Thursday, June 28, 2012

{31 Things} Day 7: Work

“Worky work, busy bee!!”

Dustin and I constantly repeat that saying- a silly little quote from an old commercial- to each other. Sometimes when we are actually so very busy, but also when we just want to give each other a hard time about being too abrupt, or obsessed with piddly work details.

But the truth is, since I went back to work in February, I have indeed been a busy busy bee. I have always kept up a hectic (if not breakneck) pace at work, and one of my main fears with returning to the grind was that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done. Or more specifically, that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done within a reasonable number of work hours. And it turns out I was somewhat right to be worried. There is definitely an eb-and-flow to the workload at my office, but as of late it seems to be stuck on flow. A “no filter, wide mouth, drown everything in its path” FLOW. It’s not exactly anything new, but previously I was a bit more willing to make the sacrifice to arrive early, stay late, and generally run myself ragged one to two weeks out of every month. But now that there is a little lady in my life, I’m much more hesitant to squander all her waking hours at the office. After a full week of leaving Dustin to the drop off and pick up duty at daycare, including a few days where I only saw her to feed her in the wee hours of the night, the guilt was beginning to pile up. (I stacked it right on top of the rest of the pile currently crushing my spirit- a mountain of unfinished projects, and neglected messes).

But for all the negatives that come with my job, there are a whole lot of positives as well. Being a working mom is a choice for me at this point (sure, we’d miss my salary if I stayed home, but I’m not exactly forced into keeping my career), and it’s a choice I truly don’t regret. My brain is a quirky little monster that requires a constant stream of inspiration and projects to survive. I’m a thinker, a talker, and a do-er, and my mind craves creative stimulation the way my body craves Coke Slushies. (Read: frequently and desperately.) I adored the time I was able to spend with Piper, but I haven’t doubted for a moment that going back to work was the right decision for me. My passion for what I do is a double edged sword if I allow my drive to overshadow other areas of my life, but for the most part I’m lucky to have a creative outlet that constantly teaches me and forces me to grow.  Even in my dark times of being overwhelmed, I’ve never lost sight of the fact that I’m living the dream- my industrial-designing, problem-solving, fashion-producing, budget-balancing, art-creating dream. I have a very cool job, at a very cool company, with some very cool people. And bonus: they pay me. We should all be so lucky.

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