Monday, December 10, 2012

How do you do it?

I’m a very literal person. If I ask how you how to do something, there is a great chance that you’ll answer, only to have me immediately ask- “No but do you do that?” I need details.  I need you to walk me through it. I want to know everything. It’s not that I’m slow on the uptake (I hope) it’s that I tend to think people gloss over things. Especially when it comes to the big-life-type-stuff. I don’t mean “how did you make those brownies?” type questions (though if you try to gloss over it I’ll probably demand a recipe). I mean the big “How do you do life, well?” type of questions. I’m still new to the mom-game, and not even that experienced at the married-thing, or even the adult-act, so I’m always looking for guidance on how to do this whole living thing successfully. I’m a big question asker, and love to hear how other women make things work...But I hate when my curiosity is met with vague or unhelpful answers.

“How do you manage a boatload of kids?” “Oh, you know, lots of coffee! Ha ha ha!”
“How are you able to work full time and still have room for your hobbies?” “Oh, just make time I guess. Lalala...”
“How do you juggle all the little tasks like cooking, cleaning, returning library books, and still have time to sleep?” “Oh, I do a little at a time, just try to keep up with it. Doo dee doo!”

If I’m honest, I know I’ve given similar answers myself. When I do it, it’s because I know I totally don’t have anything figured out, so rather than saying, “Oh...I have no idea. We muddle through, and honestly, any type of balance, productivity, or rest is sort of a blind miracle, and sometimes I cry at the crushing weight of all our wants/need/musts/can’ts....So, uh yeah. That.” I just sort of wave my hand and mumble a “You just...right?” type self-effacing non-response to take the focus off me and move along before they expect some sort of practical advice and wisdom.

But I think we owe each other more than that. We’re each on our own trying to figure these life-things out...but we could be in it together, helping each other along the way, or at least being honest and saying: “I have no idea. But it’s not nearly as easy as it might look.” when people ask about our successes.

So I’m going to start trying to do that. Or keep trying to do that. Being open, authentic, and vulnerable. Showing you what things magically go right in my life (so you can hopefully catch some of that wind-at-your-back luck too), exposing the giant messes that I often find myself in (and sometimes can’t find my way out of), and being honest about the things that I really, really work at, to show people in similar situations that it doesn’t always just happen. Some things require dedication and effort, and I can at least offer an example of what that looks like in my life.

So where to start? I suppose I could take questions...But that assumes you are all in awe of my day-to-day existence, and are clamouring to know “just how she does it”. I suspect that is not the case. (And I’m actually grateful it isn’t. What pressure!) So instead, I’ll just keep pouring my heart out here, and sharing what I know when I know it... But in the name of practicality and lists (LISTS! I love LISTS! It would be at the top of my list of tips!)- I think I’ll start with a “Day in the Life” post.

I love love love when people share the routine of their day. I love learning about the little nuances of their schedules that they might for granted, but others may have no clue about. I love revealing “I knew it!!....there’s no way she gets that much done without getting up at 4am” kind of truths. And when I first had Piper I was starving- dying- for a literal roadmap to the what and how and when of it all. So maybe seeing how we wander, plan, stumble and sweat our way through a typical (say what?) day will be helpful for you. (And if not, at least it will be a record for me later, to help answer... “ did we do that?!”).

But I’m about worded-out at this point, so I’ll have details up tomorrow. 


  1. I love it!!! Can't wait to read more! I, too, am a literal person. I think I've asked you a time or two, "But what do you DO with Piper when you need to shower?" This has always eluded me...

  2. Oh Rachel...I definitely don't miss the days when I was home on my own. Well maybe a little....but I wonder how stay at home moms get anything done- including showering!