Tuesday, March 26, 2019

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 32

I've been doing this series nearly five-and-a half years (pretty much since Piper started chattering!). Sometimes I can't believe how many quips I've jotted down, and sometimes I feel like I could record them all day and still not capture the full hilarity of their nonsense As they've gotten older, their mispronunciations have become fewer, but their goofy innocence remains. And their unique takes on...well, pretty much everything...keep me giggling (and occasionally cringing). Piper is starting to have her own real perspective on the world, Fin has a humor all her own, and Miller....we'll he's just a nutball (a very enthusiastic nutball). Here's a collection of quotes from the last few months- outta the mouths of my babes.


Pip-speak #1:
Mama: Is that food on your face? Or a freckle?
Piper: A freckle.
Mama: Oh- I wasn't sure. Is that new?
Piper: I guess so? I didn’t put it there!

Pip-speak #2:
Mama: We're going to lunch at 101 Beer Kitchen.
Piper: Again with the beer places?!

Pip-speak #3:
Mama {Inquiring on the "daycare" she was running for Fin and Miller while I took a shower}: How was your baby daycare? Did you have a lot of babies?
Piper: Oh, I only had two, but they were two handfuls.

Pip-speak #4:
Piper {seeing a dog that looks like my sister's dog}: That dog is so cute. He looks like Yona. Should they marry?

Pip-speak #5:
Mama {explaining a prom dress charity event}: If they pick a dress they love, but you don’t, you’re not supposed to say anything because all that matters is that they are happy.
Piper: You’re great at that! 
Mama: At lying to people and pretending I like things? 
Piper: Yeah! I’ve see you do it to babies? 
Mama: What?! 
Piper: Yeah, like when a baby gives you something and you say “Oh, that’s great!” Even though it’s not.

Pip-speak #6:
Mama {about Alexa}: She never listens. She does whatever she wants.
Piper: She’s a ROBOT! And I don’t think she’s that good at speaking

Pip-speak #7:
Mama: We need to let your teacher know you’re going to miss school because of Disney.
Piper: Yeah- I’ve been trying to tell her but since we’re learning about penguins there hasn’t been time.

Pip-speak #8:
Piper: I know how to make Rice Krispie treats from the bottom of my heart! You melt the marshmallows until they’re sticky, like for 40 minutes at 40 degrees...

Pip-speak #9:
Piper {about me}: She’s so much more than just a fun beautiful girl. She’s a MOM. That’s what she is.

Pip-speak #10:
Piper: I don’t ever want to wear high heels unless I’m gonna be the mayor; something really important.

Pip-speak #11:
Mama: We got called about another foster about today, and they didn't pick us, again.
Piper: Aw man! Who's hogging all the babies?!

Pip-speak #12:
Miller: We’re almost to Grandpop’s house. Is Grandpop gonna be there?
Piper: Yeah! Because he doesn’t have a job! You know how G'mi doesn’t work anymore? But she still makes money somehow? Like, a little?...Kinda...?

Pip-speak #13:
Piper {carrying the nativity stable on her shoulder}: I’m a teenager! 
Daddy: Why?
Piper: Because I’m carrying a beat drop on my shoulder!

Pip-speak #14:
Piper: I’m going to live in Ohio forever because there is other scary stuff in other countries. Like rattlesnakes.

Pip-speak #15:
Piper: I’m trying to learn to sleep without stuffed animals. Because that would be weird if I was a grown-up with them. And I am almost ten you know.

Pip-speak #16:
Piper: Can I tell you a funny story of what happened when we were in math centers?
Fin: What is a math center?
Piper: A math center is where teachers put you when they need a break!

Pip-speak #17:
Mama: Do you know how many stomachs does a cow have?
Piper: Four! One for water. One for grass. One for...umm....super yummy grass. And one for the milk to go in. 


Finnish #1:

Mama: We got a call about a foster baby today but they found another home to take care of her.
Fin: Aw. I really wanted to meet someone new!

Finnish #2:
Fin {to Miller, in a parking lot}: If you just ran off and the car didn’t see you, you would turn into a street pancake.

Finnish #2:
Fin {trying to find the loose end of the toilet paper}: Are you really gonna play this game with me?

Finnish #3:
Fin: Mama, let me tell you a secret! But plug your other ear so it doesn’t fall out.

Finnish #4:
Daddy {helping her with a boo-boo}: It’s going to feel better I promise.
Fin: I don’t take promises without a pinky!

