Wednesday, May 11, 2022

Little Pip-Speaks: Volume 37

Fin basically wrote this installment's intro, when I was asking them random conversation starter questions recently:
Fin: Ooh you should ask us "What do you like most about kids being young?" If I was a grown up I would say "How funny they are." Because they say stuff wrong and it’s hilarious. 
Too true, Finney girl.


Pip-speak #1:  
Piper {on cinnamon donuts}: They taste like Joann fabrics.

Pip-speak #2:  
Piper: I have an idea!
Miller: You ALWAYS have an idea.
Piper: That’s because I’m an idea person. 
Pip-speak #3: 
Mama: Did Miller put his sunglasses in the freezer?
Piper: Yep. He wanted to make them cooler!

Pip-speak #4: 
Mama: I need to check my phone and make sure I have enough storage.
Piper: I though you had extra storage?
Mama: I do- but I take a LOT of pictures
Piper: Oh- so it’s extra storage for boring moms but it’s just regular storage for awesome moms?
Pip-speak #5: 
Piper {in the car, working on a drawing}: “How do you spell handzitizer?”
Pip-speak #6:  
Fin: I want to use dry shampoo like you, Piper.
Piper: You can’t. Your hair is clean. Mine is clean-ish
Pip-speak #7: 
Piper {on Fin’s cheerleading routine}: That was WAY more boring than last year. {pause} What? Still good though!
Pip-speak #8: 
Piper {on her basketball team}: Do you know why we’re called the chicken wings? On our first practice we were gonna do “hands in” but then we decided elbows was safer, and then we thought it looked like chicken wings so it just stuck. 

Pip-speak #9:  
Piper: Sometimes I get new freckles from chocolate.

Pip-speak #10:  
Daddy: I didn’t get fired I got laid off.
Piper: Is that like half firing you? Like they kinda wanted you, but mostly didn’t?
Pip-speak #11:  
Mama: Aw man, the stain isn’t coming out of this pillowcase.
Piper: Well at least you don’t know what happened so you don’t have a kid to be mad at.
Pip-speak #12: 
Mama: As long as someone’s teaching you about Jesus.
Piper: I’m being teached about Jesus in my bible study.
Mama: Teached?
Piper: Maybe I should be teached in learning.

Pip-speak #13:  
Piper: I always thought Swedish fish was like “sweet…ISH” fish, but it’s “Swedish” like the world.

Pip-speak #14:  
Piper {on voicemails}: I am VERY bad at making recalls.
Finnish #1:
Fin: If you gave away the pool table I would cry until my eyeballs were dry.

Finnish #2:
Mama: Get ready, these cinnamon rolls are super sour-doughy.
Fin: I can picture it in my mouth. 
Finnish #3:
Fin: Is there such a thing as a three-marriage? Like- where three people are married?
Finnish #4:
Mama {to all 3 kids, jokingly, I swear}: Eat your dinner and shut your traps. 
Finley: I don’t want to shut my traps. They’re staying open!

Finnish #5:
Miller: Can I borrow that toy?
Finley: Sure. Knock yourself crazy.

Finnish #6:
Finley {on other people's dessert choices}: Getting a smoothie from an ice cream place? Who does she think SHE is?

Finnish #7:
Finley {on other kids at the pool}: They fight a lot; have their ups and downs.

Finnish #8:
Kid's friend: Kids Bop takes good songs and ruins them.
Fin: No, Kids Bop is actually saving kids’ lives.
Piper: No they’re not!
Fin: Well, they’re saving them from saying bad words!

Finnish #9:
Finley: I’ll give the toy to you I’d you tell me how beautiful I am.
Piper {eyeroll}: You’re so beautiful.
Finley: You need to say it to my face. *spins around dramatically* Yesssss, Piperrrrrrrr?!

Finnish #10:
Finley: Daddy didn’t give us any breakfast. He just slapped down some waffles. 

Finnish #11:
Fin {on coordinating our neighborhood Christmas lights contest}: There is an upside and and downside to living in this neighborhood. The upside is you get to spread Christmas cheer by working together. But you also have to spend your own money on it. 

