Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 37

Fin basically wrote this installment's intro, when I was asking them random conversation starter questions recently:

 

Fin: Ooh you should ask us "What do you like most about kids being young?" If I was a grown up I would say "How funny they are." Because they say stuff wrong and it’s hilarious. 

 

Too true, Finney girl.

 

Pip-speak #1:  
Piper {on cinnamon donuts}: They taste like Joann fabrics.

Pip-speak #2:  

Piper: I have an idea!
Miller: You ALWAYS have an idea.
Piper: That’s because I’m an idea person. 

 

Pip-speak #3: 
Mama: Did Miller put his sunglasses in the freezer?
Piper: Yep. He wanted to make them cooler!

Pip-speak #4: 
Mama: I need to check my phone and make sure I have enough storage.
Piper: I though you had extra storage?
Mama: I do- but I take a LOT of pictures
Piper: Oh- so it’s extra storage for boring moms but it’s just regular storage for awesome moms?
 

Pip-speak #5: 
Piper {in the car, working on a drawing}: “How do you spell handzitizer?”

 

Pip-speak #6:  

Fin: I want to use dry shampoo like you, Piper.
Piper: You can’t. Your hair is clean. Mine is clean-ish

 

Pip-speak #7: 
Piper {on Fin’s cheerleading routine}: That was WAY more boring than last year. {pause} What? Still good though!
 

Pip-speak #8: 
Piper {on her basketball team}: Do you know why we’re called the chicken wings? On our first practice we were gonna do “hands in” but then we decided elbows was safer, and then we thought it looked like chicken wings so it just stuck. 

Pip-speak #9:  

Piper: Sometimes I get new freckles from chocolate.

Pip-speak #10:  

Daddy: I didn’t get fired I got laid off.
Piper: Is that like half firing you? Like they kinda wanted you, but mostly didn’t?

 

Pip-speak #11:  

Mama: Aw man, the stain isn’t coming out of this pillowcase.
Piper: Well at least you don’t know what happened so you don’t have a kid to be mad at.

 

Pip-speak #12: 
Mama: As long as someone’s teaching you about Jesus.
Piper: I’m being teached about Jesus in my bible study.
Mama: Teached?
Piper: Maybe I should be teached in learning.

Pip-speak #13:  

Piper: I always thought Swedish fish was like “sweet…ISH” fish, but it’s “Swedish” like the world.

Pip-speak #14:  

Piper {on voicemails}: I am VERY bad at making recalls.

 

--------------------------------- 

 
Finnish #1:

Fin: If you gave away the pool table I would cry until my eyeballs were dry.

Finnish #2:

Mama: Get ready, these cinnamon rolls are super sour-doughy.
Fin: I can picture it in my mouth. 

 

Finnish #3:
Fin: Is there such a thing as a three-marriage? Like- where three people are married?

 

Finnish #4:

Mama {to all 3 kids, jokingly, I swear}: Eat your dinner and shut your traps. 

Finley: I don’t want to shut my traps. They’re staying open!

Finnish #5:

Miller: Can I borrow that toy?
Finley: Sure. Knock yourself crazy.

Finnish #6:

Finley {on other people's dessert choices}: Getting a smoothie from an ice cream place? Who does she think SHE is?

Finnish #7:

Finley {on other kids at the pool}: They fight a lot; have their ups and downs.

Finnish #8:

Kid's friend: Kids Bop takes good songs and ruins them.
Fin: No, Kids Bop is actually saving kids’ lives.
Piper: No they’re not!
Fin: Well, they’re saving them from saying bad words!

Finnish #9:

Finley: I’ll give the toy to you I’d you tell me how beautiful I am.
Piper {eyeroll}: You’re so beautiful.
Finley: You need to say it to my face. *spins around dramatically* Yesssss, Piperrrrrrrr?!

Finnish #10:

Finley: Daddy didn’t give us any breakfast. He just slapped down some waffles. 

Finnish #11:

Fin {on coordinating our neighborhood Christmas lights contest}: There is an upside and and downside to living in this neighborhood. The upside is you get to spread Christmas cheer by working together. But you also have to spend your own money on it. 

Finnish #12:

Finley: Before you use that straw you need to say you’re sorry to the turtles.
Miller: I don’t think they can hear you.
Finley: Yeah but GOD can!

Finnish #13:

Finley {prior to the school Trunk-or-Treat event}: So like- how are we gonna do this? Because I don’t wanna be like, walking around with a mom around. Are you just gonna like…stay in the car? *does not pause for an answer* Ok but like please…just…I don’t want a mom there with my friends.

Finnish #14:

Mama {on always being the one who finds everything}: Well guess who found it? Me. Because I'm an excellent finder.
Fin {demonstrating great sensitivity to the residual effects of my childhood glaucoma}: Well maybe it’s because your one big eye can see more stuff.

Finnish #15:

Fin {on gymnastics mats}: For the first time ever we got to go on the good floor.
Mama: What’s the difference with the good floor?
Fin: I don’t know..it’s just like…boing-ier?

Finnish #16:

Fin: {says slither instead of sliver. That's all. It's just really cute.}

 

 ---------------------------------

Miller Musings #1:
Mama {on Fin and Miller's schemes}: You two always have an idea.
Miller: Yes, and they NEVER work.

Miller Musings #2:
Miller {playing a game with me}: I thought you won. That’s why I was talking real sad.
 

Miller Musings #3:
Mama: *reads a book about a dragon with a cold* 

Miller {pointing to his fire breath}: That is unlikely. He should have a hot.

Miller Musings #4: 

Mama: This car is so messy!
Miller: It's like we’re on vacation!
Mama: Why bc you’re having so much fun? Or because our car is so messy?
Miller: Because I’m having so much fun AND our car is so messy!

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: A big mess always means a good art!

Miller Musings #6: 

Miller {seeing the first bright start that night}: Look! A baby Jesus star!

 

Miller Musings #7:
Dad {during a road trip}: Next state is Pennsylvania!
Miller: Hey! That’s where pencils go on vacation

Miller Musings #8:
Miller: Mommy, when I’m a grown up will there not be as much COVID as there is now?

Miller Musings #9: 

Miller: Mom’s super power is taking pictures and being nice. Dad’s super power is being really strong and doing good at driving the car. 

 

Miller Musings #10: 

Miller {on Chicken Soup for the Soul}: Mommy, I think this book is about souls because the chicken gets runned over and then he’s just a soul.

Miller Musings #11:
Miller: Daddy said in the dictionary there’s a thing called a dingle and there’s a picture of me!! I’m famous!

 
Miller Musings #12:
Miller {looking at the stuffed animals at the library gift shop}: Ooh look a pig! Oh, a hippo! The hippo is next to the pig. That must be the cute section. 

Miller Musings #13: 

 Miller: Look! A jumberlack!

Miller Musings #14: 

Finley: Did you know my teacher has a twin?
Miller: So she’s a grown up that has a twin?
Piper: What- did you think there were only kid twins?
Miller: Umm yeah.

