Thursday, November 16, 2017

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 29

It's been MONTHS since our last edition of this nonsense...and I've been sitting on some real winners. Go 'head, girls...

Pip-speak #1:
Mama: Look at the potbelly pigs. Do you want to see him on the way out?
Piper: Are you kidding me? I wish it was my job to go to the fair. 
Mama: *beams with pride*

Pip-speak #2:
Piper: Be careful of that spider because he will eat you to death.

Pip-speak #3: 
Piper {listening to Fin being disciplined in the car}: Daddy, if I was a if I tooked your place, then I would give her another chance. 

Pip-speak #4: 
Piper: Those people riding bikes aren't wearing helmets. Isn't that over the law?

Pip-speak #5: 
Piper {at the Southwest airport gate}: Are these guys and girls almost as nice as the guys and girls at Ikea?

Pip-speak #6: 
Piper: I know why it's called chicken. 'Cuz it's made out of a dead chicken. Wouldn't it be funny if you didn't take the fur off of the cow and your steak had spots?

Pip-speak #7: 
Mama {asking about a teacher at school}: Do you like Ms. X?
Piper: I don't. Because she always hugs me. I don't like her hugs. They're too squeezy. 

Pip-speak #8: 
Piper {Listening to Homegoods hold music}: Is this like, teenager music?

Pip-speak #9: 
Piper {seeing Fin fall asleep in the car after a rough day}: G'mi, she is kind of cute when she is asleep!

Pip-speak #10: 
Piper {spotting a Coca-Cola truck}: Look mama, it's a big red truck with your favorite writing on it.

Pip-speak #11: 
Piper: Jesus rose again from the doom. {Points to the paper tomb she made at church} This is his doom. 

Pip-speak #12: 
Piper: Daddy why can't you drive?
Daddy: Because Mama is right now.
Piper: But if you could drive then you could stop telling her what to do. 

Finnish #1: 
Fin {to the tune of Ba Ba Black Sheep}:  
Yes sir, yes sir, have you any wool? 
Yes sir, yes sir, have you any wool.  [x1000]

Finnish #2:Fin: Can you get me more bologna-o?
Mama {loooooong pause}: Salami?
Fin {sheepish giggle}: Yeah.

Finnish #3:
Fin: Bunny's name is Bunny unless he's in trouble and then it's Jelly. 

Finnish #4:
Fin: Mama, I counted all the way up to 29. That's pretty impressed huh? Usually I count down low but this time I counted up high. 

Finnish #5:  
Fin: Let's go open our presents. You got one too. But you only get dangerous things in your basket. Mama: Really?
Fin: Well. Probably.

Finnish #6:
Fin: G'mi, will you please pick me up? I'm very cuddly.

Finnish #7:
Fin: Piper will you trade me places? I don't like sitting next to Miller. He smells like a dog.

Finnish #8:
Fin: I'm really close to Piper. A'cuz after I be 4, I be 5. 

Finnish #9:
G'mi: Fin, I can't believe you're going to be four years old.
Fin: I can't believe me either.

Finnish #10:
Fin: Galley-up horsey!

Finnish #11:
Mama {supervising a pony ride}: What did you name your horse?
Fin: Mo' betta. 
Mama: Loretta?
Fin: No. Mo' betta. 

Dynamic Duo #1:
Piper {after hearing the rules of pool basketball}: It's like throwing soccer!
Fin: Will you help me get taller so I can actually throw it?

Dynamic Duo #2:
Piper: Mama, I'm having a party. I'm getting married. You can come. Fin is my husband. 
Fin: Mommy, can you please not clean up? Can you just get married with us?

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