Finnish #12:
Finley: Before you use that straw you need to say you’re sorry to the turtles.
Miller: I don’t think they can hear you.
Finley: Yeah but GOD can!

Finnish #13:
Finley {prior to the school Trunk-or-Treat event}: So like- how are we gonna do this? Because I don’t wanna be like, walking around with a mom around. Are you just gonna like…stay in the car? *does not pause for an answer* Ok but like please…just…I don’t want a mom there with my friends.

Finnish #14:
Mama {on always being the one who finds everything}: Well guess who found it? Me. Because I'm an excellent finder.
Fin {demonstrating great sensitivity to the residual effects of my childhood glaucoma}: Well maybe it’s because your one big eye can see more stuff.

Finnish #15:
Fin {on gymnastics mats}: For the first time ever we got to go on the good floor.
Mama: What’s the difference with the good floor?
Fin: I don’t’s just like…boing-ier?

Finnish #16:
Fin: {says slither instead of sliver. That's all. It's just really cute.}
Miller Musings #1:
Mama {on Fin and Miller's schemes}: You two always have an idea.
Miller: Yes, and they NEVER work.

Miller Musings #2:
Miller {playing a game with me}: I thought you won. That’s why I was talking real sad.
Miller Musings #3:
Mama: *reads a book about a dragon with a cold* 
Miller {pointing to his fire breath}: That is unlikely. He should have a hot.

Miller Musings #4: 
Mama: This car is so messy!
Miller: It's like we’re on vacation!
Mama: Why bc you’re having so much fun? Or because our car is so messy?
Miller: Because I’m having so much fun AND our car is so messy!

Miller Musings #5:
Miller: A big mess always means a good art!

Miller Musings #6: 
Miller {seeing the first bright start that night}: Look! A baby Jesus star!
Miller Musings #7:
Dad {during a road trip}: Next state is Pennsylvania!
Miller: Hey! That’s where pencils go on vacation

Miller Musings #8:
Miller: Mommy, when I’m a grown up will there not be as much COVID as there is now?

Miller Musings #9: 
Miller: Mom’s super power is taking pictures and being nice. Dad’s super power is being really strong and doing good at driving the car. 
Miller Musings #10: 
Miller {on Chicken Soup for the Soul}: Mommy, I think this book is about souls because the chicken gets runned over and then he’s just a soul.

Miller Musings #11:
Miller: Daddy said in the dictionary there’s a thing called a dingle and there’s a picture of me!! I’m famous!
Miller Musings #12:
Miller {looking at the stuffed animals at the library gift shop}: Ooh look a pig! Oh, a hippo! The hippo is next to the pig. That must be the cute section. 

Miller Musings #13: 
 Miller: Look! A jumberlack!

Miller Musings #14: 
Finley: Did you know my teacher has a twin?
Miller: So she’s a grown up that has a twin?
Piper: What- did you think there were only kid twins?
Miller: Umm yeah.
Miller Musings #15:
Miller {on elderly groundhogs}: The grandmas look like regular groundhogs but just with a little more wrinkles. And the grandpas have a mustache.

Miller Musings #16: 
Mama: What’s your instrument called?
Miller {holding a kazoo}: A zarooga? I dunno. It’s something with a z. 

Miller Musings #17: 
Miller {on rollercoasters}: I’ll scream the whole time. But I’ll do individual screams. Because I can’t scream that long. 
Miller Musings #18:  
Miller {on knitting}: Mommy! That dog has a sweater...made out No. Um...leather? No. I dunno...
Dynamic Duo #1:
Fin; Mommy, I like your highlights.
Piper: You’re not supposed to say that! Then everyone knows they’re not real.
Mama: It’s cool- I’ve got no secrets.
Piper: You do have secrets!
Mama: Like what?!
Piper: After we go to bed at night you probably kiss daddy like 1 million times.
Miller: AND on our birthday you hang up streamers in our room. 
Dynamic Duo #2:
Mama: How many songs are you singing in your school concert, Miller?
Miller: Like a LOT. But not TOO many.
Mama: So, somewhere between a lot and not too many?
Fin: So like…enough. 
P.s. If you just can't get enough, check out the last round...or all 30+ installments. 
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