 

Miller Musings #15:

Miller {on elderly groundhogs}: The grandmas look like regular groundhogs but just with a little more wrinkles. And the grandpas have a mustache.

Miller Musings #16: 

Mama: What’s your instrument called?
Miller {holding a kazoo}: A zarooga? I dunno. It’s something with a z. 

Miller Musings #17: 

Miller {on rollercoasters}: I’ll scream the whole time. But I’ll do individual screams. Because I can’t scream that long. 

 

Miller Musings #18:  

Miller {on knitting}: Mommy! That dog has a sweater...made out of...um...fur? No. Um...leather? No. I dunno...

 

 ---------------------------------

Dynamic Duo #1:

Fin; Mommy, I like your highlights.
Piper: You’re not supposed to say that! Then everyone knows they’re not real.
Mama: It’s cool- I’ve got no secrets.
Piper: You do have secrets!
Mama: Like what?!
Piper: After we go to bed at night you probably kiss daddy like 1 million times.
Miller: AND on our birthday you hang up streamers in our room. 

 

Dynamic Duo #2:

Mama: How many songs are you singing in your school concert, Miller?

Miller: Like a LOT. But not TOO many.
Mama: So, somewhere between a lot and not too many?
Fin: So like…enough. 

 

P.s. If you just can't get enough, check out the last round...or all 30+ installments. 

 

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Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 35

I have an ongoing note in my phone where I save quips from the kids, and I realized I haven't input them into a blog post since last June. Do you know how many funny things kids can say in that amount of time? I believe the official number is: 1,0000-infinity-mind-boggle. So for posterity's sake...here we go:

Pip-speak #1:
Piper: {Referring to a pom pom dog craft} I made him for G’mi and Papa because he looks old just like they are because he has a mustache.

Pip-speak #2:
Piper: When a woman says later she means never. 

Pip-speak #3:
Mama: {complimenting Dustin on untangling a stuffed dog leash} Daddy’s just really good at that.
Piper: What, mind blowing his wife?

Pip-speak #4:
Mama: {At the end of Piper's birthday} Was there anything you dreamed of that we didn’t do?
Piper: It was all that and more.

Pip-speak #5:
Mama: Do you remember what a one hit wonder is? Someone with only one really good song.
Piper: Oh! Like Vincent Van Gogh!
Mama: Ummmm, no.
Piper: I mean his paintings
Mama: Still no.

Pip-speak #6:
Mama: {Cleaning out the drain} Man, I get all the best jobs.
Piper: I mean, you do. Because you get to listen to every word Miller says. Even the funny ones.

Pip-speak #7:
Mama: Is there EVER a time when all 4 kids are happy at the same time?
Piper: Disney. I smile all day there! I bet I smile in my sleep there.

Pip-speak #8:
Piper: Jess said she wanted a blue tongued skink for her twenty...umm...twenty-two...twenty-two-th birthday.

Pip-speak #9:
Piper: Well there are jandals.
Mama: What are jandals?
Piper: Japanese sandals. Don’t you know?

Pip-speak #10:
Piper: I tried to make you an origami corgi. It turned out as good as you thought it would. (If you thought it would be bad, you were right).

Pip-speak #11:
Piper: Do I have bangs?
Mama; No.
Piper: DID YOU CUT THEM OFF?!

Pip-speak #12:
Piper: We’ve only been celebrating my birthday for 10 minutes and it’s already the best day of my life.

Pip-speak #13:   
Piper: You raised me very well.
Mama: Oh- am I done? Are you fully cooked?
Piper: No. I still forget to wipe my mouth after I eat.

Pip-speak #14:
Piper: I've been meaning to ask you, what do married people do? Like when they don’t have kids what do they do all day?
Mama: anything they want!
Piper: but what do they do all day, isn’t it boring?
Mama: well they still have jobs. But at night they can do what they want.
Piper: that sounds like they’d be bored out of their minds.

Pip-speak #15:
Piper: {regarding Fin and me} She really must have a little bit of you in her. Because she’ll talk to anyone!

Pip-speak #16:
Piper: Today was the best day ever!
Mama: yeah, it’s fun to spoil you guys sometimes.
Piper: That’s what G’mi does all the time.
Mama: I know! She’s got the best job. Meanwhile, I have to have rules and make sure you turn into a good person.
Piper: So she doesn’t do anything but ruin your hard work?

---------------------------------

Finnish #1:
Fin: {discussing modeling the fruit of the Spirit} I know one thing that will happen if you do all that. You’ll get a biiiiiig present from Santa!

Finnish #2:
Fin: Mommy, do you know what I did? I woke up because I had to go potty so I took my clothes into the bathroom and then I put them on and then I put my jammies on over them and got back in bed so when it was time to wake up, all I had to do was unzip them and then I could go watch TV.

Finnish #3:
Fin: Working might be boring but not if you’re the president. If you’re the president you buy expensive chairs, build a castle with your builders, make $100,000...

Finnish #4:
Daddy: Why do we have so many stuffies and why do they have to go in the car with us?
Fin: They don’t have to, they GET to.

Finnish #5:
Fin: {explaining species of marine life at the zoo} They were circle sting rays instead of the flappity ones.

Finnish #6:
Fin: Is it even possible that a person could see two squirrels at the same time? Beacause I totally just did that.

Finnish #7:
Finley: {on a bike ride} Oh I remember this place. Now the whole way home is the back of my hand.

Finnish #8:
Finley: Mama, you are super wonderful and powerful, because God made the baby inside of you, but YOU had to get it out by yourself. And producing the baby alive is the tough part. 

Finnish #9:
Finley: Nails are like little helmets for your fingers.

Finnish #10:
Finley: I saw a sign in that window that was a person with its arms out and I think it was trying to give the whole world a hug.

Finnish #11:
Fin: I’m so hungry I want to eat my own tongue.

Finnish #12:
Fin: Jammie-picnic-movie-dinner. It can’t get any excitinger than that!
 
Finnish #13:
Fin: You guys should just buy me a phone and then I wouldn’t have to ask you which way is left. I would just ask Siri.

Finnish #14:
Fin: {putting on yet another "show" for us in the playroom} You know you’re my fans, right?

Finnish #15:
Fin: {turning recycling into art} There is no such thing as too many boxes, Miller.

Finnish #16:
Mama: I still don’t have my robot to clean all my dishes.
Fin: Just ask papa. He probably has an extra tire.
Mama: Is that what we need?
Fin: How else would he get around?

Finnish #17:
Fin: {while I scratched her back} Yeah- that’s what you do sometimes at night and it makes my belly suck in without me even doing it.

Finnish #18:
Fin: {on her scooter} Last time I tried to be a cool girl. Like doing sharp turns and stuff.

Finnish #19:
Fin: Mama! There are balloons and the big one?? I blew up with my very own mouth!

---------------------------------

Miller Musings #1:
Miller: Why are they called star fish? Because they’re shaped like a star but they’re not fish... And why are they called sand dollars? Because they’re not made out of sand and they’re not dollars.

