Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Show Your Real: Jami

Do you all know how geeked I am about this Show Your Real series?

Like, super geeked.

We’ve had 3 incredible women share so far, and their words have already blessed my socks off. Clean off, I say. And today, you’re in for a treat among treats, as we have Jami Nato guest posting today. Now, I normally don’t get all caught up in “internet celebrity-hood” (celebrity-dom? Celebrity-ness?) but guys: Jami’s kind of a big deal. She, of course, would never say that, but that’s why she’s an even bigger deal. She is one of a few women I know that are constantly inspiring me with how they use their online voice to point back to the Gospel. And she is as real as they come. Seriously, if there was a scale for realness, she’d tip it. Or something. You get the picture.

I had the pleasure of meeting her at Influence, and she's pretty much like the Kristen Wiig of blogging (by that I mean she's funny and awesome), but instead of tiny hands, she has big foam fingers of authenticy, and Jesus. So
yeah. I'm a fan. But enough gushing...let's just let the woman talk. 
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so i'm showing my real today. in fact, i can't help it. long ago, when my life fell apart after my husband's infidelity, i decided that i needed to stop acting like i had it together. because i didn't. and i actually needed help even though i didn't want to admit it. i was super prideful and boy did i eat some humble pie that year! how's that for an intro? let's get more real.

so. there are a couple of things happening in social media right now that bring to the surface competitive and jealous hearts of us women/humans/maybe you're a robot if you haven't felt envious while looking at a feed? we're looking at people's highlight reels and making up stories that this is normal life for them. it's not normal! it's something funny or awesome or they're proud of their kid or they're celebrating. we see that and turn inward and make it about us. why can't i do that? why doesn't my house look like that? why is her kid behaved?

(hey look! we all got dressed and matched each other because i'm a nerd!)

guess what? it's not really real life. even when i put my real up on here, my sinful heart is so sinful, it will try and twist even my best intentions to tell the truth. and so will you! and so will everyone on instagram and pinterest and your favorite christian blogger. we all fall short...so so so short.

so if you know that, it can help you repent for being jealous, for shaking your fist at God and telling him that he's not enough for you.  and then it can help you ask God to change you. it will help you stop trying to be everyone else and it will free up time and space to focus on what needs to be focused on. God is in the business of changing hearts and minds since 1765. jk. he's been doing it since adam and eve left the garden and he's basically a genius at it. plus, he's all, i love you just the same when you're eating organic and when you're not. and i love you just the same when your kids watch TV all day and when you're being educational super mom. and i love you the same whether you don't vaccinate your kids or do. or breastfeed them or don't. or cleaned your house like a gangster or let it all fall apart.

that's the God that loves you. and when we believe that, we don't have to prove anything to Him or to other people. with that said, we do need to be obedient. don't let your freedom be license to sin, right? if you spend too much time on social media or too much time hovering over your children, you need to repent and ask God to help you change. so there's neither condemnation because of your sin nor license to sin. we are sinners and are compelled to change because of our love for Christ. AND YET He loves us just like we are. good, good news for this wife and mother. praise Jesus that our identity is not in how well we wife and mother!

(my favorite phrase)

that was a long disclaimer and everyone is like, get on with your real self. fine.

patterns for my day:
my husband wakes up with the kids and i sleep until 7:30. i mean, sometimes he's out the door before 7 and then i get up. but he's a champ in this way. and it really helps me a lot.

(my main squeeze. he's a gem)

in the morning, the kids watch shows while i take a shower and read my bible. my children are not the sweet and quiet beings that busy themselves when i am away. they are the permanent marker kind of children that love to draw on furniture. so i don't feel bad about shows if it keeps the peace. my priority is God time and they know it now. sometimes there's a kid in my lap, sometimes there are emergencies (children peeing or drawing on things), so it's not like i refuse to give up this time. as a mother you have to keep things open handed.

(when lila colored on penelope's face with a permanent marker. her tongue was also colored)

we usually run errands and i bring snacks/open every snack while we are out so as to bribe them to not throw fits. if they are exceptionally naughty while we're out, they will have a consequence. but i kind of look at it like, they're doing something i want/need to do so i can't blame them all that much for acting like little kids. because they're kids. i know, i just blew your mind there.

if we're not running errands, we'll bake together or cook or clean TOGETHER. sometimes they aren't helpful but whatever. it's not about that. they are with me and it's generally fun to hang out and teach them how to measure stuff out or sort the forks and the spoons. we dance to the kids bop station and pandora and i get surprisingly out of breath doing jazz hands and lunges. 

so then we eat lunch. and i try and play with them or read a book afterwards. i take lila to preschool and then penelope naps. during this time i try and blog or rest or do whatever i need to do. like look at instagram. LOL. why do i love it so much? 

