Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 30

I know I'm not the only one who thinks Kids Say the Darndest Things, but man...my kids really crack me up. That said, these posts are 95% for me to print for their baby books, and 5% to share with anyone else who thinks this nonsense is funny. Feel free to mosey along if quotes from my special snowflakes aren't your thing. (but if you get a kick out of how much four-year-olds like to say "boogers" and "nipples"...well then, you're in for a potty-talk treat)


Pip-speak #1: 
*Crow cawing*
G’mi: *makes the same noise back*
Piper: Be careful! You might end up having a crow in love with you and then you’ll have a big problem!

Pip-speak #2:  
Piper: I will never be unmad at Finney. 

Pip-speak #3:  
Piper: I only want two things, and one is to have great parents but I already have that so I can check that off my list. And the other is a couch I can bounce on forever. 

Pip-speak #4:  
Piper: Phoenix is my cousin, right? So I can kiss him?!
Mama: Technically he's your second cousin. So you can marry him. But probably don't. 

Pip-speak #5:  
Piper: I’m never leaving this house. Unless my boyfriend has a better house! Like with three bunk beds! (For my kids). 

Pip-speak #6:  
Piper: We played a new game at church. I think it was Apples Apples Japples? {Apples to Apples?}

Pip-speak #7:  
Mama {at a new restaurant}: Hey, they gave me a jar to drink out of instead of a glass!
Piper: They’re treating us like ANIMALS

Pip-speak #8:  
Piper {looking in the mirror}: I like everything about me!

Pip-speak #9:  
Daddy {referring to the placemat Piper made}: If it gets wet it'll get ruined.
Piper: We should eliminate it! {Laminate!}

Pip-speak #10:  
Piper {walking into the grocery store}: Well, now I know the 2 coldest places in the world...the North Pole, and Kroger.  

Pip-speak #11:  
Mama: I heard you’re studying France…what do you know about it?
Piper: They have an Eiffel Tower and they listen to spa music. And wear art hats.

Pip-speak #12:  
Mama: Look at those blue poinsettias. Aren't they beautiful?
Piper: You mean blue point-SEVENS?

Pip-speak #13:  
Piper {to G’mi}: If you could have anything in the world it would probably be us, right? That’s what mommy says and you taught her!

And some choice quotes from our second little spit-fire (the spittiest, firey-est)
Finnish #1: 
Fin: Boys don't have eyelashes. They don't wear eye-scara

Finnish #2:
Fin: Is space way way up there? Like, is it past the day? Is the day under space?

Finnish #3: 
Fin {watching a Barbie movie}: Daddy, wouldn't it be amazing if you had the Jeep and we had the van and the Pilot but instead of mommy coming to family dinner she was looking at a camper and you didn't know and then she bought a camper and it was pink? …I hope it has a bathroom and a pool. 

Finnish #4: 
Fin {hearing me singing after school}: If this was the morning you could sing that song all day! 

Finnish #5: 
Fin: That’s Miller’s bunny. Mama: How do you know?
Fin: Because it smells like Miller. Like boogers.

Finnish #6:Fin {referring to her stuffed bunny}: I am good at keeping bunny secrets, especially when he uses potty words. I am not very good at keeping people secrets. 

Finnish #7: 
Fin: That happened yesternight.

Finnish #8: 
Fin: No, his name is Jesus Price  

Finnish #9: 
Piper {pretending to be different animals}: I'm a beaver! I’m a prairie dog! I’m a hippo!
Daddy: I’m a flamingo!
Fin: You could be a pineapple! Or... a loaf of turkey!

Finnish #10:
Fin {seeing one of my bras in the laundry}: Mama, I really like this nipple thing.  

Finnish #11: 
Mama: Fin, what do you want to be when you grow up?
Fin: A...foster...umm...A mommy or daddy.
Mama: You want to be a mommy?
Fin: OR a daddy!

And new to the game this time around: Miller. He was a little slow to speak in the beginning (I think two big sisters pretty much had it covered). But he's been talking up a storm recently, so I've tried to document some of his funnier "isms". Even just the little day to day things and funny pronounciations of his are so precious to me. Have anyone figured out a way to freeze time yet? If not...I'll just keep recording these things and hoping I always remember his sweet little lispy ramblings. 
Miller Musings #1:
Miller {every time he counts}: 1, 2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 16, seven-an-teen, 18, seven-an-teen, 18, seven-an-teen. 

Miller Musings #2:
Mama {a Rihanna/Kanye song comes on in the car}: Awww kids, this is my jam.  
Miller: Why it not daddy’s jam?
*Kayne starts singing*

Miller: NOW it daddy’s jam?

Miller Musings #3:
Miller: I wanna stay at ours house. {All things are "ours" or "yours" plural. Which is only correct about half the time because English is hard}. 

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: You give me a puggy back ride?

Miller Musings #5:
Mama: How was your day? 
Miller: Good. I had fun wif my friends. We play legos.  

Miller Musings #6:
Miller {every single night}: Fank you for making me dinner, Daddy.  

Miller Musings #7:
Miller: Night night mommy. I wuv you. See you in da morning. We make blue waffles.

Miller Musings #8:
Miller: Mommy, I want a sad song because I sad.
*Air Supply's "I'm All Out of Love" comes on the Spotify playlist*

Fin: I don’t like this song  
Miller: It is for ME.

Miller Musings #9:
Miller {every night in his booster chair at dinner}: Bluckle me out, please!

Miller Musings #10:
Mama: Is that crazy or what?
Miller: That is what. 

 Miller Musings #11:
Mama: How much do I love you?
Miller: Super much!


And not to be outdone...ever...here are some quotes from our five-year-old former foster daughter. (I could have probably written down everything she ever said because she was a TRIP. Here are just a few that were too good not to share).

Kid-Quip #1: 
Miller {playing with the nativity set angel}: It’s a princess!
A: No, it’s not a princess. It's a person that woke up in God and got wings!

Kid-Quip #2: 
A: Mama, is nuts a bad word?
Mama: Depends. Use it in a sentence... WAIT. Nevermind. Yes, nuts is a bad word.

Kid-Quip #3: 
Mama: {talking to A about her bio-dad}
A: Which dad? You mean the dad I live with now?…Oh, the one that lives super far away like almost to penguin-town? {Cleveland!}

Kid-Quip #4: 
A: Mommy, when I grow up will you go on a rocket ship with me? We can look at the stars and the earth. And do you know that on the bottom of the earth there are penguins? I think that before the sun goes away, it slaps the moon’s hand. And then the sun takes a turn and then the moon takes a turn. 

Kid-Quip #5: A: {praying at dinner a couple days before they moved out} Dear God, thank you for this night. Thank you for P {her sister}. Thank you for we have to move away because this is too many sisters for us and too much talking to me and is sometimes a little bit annoying. Amen.  
(Bless her. You just have to laugh.) 
Last but not least...you can imagine how ridiculous it gets when they tag team...

Dynamic Duo #1:
Piper {while driving by the local cemetery}: When I see this place it makes me think of God.
Fin: When I see this place it makes me think of dead people.

Dynamic Duo #2:
A {our foster daughter...looking around at church at Christmas Eve}: Mama, there are lots of white people. No black people.
F: Well Daddy is black...ish.  

Dynamic Duo #3:
{Piper and fin explaining how our house would run if they made the rules}
Our rules:
Yes to jumping on couches
Only clean up on Wednesdays
Watching TV for our whole life
Not going to bed at bedtime
Reading books only when we want to
Make your own breakfast
Nobody has to take a bath 

P.s. If you just can't get enough, check out the last round...or all 30 installments.


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