Miller Musings #2:
Miller: Mom that would be scary if Santa was a dinosaur bc he would say “Ho, ho, roar!”
Mama: But that’d be cool if Santa had dinosaurs instead of reindeer.
Miller: Well, they’d probably be triceratops because they have horns. but they’d probably have to have different kinds of dinosaurs, because, I mean...T-rexes ARE kinda heavy, so they probably couldn't fly.

Miller Musings #3:
Miller: Mom, I was thinking me and Fin could do a world record for most whipped cream liking.
Mama: Oooooh- Who would win between the two of you? Or would it be a tie?
Miller: DEFINITELY Fin.   

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: {during bedtime prayers} God, I pray that mommy and daddy do not have a frustrating life.

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: Why are you laughing?
Mama: Because you’re funny.
Miller: I can be funny when I want to be.
Mama: yes. But sometimes you’re funny when you don’t mean to be.
Miller: Sometimes I just talk and it’s funny. Like right now.

Miller Musings #6:
Daddy: {in the car} Is everyone buckled? Miller?!
Miller: No! I’m always a dingle hopper!

Miller Musings #7:
Miller: I’ve had a hangnail so long I even know what it’s called.

Miller Musings #8:
Miller: Dancer and prancer rhyme! Ooooh. One of them dances, and one of them bounces! Wait- what does prance mean?

Miller Musings #9:
Miller: {playing "Go Fish" with Fin, and she's peeking at his cards} Fin, stop doing that. You’re wrecking my bee’s wax.

Miller Musings #10:
Miller: Are you going on a date? What’s even the point if you can’t kiss because you have to wear a mask?

Miller Musings #11:
Mama: {trying to get Miller to guess a dinosaur} Think of something big and green.
Miller: I can’t think of anything.
Mama: What about an animal...it’s extinct!
Miller: I don’t know what that means
Mama: It means it’s dead. There aren’t any of them anymore.
Miller: OHHHH I KNOW. It’s a PARROT!

Miller Musings #12:
Miller: I don’t remember that. Because small people don’t have big memories.

Miller Musings #13:
Mama: How many crayons are there?
Miller: 8
Mama: Good job! Can you show me eight with your hands?
Miller: {contorts his hands into two circles, one on top of each other}
Mama: I kiiiiinda meant could you hold up 8 fingers. But that works too.

Miller Musings #14:
Mama: Miller! I put my shirt on inside out!
Miller: I thiiiiink you pulled a miller. And I pulled a Miller too. Because I put my FOOT in my SLEEVE!

Miller Musings #15:
Mama: Which one is your left hand?
Miller: This one. But then when I turn around...this one is my right!

Miller Musings #16:
Miller: {arguing over who gets to cuddle who} Finley, Mommy is the same as Daddy only she smells gooder.

Miller Musings #17:
Miller: I wish we were the magic family.
Mama: Yeah? What would we do?
Miller: We could make fireworks...for the day! And rainbows when it doesn’t even rain! And put people in time out!
Mama: That’s what we’d use our magic for?
Miller: Yep. One clap, and they’d be glued to the spot. But when they calmed down: magic.

Miller Musings #18:
Miller: I’m so hot tears just came down from my head.

Miller Musings #19:
Miller: This will be the awesomest day of my life. I got glow sticks, I got to go to Gmi’s house and I get to go to a light show.

Miller Musings #20:
Miller: The worst part about tongues is you can’t put a bandaid on them.

Miller Musings #21:
Miller: Drawing is easy. But I’ve never done reading before so I don’t know how hard that is.

Miller Musings #22:
Miller: Mom, when I’m sleepy I yawn. But I KNOW it's bedtime. They don’t have to remind me.

Miller Musings #23:
Miller: But guys, the worst part about having a dog....is that when you’re making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich they’ll get the peanut butter right out of your hand!

Miller Musings #24:
Me: Should I trust you with this popcorn in the car?
Miller: That’s really a question you should be asking yourself.

Miller Musings #25:
Miller: {singing} Ooh ooh shut up and dance with me. Mom! Why would anyone dance with you if you say shut up to them? That’s not nice.

Miller Musings #26:
Mama: {rubbing Miller's head at bedtime and gets hand caught in his hair}
Miller: Yeah, some of my hairs have loops in them.

Miller Musings #27:
Miller: I don’t know what milky ways taste like.
Mama: Like a snickers without the peanuts.
Miller: OH- NOW I know how you can tell- by the reading on it. That’s how you know- by the symbols on the reading.

--------------------------------- 

Dynamic Duo #1:
Fin: {riding bikes with Miller} I’m like, SO close to you. Just let me pass you.
Miller: I said no, Fin. And no means NO.
Fin: Well then I’m going to be mad at you for the rest of your LIFE.

Dynamic Duo #2:
Mama: Want to try this cheese?
Piper: What’s it called?
Mama: Applewood Smoked Cheddar.
Piper: Oh- it tastes like wood.
Miller: Well, wood is a little more hard

Dynamic Duo #3:
Finley: I have an idea. If you buy a gun to shoot a chipmunk then you can give us the dead chipmunk and the gun and we will put it on the ground in front of our strawberry and the other chipmunks won’t eat it.
Miller: If you make a gun that looks like chipmunk then they would try to make friends with it and then it would shot him.

Dynamic Duo #4:
Fin: I SAID- if you don’t do what I say I’m gonna ignore you for the rest of my life.
Miller: Yeah well did you hear my promise? It’s even worser.
Fin: No way. Mine is worser. Because I’m gonna ignore you until forever. I’m never gonna talk to you again. I’ll only text you...when you get a phone.
Miller: IGNORING! IGNORING! IGNORING!
Fin: That’s not how you ignore. It starts...NOW!

Dynamic Duo #5:
Mama: One of my biggest problems with Trump is how he treats women. He is very disrespectful to women.
Fin: If he’s mean to women, how come he’s married?
Mama: Great question. I really don’t know why she’s with him. Probably because he has a lot of money.
Piper: Well that’s bad. So you want to get rid of him before we’re older so he can’t treat us bad?
Mama: Kind of. I don’t want him to be president anymore because I don’t want anyone thinking that the way he acts is OK.
Piper: Well we could be nice since he isn’t!
Fin: Yes and then we’ll have more boys that want to marry us!!

Dynamic Duo #6:
Piper: If you had to, would you be a foot doctor or a nose doctor or a privates doctor?
Fin: Or one of the people that has to dig to get the baby out?

Dynamic Duo #7:
Mama: When you’re old enough to have a Valentine what are you going to do together?
Pip: Go on roller coasters. And when it’s scary we’ll scream and hug.
Fin: Love each other for infinity. 

P.s. If you just can't get enough, check out the last round...or all 30 installments.

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Psssst....Want to get all the Bowdenisms news delivered right to your inbox? 

YES PLEASE! Subscribe via email and never miss an -ism.  xox.

 

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 34

Being trapped blessed in a house for months with four kids, you overhear a lot of nonsense... Here's our latest round of quips (with a few doses of quarantine humor thrown in...)

Pip-speak #1:

Piper: Every time you say "government" I lose my mind and start thinking about unicorns because that is the most boringest word ever. 