(dancing and singing, while eating. duh.)

then we pick up the olders from school. and then they play/fight/dominate the house with each other while i try and get dinner ready. we talk about their day when they do laps with the tricycles through the kitchen. it's wild and loud in our house... and very messy. i refuse to clean during the afternoon...it's pointless and everyone gets mad.

we yell in our house. and we apologize a lot. i'm looking at my kids in the eyes and saying, i'm sorry, will you forgive me? i never want them to think i'm perfect. i want them to see that we all need a savior. this mother is not perfect or even close.

(seriously, this is safe.)

we eat dinner at 5:30 and talk about high and lows. what was your high and what was your low? this is very interesting and brings up catalysts for conversation. my low was when "so and so" was mean to me. 
oh! you didn't tell me that. what happened? what was your response? we talk about what God's principles are in that moment. 

(penelope wallowing in sadness under a chair at dinner)

usually, we are yelling these things over someone who's throwing a fit over unwanted dinner. rarely is everyone pleased with what i make. but we all have to stay at the table together until everyone is finished, so we kind of try and tune them out if possible. it's a little painful sometimes and often i am wishing for a margarita to take the edge off. ha. but seriously....


then we play a bit more, take a bath maybe (if they're lucky), read stories, bedtime stuff and then it's off to bed at 7pm. 

after that, nato and i hang out if we can. we clean up the house. mostly he cleans up the house and i kind of pretend like i'm cleaning stuff but then magically end up in the bathtub. wait, how did i get into these bubbles? well, i don't want to waste the water...so...
he likes things tidy, thank the Lord. or else our home would be a disaster.

we have small group some nights, counseling sessions with other married couples, or events probably half or more of the nights out of the week. so that is hard sometimes, and sometimes when it gets wearing, we cancel everything and hang with each other. we've realized that it's important to rest. we watch shows together, catch up on social media, battle each other in phone boggle (i always win), and talk/ laugh/ he tries to make out with me. and sometimes we fight! but that generally gets settled before we go to bed. occasionally i will blog or edit photos at night if nato is gone and i'm alone...it just depends what is pressing. 

that's basically normal for us. all through the day i'm checking emails and instagram. that should probably have more of a structured time instead of just anytime. i'm praying that God would help me change. it's hard to not be selfish or feel entitled to have me time. all the time. because, again, i'm so selfish. so i see the need to change and need God to turn my eyes away from things i want to do to see the needs of others...namely, the little humans i care for. 

i hope you get a sense for what my real is. it's crazy and it's difficult, but it's fun. i'm always learning and never do things right...luckily, God sent someone who is perfect to stand in my place. i'll drink a margarita to that!
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Show Your Real is a bi-weekly series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

41 comments :

  1. Love Jami Nato!

    If my husband didn't pick up our house would be a disaster!

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    1. I totally agree. Without Dustin, this place might be condemned!

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  2. thanks for sharing your heart and your REAL, Jami! The permanent marker face has me LOL-ing. I love it. I can so feel my reaction to that and it's not pretty.... just real. Praying for you today as you live the life!

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  3. wow. that was amazingly real. i'm constantly telling my students that they need to be honest in their narratives or else the reader can sense you're holding back and it affects the writer/reader dynamic. but man, what people are owning up to is beyond what i anticipated. i'm completely loving this whole series. court, you rock for engineering all of this, and kudos to others for opening the curtain. i think there is definitely wisdom to be taken from all of these about 'envy' or the appearance of 'envy' when we naturally objectify the lives of others we only sort of see.

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    1. I'm so glad you like it. Jami is an awesome example of what a blessing it can be to others to live your life transparently. I love that you're passing that lesson on to your students as well.

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  4. dude. seriously BLUSHING. you are kind and sweet and i am not a big deal. you met me and i'm normal and awkward and i like baby hands.
    i love this series.

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    1. I told them you would say that...you're a big deal to ME!

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  5. oh my goodness, love this post. Colored her tongue, AHHHH. I can't imagine. Great post, love. If you a get a sec, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my latest. xo

    www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com

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  6. love this girl.
    God has used her to teach and bless me in so many ways.
    i'm not going to admit if i'm a stalker, or not?, but her realness inspires me as does her honesty. ;)
    xoxo

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  7. Love this! we all need a little more of it! Thank you both!

