Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Show Your Real: Julie

I officially met Julie at the Influence conference last year...I technically sort-of knew her through the friend of a friend, but that didn't matter. Julie's one of those people who will embrace you like she knows you from the minute you meet her, no matter what. And when I say "embrace"...I mean it. She'll wrap you up in a big "aren't we friends already?" kind of hug, and then continue to love you with her big open heart. 

Julie is a mama to an adorable little boy Levi, runs a lovely online shop of her handmade beauties, and shares shares her life in a beautifully real way on her blog One Simple Red Stitch. She inspires me constantly just by authentically being who she is- a dance party hosting, arms-out worshiping, self-reflective writing, delight of a woman. Oh, and I'm super jealous of her shampoo commercial worthy hair. I'm thrilled to have you all see a little bit of her today.
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hi friends... i'm julie & i blog at a little place on the interwebs:: one simple red stitch {formerly: green eggs & hammes...}

when courtney started this series on showing your real, i was thrilled. it can be so easy for us to look out over the internet & the blog land and imagine all of these bright colored homes, chippy wood furniture pieces, madewell dressed women & hipster dressed babies to be the only part of the lives of the people we read. that their shops are all super successful, they love Jesus, and that they have found that perfect balance in life. at least on most days. instagram (mine included, i won't lie) is plastered with early-morning scriptures and a nice anthro mug of hot coffee right alongside it. it's pretty. but i'm sure it can be both encouraging and discouraging. i know that there are misconceptions out there about my life. and for sure i have misconceptions about yours. 

when courtney asked me to contribute to this series, i was super excited! i'm ready! let's get real. but as i sit down to write, i am realizing that i'm not exactly the person who people ask "how do you do all the things?!" ... because i don't. i don't do all the things y'all. i am a recovering people pleaser, who is becoming increasingly better at saying no. better at setting boundary lines for myself. better at, frankly, ticking a few people off in the process. and not feeling the need to explain myself, or over apologize for it all. it's not easy for me, but i'm working on it. 

so, how can i get real with you?

i've been married for 6 years to my best friend, and i am a stay at home mama to one little beautiful boy. my husband and i have a really good marriage, and we work hard at it. we date, we don't watch much TV, and we love being together. i love my son to pieces and i love staying home with him. it's been my dream for as long as i can remember. to be a wife. to be a mama who stays at home. 

there's the pretty part. the good part. and it is real. but, you know. there's more than meets the eye.


my husband is my best friend:: but we are polar opposites. he leaves me notes in the morning, yes. you'll sometimes see them posted on my instagram. they're sweet and heart-felt. but... he does that because i've asked him to. i've told him that a little yellow sticky note on the bathroom mirror in the morning is more important to me than all the roses in the world. makes no sense to him.... neither does hugging every 10 minutes, i can't imagine why... but he does these things for me.
what you don't see are the reminders on his iPhone to do these things for me. because they do not come naturally to him. i used to take issue with this, but i don't anymore. he's trying. he doesn't read my mind; i have to ask him for what i want him to do. and vice versa. this is how our marriage is working. by talking it out {sometimes loudly talking it out. ah-hem} 

my son is adorable. he is precious and fun to be around. he has this really cute little voice. sometimes i'll write out his "quotes" online... but you must understand: he didn't call me mama until about 6 months ago. right before he turned 3. his speech delay is one of those things i never thought i'd struggle with as much as i do. and because i struggled with it so much, i didn't write about it often. it seems silly, i know... because it may even be "normal" for boys to not talk until this age. but it is difficult. i see my mama friends conversing with their kids... having real life conversations with their kids, and i crave it. oh to be able to ask your child what he needs, what he wants, and have him respond! it's getting better, and i know he will get there. but for a long time, it was this constant every day battle. every word, every request, every tantrum:: what is it? how do i coax it out of him? what does he need? is this normal? is he normal?? it was tiring and trying and discouraging at best. the fact that i tend towards worrying doesn't make things easier. i found myself annoyed at friends complaining of their talkative toddler. 'if they only knew!!' i would think. but now... i understand now, friends. i do. levi is talking a lot more, and currently, my biggest day-to-day question is "how much is appropriate and/or healthy to ignore your toddler's constant request for 'mommy' on a given day?" ... so, there's that.

at this point in life, my son is an only child. but i never anticipated life looking this way. we have lost 3 babies to miscarriage in the past 2 years. i've written pretty extensively about the miscarriages on my blog. i haven't for a little while recently, mostly because i don't want to be a debbie downer. but in reality... it continues to be the hardest thing i've ever endured. every day i miss them. i'm thankful for the people in my life that i can call on any given day and cuss and scream and cry with. i need them. i need that outlet. 

people have told me how 'strong' i am to have gone through all of these losses, and still trust God as much as i still do. while i am thankful to be on the other side of this with, it's true, more love for Jesus than ever before... i cringe to think that people assume i have walked through this gracefully. i haven't done it gracefully. i only am thankful for the grace in it. because that is what was required for this woman to make it through those seasons... and much grace is required to even consider walking forward and trying to have more babies again. it has been one ugly day after another at certain points.


the truth is:: if you met me, you would see a fiery redhead with a big smile and loud laugh. i am a generally very happy person. i think a common misconception is that because i'm a happy, thin, married mother who loves Jesus: that i don't really struggle. that i don't have anger issues. (i do.) that i don't struggle with body image issues. (i do.) that my husband and i don't have really nasty arguments. (we do.) that i don't lose my cool with my son. (God help me.) that i don't have the need to "get the heck out" every other day. (i love you panera, with your couches and coffee and free wifi.) that just, in general, i don't have some serious stuff that every day needs to be brought before the foot of the cross. i think there's even sometimes a misconception that because i'm honest and open about these things, that i have something that you don't. or that because i still have joy in the midst of all of these crazy things: that i am lying, or faking it. and it's all just completely untrue. 

look at the laundry piles around you... you know, the ones that have been clean for a week... and know that i have that same pile, too.

the child, who is screaming & (half) sitting in time out. mine is in the same place. 

i'm the woman at your church... the one who sings in the front and possibly you think she has confidence for miles:: but she struggles too. the reason she is so happy to worship Jesus is because He has shown up in her despair and her triumph and has ministered to her in a real way through all the seasons. it doesn't mean she has it all together:: it means she is desperate for a beautiful God to come and be with her every minute.

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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

12 comments :

  1. Loved this! Thanks for sharing, Julie!

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  2. I think you should write a book someday, Julie.

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    1. i would LOVE LOVE LOVE to write a book. i can't pick a topic :) i am too much of a rambler. any idea's? ;)

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    2. also:: THANK YOU. that is one stinking gigantic compliment. seriously.

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    3. ooooh...I don't know what it would be about, but I know I'd read it!

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  3. thanks ladies!! :) it was fun writing this. an awesome series, courtney :) xo

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  4. Thanks for sharing, Julie!! (and the reminder to be thankful for the cross! Amen!)

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  5. Oh my goodness, Julie. You are so real! Love this post and love your writing style. It is so down to earth and honest and so many of these topics that you mentioned are things that I think about. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. I love your red hair (showing MY real)!! beautiful post and a great reminder to me that we are all going through hard stuff at any given moment. it's just best to be kind to the people we see/meet/interact with daily and weekly. yes? blessings to you!

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    1. I'm so jealous of her mane...
      and I agree with you- we have no idea sometimes what people are dealing with...how real their real might be. Julie is an awesome example of how to approach things, and people, with grace.

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