Pip-speak #2:
Piper: If you really temper me I’ll tell you. But you REALLY have to temper me. 
Mama: What does that mean? 
Piper: It means annoy me so much I can’t stand it and I just give up and tell you. 

Pip-speak #3:
Piper: {when Alexa told me Target might close early due to current health concerns} Wait-she knows what’s going on? Like with the Corona virus? Well, she knows the news, so.... That is incredible. She is awesome. 

Pip-speak #4:
Piper: This quarantine is the worst. I hate it. I used to think someone saying “Hey, we’re having enchiladas for dinner” was the worst. But now this is. 
 

Pip-speak #5:

Mama: I know your siblings get on your nerves sometimes, but wouldn't it be worse to be an only child right now?
Piper: Yeah, because then you’d be even bored-er. 

Pip-speak #6:
Piper: I’m getting back in the bouncy house. It’s what the kids are doing these days.

Pip-speak #7:
Piper: {When I showed her an advertisement in a magazine} Why do they have commercials and avatars in mazagines? 

Pip-speak #8:
Piper: I might not be sick, but I’d rather be cautionate. 

Pip-speak #9:
Piper: I know how to say pigs in British: oink-ahs 

Pip-speak #10:
Mama: Aw man! I forgot my reusable bags! 
Piper: It’s ok. Everyone makes mistakes and you can save the planet next time. 

Pip-speak #11:
Piper: I am pampered!! I am pampered because you opened the car door for me! 
 
Pip-speak #12:
Mama: Whatcha doing? 
Piper: Oh we’re just turning my bed into a flying pirate ship. It’s easy. 

Pip-speak #13:
Piper: When I put my hair in a ponytail it looks like a Chihuilly art piece. 
 
---------------------------------

Finnish #1:
Fin: {with some slightly confused commentary on my secondhand shopping obsession} Did you have to rent these Christmas presents? 

Finnish #2:
Fin: Are you serious? Tell it to me in my eyes. 

Finnish #3: 
Mama: Do you know what my job is when Mr. Andrew gets engaged today? 
Fin: Being the ring burier? Reading the text book? The flower girl?

Finnish #4:
Piper: {when we were discussing how some people aren't quiet ready to be parents} But if she wasn’t ready to be a mom, why did she have a baby? 
Fin: Because sometimes you just love each other too much...well you can’t actually love each other TOO much. But when two persons love each other so much, a baby just happens.

Finnish #5: 
Fin: {stalling at bedtime} But my teeth aren’t ready to go to bed yet!

Finnish #6: 
Fin: What do the teachers do now that they don’t have a job? 
Mama: Well, they still do kind of...they have to send us stuff to do.
Fin: Yeah but they just send us what to do and they don’t have to be on their computers all day so they probably just send us stuff and then go play with their kids all day. 
Mama: Well, umm...yeah, they probably do. 
Fin: MUST BE NICE.

Finnish #7: 
Fin: {on the bouncehouse} I jumped so much I have to pee!
Finnish #8: 
Fin: How come everyone’s bootie waggles when they walk?

Finnish #9: 
Fin: {on social distancing at a nearby pond} Those ducks aren’t even trying to stay away from each other. 

Finnish #10: 
Fin: {regarding a cupcake} I drooled a little because it was so yummy. 
Finnish #11: 
Fin: We were pretending to be poor people. But Piper said we can’t be British. 
Mama: Because British people can’t be poor?
Fin: No. British people come from France. And France is very famous because they have the Eiffel Tower.

---------------------------------

 Miller Musings #1:
Miller: {looking around very seriously as he eats his lunch} Mama...we kinda can’t see our own eyes... 

Miller Musings #2:
Mama: Since we’re staying up so late you have to go to bed nicely. 
Miller: But is it ok if we be tired? Because I’m always tired after movies. 

Miller Musings #3:
Miller: There are three animals that steal soft shell turtle eggs: monitor lizards, honey badgers, and bamboos. 
Mama: What’s a bamboo? 
Miller: It’s like a monkey, but different. It’s actually called a...ba-bam! 
Mama: You mean a baboon? 
Miller: Yeah!! 

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: {after Dustin's grandma died} We can’t send Mom-Mom cards anymore because there’s not a mailbox that can send to her. There is only a Santa mailbox 

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: These rolls are so good!
Mama: I know! I could eat about 17 of them!
Miller: I could eat 'til the end of the numbers! 

Miller Musings #6: 
Miller: Mom, what’s a balloons least favorite type of music? You have three choices- pop, rock and roll, or ocean sounds.

Miller Musings #7: 
Miller: {regarding our family bike ride} I wanted to keep up with the girls because I didn’t want to get lost. Because then I wouldn’t have anything to eat and I would shrink. And maybe die. 
Miller Musings #8:
Miller: I’m not going to have a baby when I’m a grown up because I’m gonna be a dad, because boy kids grow up to be dads and girl kids grow up to be moms. But when I’m a grown up, I’m going to have to buy my own money. And not even just from my doggie bank. I’m going to need a lot more than that.

--------------------------------- 

Dynamic Duo #1:

Piper: Do you ever think that this Corona thing will extinct us? Like dinosaurs? 
Finley: Piper has a point there. Because then if we were extincted, we’d be dead. 

Dynamic Duo #2:
Miller: {discussing what happens when people pass away} So she’s floating on a cloud? 
Fin: Maybe God wraps his big long arms in a hug around all the dead people to make them happy. 

Dynamic Duo #3:
Miller: Are these poison ivy or pollen? 
Piper: It’s clover.

Dynamic Duo #4:
Mama: {commenting on a really nice neighbor boy} That kid is just the sweetest. 
Piper: Yeah, he was raised properly. 
Fin: The first words out of his mouth are pure flowers. 

--------------------------------- 

And because sometimes the things that come out of our mouths even catch us by surprise:

Parental Point #1:
Mama: Snack cups are not hats. We have talked about this.

Parental Point #2:
Daddy: Please don’t get your tears all over the wall 

--------------------------------------------
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Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 33

These kids crack me up on the daily, so I've been collecting some of their best quotes for an end of the year edition of: 


Pip-speak #1:
Mama: What’s the sitch?

Piper: Here’s the sitch. Every night I’m gonna fill up my water bottle because I have NO standards. I have NO standards for leftover water. 

Pip-speak #2:

Mama: {Whistles} Bet you didn’t know I was a whistling superstar!

Piper: No! Because last year you were really bad, so I just assumed you were still as bad as last year.

And you said that so I’m not just saying that.

Pip-speak #3:
Piper: {seeing a gay couple on a baking competition} G’mi do you know what that means?
G'mi: Ummmm, no...?
Piper: It means they can make their own wedding cake!” 

Pip-speak #4:

Piper: Since my class is SO talky, we’re never gonna get a dance party.

Pip-speak #5:
Piper: Mama, where are my clean socks? Because I already wore my favorites so all that’s left are my unfavorites. 

Pip-speak #6:

Piper: Mom, you haven’t even had your dinner yet? And we’re on our third helping? This is why they have Mother’s Day. 

Pip-speak #7:
Mama: What do you want for your birthday?