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  8. yet another jami post that i love. and LOLed to.. especially the bathtub part. and i LOVE this series. what a great idea.. we need WAY more real up in this interweb.

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    1. couldn't agree more...I'm loving how real people are willing to get with each other.

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  9. love this Jami! and I love how you touched on the jealousy thing. That's totally what I was getting at with my Instagram comments with the Modest thing... Thanks for putting words to it here :)

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  10. Thank God for real moms being real! I loved what she said about how our selfishness and sinfulness even comes out when we are trying to be real and open online... it's really true, and I really want to work on this! :)

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  11. aw yes. it's great to read about a big blogger and your daily life is just like mine. :) seriously. it's refreshing!

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  12. That was refreshing. I kept finding myself saying, "me too" or "that's just funny and awesome." God made real life on purpose...glad to see you ladies celebrating it!

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  13. Wow I cannot tell you how much I love this series!!

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  14. Jami Nato I cannot wait to meet you at Hope Spoken. (Or maybe Influence if you'll be there again?) You are sooo wonderful, and inspire me oh, so much.

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    1. I won't be at influence, but will see you at hope spoken!! :)

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  15. i loved this so much, i did my own!
    we need to start being real more often.
    jami's posts always catch my eye.
    especially this one!

    and yes, a really great way to minister to each other!!

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  16. Love the honesty. So on the mark. We yell in the house a lot too. And apologize a lot too. We're a work in progress in this casa.

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  17. So so easy to have "newsfeed envy." I don't always so much envy someone's whole life (although bits and pieces sometimes) but the talent that gets poured into these lives and blogs. It can be intimidating!

    I love that part about how when you are running errands you realize that your kids are just being kids when they get a little naughty. I've often thought that very thing and wondered if I was just justifying their behavior (i.e. my poor parenting). They're just being kids! Kids don't want to "run errands!" Heck, most of the time we don't want to run errands!

    Great post. I enjoyed "meeting" you and seeing your real. So authentic and refreshing.

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  18. This was awesome. Jami is one of my FAVES!!!

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  19. What a fantastic idea! You were totally inspired to start this and I'm an avid Nato fan!

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  20. I really hope, someday, we'll get to the point where we all read something like this and be like, "Well, yeah. Of course. Thats totally normal." Instead of being surprised that we aren't the only mom/wife/homemaker who is mortal. I am SO glad for this series. Because I think it's important to make a point of saying it all out loud. My house may be tidy right now, but that's because I force my children to do child labor. And I have no less than NINE loads of dirty laundry upstairs. And nearly NO food in the house. My husband just put a load of laundry in (woops) and then treatened to eat the food in the bags for homeless people.

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  21. I was pumped to find the #showyourreal hashtag on Instagram just now. This is good. Very good.

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    1. So happy you came by Jacci...and that you've found us on Instagram....it's still a baby of an idea...but I can't wait to see how it grows. And you're soooo right- why are we still so surprised that other people have flaws? I'm able to accept my own limits a little better now...but I still subconsciously think others have it all together. I'm grateful for people like Jami (and the other awesome contributors) for putting it all out there.

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    2. My friends & I had a really good discussion on Facebook spurred on by the things I read here tonight. God is taking care of His daughters :)

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  22. jami. really good post dude. my favorite was you calling all our social media stuff our "highlight reels." so true. perfect description. and so right that even when we try to be fully honest, it's tainted and laced in pretty language. unless you throw a cuss word in there. which i know you try to do for our benefit once in a while.

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    1. It's true. And with these highlight reels, our heart issues shine. I think Sunday mornings at church can also be highlight reels. You get up and look pretty and act nice. Then you tell at your kids in the car on the way home. The "reel" is everywhere. Online and real life!

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  23. Pretty much thinking I love you. Our lives are twinsies. Mostly.

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  24. This series is perfect, hilarious, and encouraging all at the same time! My new favorite reading...

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    1. Wow, Tyra! You're too kind! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!

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  25. Thanks for this post Jamie and for keepin' it realz.

    Love the real life.

    So much better than perfect:)

    Jessie

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  26. I absolutely the idea of the Show Your Real posts! It's so important to be honest in our blogging :) I'm a new follower via GFC.. I'm not quite sure where I found you through - but it was your Show Your Real series posted on someone else's blog (sorry browser window has been open for a few days now!)

    Looking forward to reading more,


    Aanie from www.theactivemum.com

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    1. Hi Aanie! However you found us...I'm happy you did!

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