Finnish #5:
Fin: We can watch television, Miller. Television is like an old, old, old TV.

Finnish #6:
Fin {way before my birthday}: I just want to tell you about your present!
Mama: Tell bunny {her favorite stuffie}. He can keep a secret.
Fin: Yeah, bunny will keep his ears shut.

Finnish #7:
Fin: Oooh, I know why they have movie theaters! It’s so that people who don’t have enough money for a TV can go there to watch things!
Piper: Fin, I think movie theaters are even more expensive than a TV.
Mama: True. But you’re right, Fin, not everyone has a TV. We’re especially lucky because we have two!
Fin: Yeah! I bet we’re the only people in our whole neighborhood who have TWO TVs!

Finnish #8:
Fin: How come Jesus didn’t get presents on His birthday? 
Mama: He did!
Piper: Oh yeah, from the kings!
Mama: They brought Him gold, frankincense (which is smell good stuff), and myrrh (I’m not actually sure what that is).
Fin: I think it’s gel. For His hair. Like daddy!
Piper: I don’t think so.
Fin: Well He is a king. So He needs to look handsome.

Finnish #9:
Mama: Would you want to own a bakery?
Fin: No. That’s too hard. In my life I don’t want to do anything hard. I don’t want to have a job. I just want to be a mom. 

Finnish #10:
Fin {playing house}: I had a baby. But it’s not a foster care one. It’s just a regular one.

Finnish #11:
Mama: I got the most beautiful fabric to make a quilt for a friend's baby boy.
Fin: But it hasta be a he stuff.

Finnish #12:
Fin: I’m going to live in our house when you’re dead. Because I love it. And I love it so much I’m still gonna be sleeping on my underbed. {the bottom bunk}

Finnish #13:
Fin: When Miller grows up he’s going to get married to a girl. But I’m already grown up!
Mama: So are you ready to get married?
Fin: No, but I am ready for a phone!

Finnish #14:
G’mi: What game would you like to bring to our house to play with Papa?
Fin: Either one that I’m good at or one that I kind of cheat at.


Miller Musings #1:
Miller: To turn me three I hadta have my supa hero birfday first.

Miller Musings #2:
Mama: Should we get this cookie dough?
Miller: YES! 'Cuz when dey maked, dey gonna be SO GOOD.

Miller Musings #3:
Miller {from the bathroom, nearly every day}: I’m presenting youuuuuu...I'm presenting....a BIG poop!

Miller Musings #4:
Miller {seeing a van with stick figures on the back windshield}: I saw a car that had all the persons from Chef Mickey. But they didn’t have their stuffed hats on.

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: MomI’m a very scary animal. I’m a vampire bat. And these are my wings, so I can hug you. That’s my power, Mama. To hug people.

Miller Musings #6:
Piper {seeing the Country Bear Jamboree characters at Disney}: Well, I know those are just people dressed up as bears.
Miller: What if we meet a bear dressed as a guy!?!

Miller Musings #7:
Miller {carrying a lunchable and two stickers}: Mama I’m too heavy of stuff!

Miller Musings #8:
Miller {while eating}: Mom, do you know why I’m rubbing my belly like that? Because it’s so good.

Miller Musings #9:
Miller {trying to practice a somersault on the stairs}: I can't do a tall, small, roll lika ball on the steps.
Mama: No, it's not safe, is it?
Miller: Nope, it's because there are all these lumps, so I can't do it. 

Miller Musings #10:
Miller: Who’s God?
Mama: God’s the one who made us all. He’s the one we pray to and say thank you.
Miller: You mean the mailman?

Miller Musings #11:
 Miller {when he wakes up}: You know who wants to see me?! MOM DOES!!


Dynamic Duo #1:
Fin: When you grow up you’re gonna be an old man. And you’ll have wrinkles and old hands.
Miller: No I won’t! I’m gonna be a big boy!

Dynamic Duo #2:
Fin {Showing me her nails}: That's my biter. And my nose picker.
Piper: Yeah, Pointer’s always the nose picker, because Thumb is too big. See? {unsuccessfully sticks her thumb up her nose}

Dynamic Duo #3:
Miller {looking at the artificial tree in our kitchen, after Christmas}: Why did we get a new tree?
Mama: We didn’t. I just redecorated it.
Piper: Most people don’t get to decorate for New Years. We’re so lucky!
Fin: It’s like a party in our house! 

P.s. If you want to fangirl over our chatterboxes, you can check out the last round...or the whole series of silliness.

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