Friday, June 12, 2020

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 34

Being trapped blessed in a house for months with four kids, you overhear a lot of nonsense... Here's our latest round of quips (with a few doses of quarantine humor thrown in...)

Pip-speak #1:
Piper: Every time you say "government" I lose my mind and start thinking about unicorns because that is the most boringest word ever. 

Pip-speak #2:
Piper: If you really temper me I’ll tell you. But you REALLY have to temper me. 
Mama: What does that mean? 
Piper: It means annoy me so much I can’t stand it and I just give up and tell you. 

Pip-speak #3:
Piper: {when Alexa told me Target might close early due to current health concerns} Wait-she knows what’s going on? Like with the Corona virus? Well, she knows the news, so.... That is incredible. She is awesome. 

Pip-speak #4:
Piper: This quarantine is the worst. I hate it. I used to think someone saying “Hey, we’re having enchiladas for dinner” was the worst. But now this is. 
Pip-speak #5:
Mama: I know your siblings get on your nerves sometimes, but wouldn't it be worse to be an only child right now?
Piper: Yeah, because then you’d be even bored-er. 

Pip-speak #6:
Piper: I’m getting back in the bouncy house. It’s what the kids are doing these days.

Pip-speak #7:
Piper: {When I showed her an advertisement in a magazine} Why do they have commercials and avatars in mazagines? 

Pip-speak #8:
Piper: I might not be sick, but I’d rather be cautionate. 

Pip-speak #9:
Piper: I know how to say pigs in British: oink-ahs 

Pip-speak #10:
Mama: Aw man! I forgot my reusable bags! 
Piper: It’s ok. Everyone makes mistakes and you can save the planet next time. 

Pip-speak #11:
Piper: I am pampered!! I am pampered because you opened the car door for me! 
Pip-speak #12:
Mama: Whatcha doing? 
Piper: Oh we’re just turning my bed into a flying pirate ship. It’s easy. 

Pip-speak #13:
Piper: When I put my hair in a ponytail it looks like a Chihuilly art piece. 

Finnish #1:

Fin: {with some slightly confused commentary on my secondhand shopping obsession} Did you have to rent these Christmas presents? 

Finnish #2:
Fin: Are you serious? Tell it to me in my eyes. 

Finnish #3: 
Mama: Do you know what my job is when Mr. Andrew gets engaged today? 
Fin: Being the ring burier? Reading the text book? The flower girl?

Finnish #4:
Piper: {when we were discussing how some people aren't quiet ready to be parents} But if she wasn’t ready to be a mom, why did she have a baby? 
Fin: Because sometimes you just love each other too much...well you can’t actually love each other TOO much. But when two persons love each other so much, a baby just happens.

Finnish #5: 
Fin: {stalling at bedtime} But my teeth aren’t ready to go to bed yet!

Finnish #6: 
Fin: What do the teachers do now that they don’t have a job? 
Mama: Well, they still do kind of...they have to send us stuff to do.
Fin: Yeah but they just send us what to do and they don’t have to be on their computers all day so they probably just send us stuff and then go play with their kids all day. 
Mama: Well, umm...yeah, they probably do. 

Finnish #7: 
Fin: {on the bouncehouse} I jumped so much I have to pee!
Finnish #8: 
Fin: How come everyone’s bootie waggles when they walk?

Finnish #9: 
Fin: {on social distancing at a nearby pond} Those ducks aren’t even trying to stay away from each other. 

Finnish #10: 
Fin: {regarding a cupcake} I drooled a little because it was so yummy. 
Finnish #11: 
Fin: We were pretending to be poor people. But Piper said we can’t be British. 
Mama: Because British people can’t be poor?
Fin: No. British people come from France. And France is very famous because they have the Eiffel Tower.
 Miller Musings #1:
Miller: {looking around very seriously as he eats his lunch} Mama...we kinda can’t see our own eyes... 

Miller Musings #2:
Mama: Since we’re staying up so late you have to go to bed nicely. 
Miller: But is it ok if we be tired? Because I’m always tired after movies. 

Miller Musings #3:
Miller: There are three animals that steal soft shell turtle eggs: monitor lizards, honey badgers, and bamboos. 
Mama: What’s a bamboo? 
Miller: It’s like a monkey, but different. It’s actually called! 
Mama: You mean a baboon? 
Miller: Yeah!! 

Miller Musings #4:
Miller: {after Dustin's grandma died} We can’t send Mom-Mom cards anymore because there’s not a mailbox that can send to her. There is only a Santa mailbox 

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: These rolls are so good!
Mama: I know! I could eat about 17 of them!
Miller: I could eat 'til the end of the numbers! 

Miller Musings #6: 
Miller: Mom, what’s a balloons least favorite type of music? You have three choices- pop, rock and roll, or ocean sounds.

Miller Musings #7: 
Miller: {regarding our family bike ride} I wanted to keep up with the girls because I didn’t want to get lost. Because then I wouldn’t have anything to eat and I would shrink. And maybe die. 
Miller Musings #8:
Miller: I’m not going to have a baby when I’m a grown up because I’m gonna be a dad, because boy kids grow up to be dads and girl kids grow up to be moms. But when I’m a grown up, I’m going to have to buy my own money. And not even just from my doggie bank. I’m going to need a lot more than that.

Dynamic Duo #1:
Piper: Do you ever think that this Corona thing will extinct us? Like dinosaurs? 
Finley: Piper has a point there. Because then if we were extincted, we’d be dead. 

Dynamic Duo #2:
Miller: {discussing what happens when people pass away} So she’s floating on a cloud? 
Fin: Maybe God wraps his big long arms in a hug around all the dead people to make them happy. 

Dynamic Duo #3:
Miller: Are these poison ivy or pollen? 
Piper: It’s clover.

Dynamic Duo #4:
Mama: {commenting on a really nice neighbor boy} That kid is just the sweetest. 
Piper: Yeah, he was raised properly. 
Fin: The first words out of his mouth are pure flowers. 


And because sometimes the things that come out of our mouths even catch us by surprise:

Parental Point #1:
Mama: Snack cups are not hats. We have talked about this.

Parental Point #2:
Daddy: Please don’t get your tears all over the wall 
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