Piper: Well, I don’t want a Bitty Baby anymore. Well, I do. I just don’t want anyone to have to spend $60 for one. I want SANTA to get it for me so no one has to spend money. Unless Santa has to buy it??!

Pip-speak #8:      
Mama: Our house is 17 years old.

Piper: Stay cool, house! Because you’re in high school. Or college. I don’t know!

---------------------------------

Finnish #1:

Fin: Halloween is about love. 
Mama: Really? Why? 
Fin: People take their time off from just going to sleep to give out candy for a little bit.  

Finnish #2:
G'mi: {Seeing Fin crying on the playground} Do you want to go get in line with your friend?  
Fin: No, because then I’ll get in trouble. And then I will have to cry for two things and right now I only want to cry for one.

Finnish #3:

Fin: {eating M&M's} The browns just taste like plain chocolate. The colored ones are magical.

Finnish #4:

Fin: {after church} G’mi, where are the delicious donut holes everybody’s talking about? 
G'mi: Finley, aren’t you supposed to say "Hi, G’mi. How are you?” 
Fin: I can’t. My mind can only think about delicious donut holes right now.

Finnish #5:

Fin: Everybody thinks red and green are the only Christmas colors, but aren’t ornaments all different colors? Why can’t they just share the love?

Finnish #6:

Fin: {sitting in the car, trying to "meditate"}

Piper: I know how to MEDITATE, Fin! Ohmmmmm. Ohhhhmmmmmm.

Fin: Stop it! I’m trying to focus! And I can’t when you make that NOISE!

Finnish #7:

Fin: {handing me the playing cards} Can you skeedaddle them? Like- do a bridge?

Finnish #8:  
Miller: I love to share.
Fin: Well that’s one thing I’m not very fond of.    

Finnish #9:  
Fin: I like Jimmy John's because it has the word G’mi in it and I really like G’mi.

Finnish #10:  

G'mi: {putting helmets on the kids to ride bikes} Miller's head must be bigger than yours because his fits.
Fin: His head cannot be bigger than mine. He does not know as much as I do.

Finnish #11: 

Fin: Mama, how do you say that word: fashion consultant? Will you be my fashion consultant? 

Finnish #12: 
Fin: Miller, I can wear my Minnie shirt and you can wear your Mickey shirt and then we can play "marry".

Finnish #13: 

Mama: My mom used to be a 2nd grade teacher at at that school. But not anymore.

Fin: Because she’s too old for that.

Finnish #14:  

Fin: {to me when I came to tuck her in} I knew you were home. 
Mama: How? 
Fin: When I was in my bed, I heard jingling {the bracelets I always wear} and I knew mommy was home.

---------------------------------

Miller Musings #1:

Piper: Why does Iron Man have that thing on his hand?

Miller: Oh. So he can pew.

Piper: Pew?

Miller: {makes gun noises} Pew! Pew! Pew!

Miller Musings #2:

Miller: {teaching a Halloween saying} First you say trick or treat. Then you say smell my feet.

Mama: Yeah, and then you say: "Give me something good to eat."

Miller: And then you say thank you!

Miller Musings #3:

Miller: {picking out his jammies} Sorry Mom. Sometimes I just havta take forever.

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: {scheming about something} Let's plan up a deal...

Miller Musings #5:

Miller: {explaining the Easter story} And Jesus was in a tube. A tube is something with a bunch of rocks and the BIGGEST rock covers the cave. And his friends comed over and they all ate a fish.

Miller Musings #6:

Piper: {reading a caption in a book} bell pepper.

Miller: That’s a short name for tomato!

Miller Musings #7:

Miller: {while driving by a big forest} That looks like a jungle!

Mama: Yeah! What do you think lives in there? Tigers?

Muller: Yeah, and all scary things...

Mama: Like snakes?

Miller: Yeah. And sharks!

Miller Musings #8:

Piper: Miller, you know, the Easter bunny works just like Santa!

Miller: Yeah. The Easter bunny is all white, just like Santa’s beard!

      

--------------------------------- 

Dynamic Duo:

G'mi: Christmas is about being kind.

Fin: No- it’s about love and sharefulness.
Miller: NO- it's about Jesus' BIRTHDAY! 

--------------------------------------------
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Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 32

I've been doing this series nearly five-and-a half years (pretty much since Piper started chattering!). Sometimes I can't believe how many quips I've jotted down, and sometimes I feel like I could record them all day and still not capture the full hilarity of their nonsense As they've gotten older, their mispronunciations have become fewer, but their goofy innocence remains. And their unique takes on...well, pretty much everything...keep me giggling (and occasionally cringing). Piper is starting to have her own real perspective on the world, Fin has a humor all her own, and Miller....we'll he's just a nutball (a very enthusiastic nutball). Here's a collection of quotes from the last few months- outta the mouths of my babes.



Pip-speak #1:
Mama: Is that food on your face? Or a freckle?
Piper: A freckle.
Mama: Oh- I wasn't sure. Is that new?
Piper: I guess so? I didn’t put it there!

Pip-speak #2:
Mama: We're going to lunch at 101 Beer Kitchen.
Piper: Again with the beer places?!

Pip-speak #3:
Mama {Inquiring on the "daycare" she was running for Fin and Miller while I took a shower}: How was your baby daycare? Did you have a lot of babies?
Piper: Oh, I only had two, but they were two handfuls.

Pip-speak #4:
Piper {seeing a dog that looks like my sister's dog}: That dog is so cute. He looks like Yona. Should they marry?

Pip-speak #5:
Mama {explaining a prom dress charity event}: If they pick a dress they love, but you don’t, you’re not supposed to say anything because all that matters is that they are happy.
Piper: You’re great at that! 
Mama: At lying to people and pretending I like things? 
Piper: Yeah! I’ve see you do it to babies? 
Mama: What?! 
Piper: Yeah, like when a baby gives you something and you say “Oh, that’s great!” Even though it’s not.

Pip-speak #6:
Mama {about Alexa}: She never listens. She does whatever she wants.
Piper: She’s a ROBOT! And I don’t think she’s that good at speaking

Pip-speak #7:
Mama: We need to let your teacher know you’re going to miss school because of Disney.
Piper: Yeah- I’ve been trying to tell her but since we’re learning about penguins there hasn’t been time.

Pip-speak #8:
Piper: I know how to make Rice Krispie treats from the bottom of my heart! You melt the marshmallows until they’re sticky, like for 40 minutes at 40 degrees...

Pip-speak #9:
Piper {about me}: She’s so much more than just a fun beautiful girl. She’s a MOM. That’s what she is.

Pip-speak #10:
Piper: I don’t ever want to wear high heels unless I’m gonna be the mayor; something really important.

Pip-speak #11:
Mama: We got called about another foster about today, and they didn't pick us, again.
Piper: Aw man! Who's hogging all the babies?!

Pip-speak #12:
Miller: We’re almost to Grandpop’s house. Is Grandpop gonna be there?
Piper: Yeah! Because he doesn’t have a job! You know how G'mi doesn’t work anymore? But she still makes money somehow? Like, a little?...Kinda...?

