behind - and only bc i sneak into my friend's house when she's not there to watch her DVR. but last night i actually watched the whole two hours and my husband didn't complain once.

    and i'm glad i did, bc i wouldn't a) be the same w/o my weekly Cat-crush, b) or be in the know about how great the KODAK theatre is, or c) been able to appreciate the hilarity that is Courtney. Seriously, can I meet you? I'm a friend of Megan's so she can totally vouch for me.

    anyways.... onto the show.

    first let me say that this is my first season watching which is evident bc i'm not good w/ names and didn't realize how impt it would be to be on top of such things. until last week, the final contestants were known as Guy with the Thick Neck, Girl with the Thick Neck, Dude with the Puppy-Dog Eyes, and Super-Blonde Girl.

    my favorite up to this point has been Kayla, hands-down. i think she's one of the most talented and is consistently the best in every couple dance this season. outshines everyone.

    until last night. Jeanine brought the fire. if America votes on skill/dance alone, then I think it's between the girls.

    Even, yes he's a little Polly-pocket, but i'll be a little annoyed if he wins. not because I don't like him (seriously, he's one of my favorites) but bc i just didn't see him as top-4 quality. again I feel awful saying that, especially since the judges took every opportunity last night to say it themselves. (i thought those puppy-dog eyes might cry.) i guess i'm a traditionalist and am all about the dancing.

    Brandon... well, Brandon just bothers me. yes, that guy can move, but i don't dig him. maybe it's the speedos, maybe the offensive name Jim has given him that i can't type on the WWW, or it might just be the talking thing. either way i can't deny that the guy is talented, but i don't think he's the most talented.

    as for dances, i am still thinking about Jeanine's solo. i thought it was perfect. and that releve'! (thanks, Renee.) i usually could care less about solos, but she nailed it. (thanks, Ellen.) i thought Evan's was great, too, but was totally called out about it being his audition piece. if he was trying to prove he'd grown during the season - oops.

    the Matrix piece left me wanting more, but only bc the promo made it sound like we'd see alot more lifts. which is too bad bc they really did a great job.

    the girls' tutu piece was lame, i thought. i'm know i'm mostly alone in this. sorry, Mia.

    in fact, i didn't love most of the dance routines, but one thing that is great about this show is how they take traditional styles and surprise you in their modern context. Janet and Jazz? Paso Doble and Matrix? Jive and Country (oh... ok). but seriously, i've loved learning the versatility of dance. it's been an education for me.

    so there's my two cents. take it or leave it. looking forward to tonight, but wondering how they'll fill 2 hours.

    actually i've been praying that i'd go into labor (almost a week overdue) on a Wed or Thurs so i could pass some of the time w/ 2 hours of SYTYCD. i probably wouldn't even notice the contractions.

  6. chiming in before we hear the results... couldn't leave the sisterhood hanging....

    Courtney- you are HI.LAR.I.OUS. seriously. I want to hang out with you and watch tv and eat yummy food in your cool house.
    that said, your recap made me LOL. soooo funny!

    janine is my pick. b/c, have I mentioned this yet, I LOVE HER, even with her dinosaur chomped out outfits. (sooo funny!)

  7. p.s. so agreeing with the overboard in your face Nigel comments. stop bringing up your ex, puh-lease and now you're bringing your health issues in... geesh.

    loved the Matrixy tango. very cool.


    i liked the country Travis whatever his name is routine. I liked the boots and the sparkly blue costume on white lightening. just sayin'

  8. also, i liked the Mia routine.

    and I'm sooooooooooooo sad to have my weekly Cat-crush ending with the finale tonight.