Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Why I'm never busy

Hey. How are you?

Is that you? Are you guilty of giving the lamest set of answers to the world's most common question? 

(I am.)

Good. Fine. Busy. Those words don't even mean anything, really. They're shorthand for: "I'm acknowledging your question, while realizing you probably aren't really looking to get into a deep conversation about my actual well being. So I will let you off the hook with a one word response and a small nod, and we can both be on our way. I am so very busy after all."

And sure, we all know that 99 out of 100 (ok...or at least 9 out of 10) times someone asks that question, they actually don't want to get into a deep conversation about your actual well being. "How are you?" is often no different than "What's new?", "Hot enough for ya?", or "How 'baht dem Stillers?" They're just things we say to fill the space, to pass the time, to keep things light.

And I can actually pretty much get behind Good. And Fine. But busy? 
C'mon. That's a cop out. It's like a pity wave mixed with humble brag, doused in obvious sauce (which I think is like metaphorical ketchup?) 

You're busy. So busy. Swamped. Crazed. Full plates. Spinning plates. Wearing all the hats. 

We get it.

But we get it, because we're living it too. We're all busy. Even people who are totally not even busy.

Have you ever, EVER asked someone: "How's it goin'?"And had them respond: "Eh, good. Kind of bored. Like, swimming in free time. It's surprisingly unsettling, actually. But you know what they say: So much time, so little to do!" ?

I'm gonna go with nope. You haven't.

Because for real. Everyone is busy. Even those people you constantly compare yourself to, thinking smugly, "They think they're busy....Ha! I could rock their busy like a second shift. I'd kill for their busy. They'd be real sorry if they ever even glimpsed at my busy. My busy would kick their busy's tail feathers." (That's Christian mommy-blogger for a**).

Busy is a badge of honor. It's a claim to fame. It's a justification of our own importance. Busy is the opposite of lazy, of unpopular, and boring. Busy is productive, and in-demand, and Amurican.

...and it's a bit of a self-involved martyr.

So can we just cool it with the busy?
No, I'm not suggesting your new default answer becomes #soblessed. (even if that's like, totes true). I just think that when asked how we're doing, we can all muster up a teensy bit of honesty, or even creativity, and look beyond the low-hanging "get out of this convo free" fruit of busy.

So, how are YOU? 

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  1. YES. This exactly. These days whenever I catch myself about to say "I'm so busy" I try to stop, think, and give a different answer. Busy is overrated.

  2. Well. Every day I'm hustlin'! hahaha. This is so true: somehow conversation has become just another thing to suffer through, instead of an opportunity to live fully by engaging with the person or activity before us.

  3. I so wish more of us could be honest when this question is asked (and for the asker to WANT honesty ;) ). I've been making an effort to say anything other than 'busy', or to give a little more detail!