Pip-speak #13:
Piper {carrying the nativity stable on her shoulder}: I’m a teenager! 
Daddy: Why?
Piper: Because I’m carrying a beat drop on my shoulder!

Pip-speak #14:
Piper: I’m going to live in Ohio forever because there is other scary stuff in other countries. Like rattlesnakes.

Pip-speak #15:
Piper: I’m trying to learn to sleep without stuffed animals. Because that would be weird if I was a grown-up with them. And I am almost ten you know.

Pip-speak #16:
Piper: Can I tell you a funny story of what happened when we were in math centers?
Fin: What is a math center?
Piper: A math center is where teachers put you when they need a break!

Pip-speak #17:
Mama: Do you know how many stomachs does a cow have?
Piper: Four! One for water. One for grass. One for...umm....super yummy grass. And one for the milk to go in. 

---------------------------------

Finnish #1:
Mama: We got a call about a foster baby today but they found another home to take care of her.
Fin: Aw. I really wanted to meet someone new!

Finnish #2:
Fin {to Miller, in a parking lot}: If you just ran off and the car didn’t see you, you would turn into a street pancake.

Finnish #2:
Fin {trying to find the loose end of the toilet paper}: Are you really gonna play this game with me?

Finnish #3:
Fin: Mama, let me tell you a secret! But plug your other ear so it doesn’t fall out.

Finnish #4:
Daddy {helping her with a boo-boo}: It’s going to feel better I promise.
Fin: I don’t take promises without a pinky!

Finnish #5:
Fin: We can watch television, Miller. Television is like an old, old, old TV.

Finnish #6:
Fin {way before my birthday}: I just want to tell you about your present!
Mama: Tell bunny {her favorite stuffie}. He can keep a secret.
Fin: Yeah, bunny will keep his ears shut.

Finnish #7:
Fin: Oooh, I know why they have movie theaters! It’s so that people who don’t have enough money for a TV can go there to watch things!
Piper: Fin, I think movie theaters are even more expensive than a TV.
Mama: True. But you’re right, Fin, not everyone has a TV. We’re especially lucky because we have two!
Fin: Yeah! I bet we’re the only people in our whole neighborhood who have TWO TVs!

Finnish #8:
Fin: How come Jesus didn’t get presents on His birthday? 
Mama: He did!
Piper: Oh yeah, from the kings!
Mama: They brought Him gold, frankincense (which is smell good stuff), and myrrh (I’m not actually sure what that is).
Fin: I think it’s gel. For His hair. Like daddy!
Piper: I don’t think so.
Fin: Well He is a king. So He needs to look handsome.

Finnish #9:
Mama: Would you want to own a bakery?
Fin: No. That’s too hard. In my life I don’t want to do anything hard. I don’t want to have a job. I just want to be a mom. 

Finnish #10:
Fin {playing house}: I had a baby. But it’s not a foster care one. It’s just a regular one.

Finnish #11:
Mama: I got the most beautiful fabric to make a quilt for a friend's baby boy.
Fin: But it hasta be a he stuff.

Finnish #12:
Fin: I’m going to live in our house when you’re dead. Because I love it. And I love it so much I’m still gonna be sleeping on my underbed. {the bottom bunk}

Finnish #13:
Fin: When Miller grows up he’s going to get married to a girl. But I’m already grown up!
Mama: So are you ready to get married?
Fin: No, but I am ready for a phone!

Finnish #14:
G’mi: What game would you like to bring to our house to play with Papa?
Fin: Either one that I’m good at or one that I kind of cheat at.

---------------------------------

Miller Musings #1:
Miller: To turn me three I hadta have my supa hero birfday first.

Miller Musings #2:
Mama: Should we get this cookie dough?
Miller: YES! 'Cuz when dey maked, dey gonna be SO GOOD.

Miller Musings #3:
Miller {from the bathroom, nearly every day}: I’m presenting youuuuuu...I'm presenting....a BIG poop!

Miller Musings #4:
Miller {seeing a van with stick figures on the back windshield}: I saw a car that had all the persons from Chef Mickey. But they didn’t have their stuffed hats on.

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: Mom, I’m a very scary animal. I’m a vampire bat. And these are my wings, so I can hug you. That’s my power, Mama. To hug people.

Miller Musings #6:
Piper {seeing the Country Bear Jamboree characters at Disney}: Well, I know those are just people dressed up as bears.
Miller: What if we meet a bear dressed as a guy!?!

Miller Musings #7:
Miller {carrying a lunchable and two stickers}: Mama I’m too heavy of stuff!

Miller Musings #8:
Miller {while eating}: Mom, do you know why I’m rubbing my belly like that? Because it’s so good.

Miller Musings #9:

Miller {trying to practice a somersault on the stairs}: I can't do a tall, small, roll lika ball on the steps.
Mama: No, it's not safe, is it?
Miller: Nope, it's because there are all these lumps, so I can't do it. 

Miller Musings #10:

Miller: Who’s God?
Mama: God’s the one who made us all. He’s the one we pray to and say thank you.
Miller: You mean the mailman?

Miller Musings #11:

 Miller {when he wakes up}: You know who wants to see me?! MOM DOES!!

--------------------------------- 

Dynamic Duo #1:
Fin: When you grow up you’re gonna be an old man. And you’ll have wrinkles and old hands.
Miller: No I won’t! I’m gonna be a big boy!

Dynamic Duo #2:

Fin {Showing me her nails}: That's my biter. And my nose picker.

Piper: Yeah, Pointer’s always the nose picker, because Thumb is too big. See? {unsuccessfully sticks her thumb up her nose}

Dynamic Duo #3:

Miller {looking at the artificial tree in our kitchen, after Christmas}: Why did we get a new tree?

Mama: We didn’t. I just redecorated it.

Piper: Most people don’t get to decorate for New Years. We’re so lucky!

Fin: It’s like a party in our house! 

P.s. If you want to fangirl over our chatterboxes, you can check out the last round...or the whole series of silliness.

--------------------------------------------
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Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 31

My kids are honestly some of the funniest kids I know. And as they get older, sometimes they're even making me laugh on purpose. I've got four months of quips in the queue here, so brace yourselves for the onslaught of one-liners.

Pip-speak #1:

Mama: Your teacher seems like just the nicest.
Piper: Yeah. Except for when our friends pee on the toilet seat. That happened two times today and she is not ok with it at all. 

Pip-speak #2:
Mama: We’re going to a new Chick-Fil-A.
Piper: It’s right by a Walmart? Please tell me we don't have to go in there. That’s the smells weird store.
 Pip-speak #3:
{Hearing a loud bang in the parking lot}
Piper: What was that noise?
Mama: I don’t know!
Piper: Well, it sounds like something I don’t want to get killed by.  

Pip-speak #4:
Mama: How was your day?
Piper: Guess what we learned? Guinster {the guinea pig we were pet-sitting} can fit under the TV cabinet! But we got him. And I cleaned up the poop. And don’t worry. We already washed all his hair out of your mixing bowl. 
 
Pip-speak #5:
Mama: I couldn't remember all the kids' names in your class if you gave me a thousand dollars.
Piper: I'll tell you all my best friends and you can see if you can remember. {lists a bunch of friends, putting up a finger to count each one...names one kid specifically that I didn't think was her favorite...}
Mama: I thought you didn’t like him because he doesn’t help in gym?Piper: Well, he did sit next to me at lunch so he gets a half finger.

Pip-speak #6:
Piper: Ikea's food is so good. Because they serve their food warm and never hot.

Pip-speak #7:
Chelsea {their friend}: Boys are badder than girls.
Fin: Yeah. Girls are gooder.
Piper: But miller is awesome at being cute.

Pip-speak #8:
G’mi {getting super frustrated}: GET. YOUR. SHOES. ON.
Piper: Did you even know you had that voice?

Pip-speak #9:
Piper: Why do you have to go to training?
Mama: To learn how to be good parents. to you guys and to foster kids.
Piper: Well, I don’t think being a good parent means leaving us!!

Pip-speak #10:
Piper {not wanting to share bathroom space with Miller}: Miller...Your bathroom...is your diaper. 

Pip-speak #11:
Piper: Is there such a thing as a laugh brain?
Mama: A what?
Piper: When you laugh so hard that your brain hurts? Because that’s what I have.

Pip-speak #12:
Piper: I hope there’s Florida in heaven. Because then I can go to the beach with God.   

Pip-speak #13:
Piper: Were you ever in a wedding?
Daddy: Yep.
Piper: What were you? A mini bridesboy?

Pip-speak #14:
Piper: Fin let’s make a deal, you give me the flamingo raft or I’ll throw all of these toys in the pool and you’ll have to get them.
Mama: I don’t think that’s a deal. That’s more of a threat.
Piper: Well, I call it a deal-threat. 

Pip-speak #15:
Piper: Miller, you can be a mer-man and I’ll be a mer-girl!
Pip-speak #16:
Mama: You remember so many things. Your brain must be full.
Piper: Actually, it has 100 more space in it.  
Pip-speak #17:
Mama: Do you think your friends would like to play on your swingset?
Piper: Yeah! It has two swings! Everything you could ever want!

Pip-speak #18:
Mama: Guys, today is Friday! It’s the weekend!
Piper: Friday isn’t the weekend. But it is the weekend eve!

Pip-speak #19:
Mama: At the airport they were giving people a lot of money if they wanted to give up their plane ticket.
Piper: So what did you do?
Mama: I came home.
Piper: Because having a lot of money is nice but being with us is even better.

Pip-speak #20:
Fin {regarding frozen yogurt}: It just tastes better when I mix them.
Mama: You do you, lady
Piper: And she...will do she.

---------------------------------

Finnish #1:
Fin {while coloring}: Can you draw something beautiful while I cut these out? Just draw something that inspires you. Do you know what “inspire” means? It means beautiful, just don’t draw a princess.

Finnish #2:
Fin {eating ice cream}: Mama, I like yours, but not as best as mine.

Finnish #3:
Fin: I wish I was a boy.
Ms. Heather: How come? 
Fin: Because they don't have to wipe when they pee.

Finnish #4:
Fin {describing her first day of school}: We didn’t read any books but I did learn to read. But not that good. 
 
Finnish #5:
Fin: Mom, how many fostercares can we take? Two? Three?
Mama: You mean how many kids can stay with us? Two.
Fin: Aw. I wanted it to be three. If I were a mom I want 3. One who’s 4, one who's 3 and a tiny newborn baby. 

Finnish #6:
Fin {after G'mi told her that her cousin was coming over to play}: Well you better up your game, lady, and push me in the swing before he gets here. 
Finnish #7:
Mama: For your wedding you can wear whatever you want.
Fin: For my wedding I’m going to be naked.
Mama: What’s you’re husband going to wear?
Fin: Just underwear and a bow tie.  Fin: I was dying for thirst.  

Finnish #8:
Miller {putting on his "cool dude" sunglasses, and seeing Fin is putting on hers too}: I don’t want you to be a cool dude.
Fin: Sorry. Already am. 

 

Finnish #9:
Fin: I want an Icee from there. And if they don’t have that, I’ll have a slushie. 

 

Finnish #10:

Mama {on the last day of school}: Fin, how was your last day?
Fin: Too good to share.

 

---------------------------------

Miller Musings #1:

{During a backyard game of football, Fin and her friend Kaitlin huddle up to "talk strategy". Piper tries with her teammate...}
Piper: Miller, what’s our game plan?
Miller: To play football!

Miller Musings #2: 
Mama: Let's go, kids. We’re gonna run a button loop.
Miller: What’s a buttloop?
 
Miller Musings #3:
{On the way home from the fair, Miller hands me his Kona ice...}
Miller: That’s enough sugar. Don’t want my belly to get sick!
Mama: That's really smart to listen to your body when you've had enough.
Miller: Yeah. 'Cuz last time you said- ‘that’s enough cotton candy!’
 

 Miller Musings #4:
{discussing fires, after seeing a fire engine}
Miller: Mama, if you were a fire girl you could rescue us.

 

Miller Musings #5: 

Miller: Wanna do a little pot?
Daddy: What?!
Miller: Wanna do a little pot?
Daddy: .....Um, do you mean do I want to sing little teapot?
Miller: Yeah. 

 

Miller Musings #6: Piper {talking about a friend who was coming to visit}: I wonder how Elliott got red hair. Because his mom doesn’t have that and his dad doesn’t have that.
Miller: Maybe we put watermelon on his head and he got red watermelon hair!

Miller Musings #7:
Miller {Seeing the flamingo raft is running out of air}: The flamingo’s dying!! 

 

Miller Musings #8:

Jacob {the kids' cousin, regarding Miller}: I think he’s going to be a tomgirl.

---------------------------------  

Dynamic Duo #1:
Fin: I know what you’re putting on. It’s mascara. But it doesn’t actually make people scared. Piper: But it is kind of a mask. Fin: Yeah, but it doesn’t make people scared. Piper: Yeah. It makes people like you.  

Dynamic Duo #2:
{swimming in the lake together...}
Piper: I’m getting nervous. And when I get nervous, I get hungry. Fin: When I get nervous, I pee!  

Dynamic Duo #3: 
Fin: I will tell you what I’m going to write on my card for Miller. "I love you, Miller. You are so cute and so adorable." 
Piper: I think... you have never ever said something that nice about somebody before.  

P.s. If you have all the heart eyes for their crazy mouths, check out the last round...or allllll of 'em.

--------------------------------------------

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Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 30

I know I'm not the only one who thinks Kids Say the Darndest Things, but man...my kids really crack me up. That said, these posts are 95% for me to print for their baby books, and 5% to share with anyone else who thinks this nonsense is funny. Feel free to mosey along if quotes from my special snowflakes aren't your thing. (but if you get a kick out of how much four-year-olds like to say "boogers" and "nipples"...well then, you're in for a potty-talk treat)

Pip-speak #1: 
*Crow cawing*
G’mi: *makes the same noise back*
Piper: Be careful! You might end up having a crow in love with you and then you’ll have a big problem!

Pip-speak #2:  
Piper: I will never be unmad at Finney. 

Pip-speak #3:  
Piper: I only want two things, and one is to have great parents but I already have that so I can check that off my list. And the other is a couch I can bounce on forever. 

Pip-speak #4:  
Piper: Phoenix is my cousin, right? So I can kiss him?!
Mama: Technically he's your second cousin. So you can marry him. But probably don't. 

Pip-speak #5:  
Piper: I’m never leaving this house. Unless my boyfriend has a better house! Like with three bunk beds! (For my kids). 

Pip-speak #6:  
Piper: We played a new game at church. I think it was Apples Apples Japples? {Apples to Apples?}

Pip-speak #7:  
Mama {at a new restaurant}: Hey, they gave me a jar to drink out of instead of a glass!
Piper: They’re treating us like ANIMALS

Pip-speak #8:  
Piper {looking in the mirror}: I like everything about me!

Pip-speak #9:  
Daddy {referring to the placemat Piper made}: If it gets wet it'll get ruined.
Piper: We should eliminate it! {Laminate!}

Pip-speak #10:  
Piper {walking into the grocery store}: Well, now I know the 2 coldest places in the world...the North Pole, and Kroger.  

Pip-speak #11:  
Mama: I heard you’re studying France…what do you know about it?
Piper: They have an Eiffel Tower and they listen to spa music. And wear art hats.  

Pip-speak #12:  
Mama: Look at those blue poinsettias. Aren't they beautiful?
Piper: You mean blue point-SEVENS?

Pip-speak #13:  
Piper {to G’mi}: If you could have anything in the world it would probably be us, right? That’s what mommy says and you taught her!

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And some choice quotes from our second little spit-fire (the spittiest, firey-est): 

  

Finnish #1: 
Fin: Boys don't have eyelashes. They don't wear eye-scara

Finnish #2:
Fin: Is space way way up there? Like, is it past the day? Is the day under space?

Finnish #3: 
Fin {watching a Barbie movie}: Daddy, wouldn't it be amazing if you had the Jeep and we had the van and the Pilot but instead of mommy coming to family dinner she was looking at a camper and you didn't know and then she bought a camper and it was pink? …I hope it has a bathroom and a pool. 

Finnish #4: 
Fin {hearing me singing after school}: If this was the morning you could sing that song all day! 

Finnish #5: 
Fin: That’s Miller’s bunny. Mama: How do you know?
Fin: Because it smells like Miller. Like boogers.

Finnish #6:Fin {referring to her stuffed bunny}: I am good at keeping bunny secrets, especially when he uses potty words. I am not very good at keeping people secrets. 

Finnish #7: 
Fin: That happened yesternight.

Finnish #8: 
Fin: No, his name is Jesus Price  

Finnish #9: 
Piper {pretending to be different animals}: I'm a beaver! I’m a prairie dog! I’m a hippo!
Daddy: I’m a flamingo!
Fin: You could be a pineapple! Or... a loaf of turkey! 

Finnish #10:
Fin {seeing one of my bras in the laundry}: Mama, I really like this nipple thing.  

Finnish #11: 
Mama: Fin, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Fin: A...foster...umm...A mommy or daddy.
Mama: You want to be a mommy?
Fin: OR a daddy!

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And new to the game this time around: Miller. He was a little slow to speak in the beginning (I think two big sisters pretty much had it covered). But he's been talking up a storm recently, so I've tried to document some of his funnier "isms". Even just the little day to day things and funny pronounciations of his are so precious to me. Have anyone figured out a way to freeze time yet? If not...I'll just keep recording these things and hoping I always remember his sweet little lispy ramblings. 

Miller Musings #1:
Miller {every time he counts}: 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, seven-an-teen, 18, seven-an-teen, 18, seven-an-teen. 

Miller Musings #2:
Mama {a Rihanna/Kanye song comes on in the car}: Awww kids, this is my jam.  
Miller: Why it not daddy’s jam?
*Kayne starts singing* 
Miller: NOW it daddy’s jam?

Miller Musings #3:
Miller: I wanna stay at ours house. {All things are "ours" or "yours" plural. Which is only correct about half the time because English is hard}. 

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: You give me a puggy back ride?

Miller Musings #5:
Mama: How was your day? 
Miller: Good. I had fun wif my friends. We play legos.  

Miller Musings #6:
Miller {every single night}: Fank you for making me dinner, Daddy.  

Miller Musings #7:
Miller: Night night mommy. I wuv you. See you in da morning. We make blue waffles.

Miller Musings #8:
Miller: Mommy, I want a sad song because I sad.
*Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love" comes on the Spotify playlist* 
Fin: I don’t like this song  
Miller: It is for ME.

Miller Musings #9:
Miller {every night in his booster chair at dinner}: Bluckle me out, please!

Miller Musings #10:
Mama: Is that crazy or what?
Miller: That is what. 
 Miller Musings #11:
Mama: How much do I love you?
Miller: Super much!

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And not to be outdone...ever...here are some quotes from our five-year-old former foster daughter. (I could have probably written down everything she ever said because she was a TRIP. Here are just a few that were too good not to share).

Kid-Quip #1: 
Miller {playing with the nativity set angel}: It’s a princess!
A: No, it’s not a princess. It's a person that woke up in God and got wings!

Kid-Quip #2: 
A: Mama, is nuts a bad word?
Mama: Depends. Use it in a sentence... WAIT. Nevermind. Yes, nuts is a bad word.
 
Kid-Quip #3: 
Mama: {talking to A about her bio-dad}
A: Which dad? You mean the dad I live with now?…Oh, the one that lives super far away like almost to penguin-town? {Cleveland!}

Kid-Quip #4: 
A: Mommy, when I grow up will you go on a rocket ship with me? We can look at the stars and the earth. And do you know that on the bottom of the earth there are penguins? I think that before the sun goes away, it slaps the moon’s hand. And then the sun takes a turn and then the moon takes a turn. 

Kid-Quip #5: A: {praying at dinner a couple days before they moved out} Dear God, thank you for this night. Thank you for P {her sister}. Thank you for we have to move away because this is too many sisters for us and too much talking to me and is sometimes a little bit annoying. Amen.  
(Bless her. You just have to laugh.) 

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Last but not least...you can imagine how ridiculous it gets when they tag team...

Dynamic Duo #1:
Piper {while driving by the local cemetery}: When I see this place it makes me think of God.
Fin: When I see this place it makes me think of dead people.

Dynamic Duo #2:
A {our foster daughter...looking around at church at Christmas Eve}: Mama, there are lots of white people. No black people.
F: Well Daddy is black...ish.  

Dynamic Duo #3:
{Piper and fin explaining how our house would run if they made the rules}
Our rules:
Yes to jumping on couches
Only clean up on Wednesdays
Watching TV for our whole life
Not going to bed at bedtime
Reading books only when we want to
Make your own breakfast
Nobody has to take a bath 



P.s. If you just can't get enough, check out the last round...or all 30 installments.

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