{28 weeks}
First time: Constant heartburn. Aches and pains- mostly in my back- especially after
sitting or laying down for a while. And sleeping was a little tough. Lots of getting up a lot during the night, and I sometimes had trouble falling asleep in the first place.
This time: Constant heartburn. Aches and pains. Trouble sleeping. Turns out maybe this time is similar to the last time after all- it just all seems magnified! Either pregnancy is harder the second time (a year or so older, with a toddler to wrangle) or I'm becoming a big baby. Perhaps both. I've struggled this time with my back being sore. There were times when my sciatic nerve seemed pinched, and I could barely find a comfortable position. I had my heating pad out constantly, and there were days when all I could do after work was crawl into bed (bending down to help with bathtime, picking Piper up, or even helping pick up her toys became an impossibility). I worried around the 32 week mark that I would be miserable forever, and felt like such a drain on Dustin. But thankfully things turned around (again, pregnancy is a series of ebbs and flows...I'm still learning) and I found myself in less pain, with more mobility again. I'm not saying it's all rosy now- I'm still exhausted much of the time, and can't go-go-go like I used to, but at 9+ months pregnant, I suppose that's to be expected. (Oh, and I get some sympathy points for having a Summer baby this time around, right? Our A/C was broken in the office for a few weeks, and it was breaking the 85 degree mark inside. That's too hot for anyone, but especially someone carrying another someone in their belly.)
weight gain:
First time: 22 ish lbs. I was strangely proud of my textbook weight gain, (though I’m really not sure I had any control over it.) I was so worried that I’d balloon up to twice my size, so I was really thankful that my weight stayed reasonable.
This time: 33lbs. Ok...I don't love that number...but I'm giving myself a bit of a pass, because I started this pregnancy about ten pounds lighter (a year of nursing really takes it out of you...or me, at least!) So I weigh almost the exact same amount that I did last time around. It seems that my body has a magic memory of what it needs (or at least- wants) to do. I'm measuring about the same too. Which I guess is comforting, because it's familiar territory, but it does make me worried that I'm carrying another mammoth baby. No thank you!
cravings/aversions:
First time: Frozen coke? Grilled cheese?…still nothing out of the ordinary. I like what I like.
This time: More of the same! I can't think of anything specific I've been dying for, or avoiding. (I mean, I'm craving sleep, smoothies, backrubs and pedicures...but I don't think those count.)
movement:
First time: Piper was constantly wiggling. I was actually embarrassed sometimes, because she moved so much I thought people around me were going to think I ate a gremlin. And in addition to all of her antics, she just seemed to be so big. At the time, I couldn't imagine that she was going to get even bigger over the next few weeks…(OH, but she did.)
This time: We've got another wild one. I'm told it's good that the baby is so active, and for the most part it's fine with me. I love feeling and watching her crazy squirming. It makes me laugh, and reminds me of how crazy it is to be housing another actual human inside of me. (For real...it's a little mind blowing when you stop to really think about it, right?)
I am loving:
First time: Baby showers! It was so fun to hang out with so many of our friends and family and celebrate the biggest news of our lives.
This time: Hmmmm. Hate to be a downer, but I can't think of much I'm "loving" about pregnancy over the last month or so. It's not that I'm hating it (ok. Sometimes I come close) but the perks of being big, and sore, and tired, are few and far between. I do like this season in an abstract way- preparing for change, dreaming of the future, nesting...that's all great. But sometimes the literal parts of being pregnant get in the way of the fun. I'm trying to take advantage of these last few newborn-less weeks, knowing it's about to get even harder in a lot of ways
I miss:
First time: Alcohol. I never really drank all that much before, but the occasional beer, or celebratory glass of champagne started to sound better and better. I couldn't wait to indulge in a smorgasbord of non-pregnancy-friendly foods and drinks after the baby arrived. I joked about having an “I’m not pregnant!” party, with all my favorite previously-banned foods, and various dangerous activities (i.e. roller skating) wasn't allowed to partake in for the last nine months.
This time: Sleeping through the night. Dancing (other than in my car where no one can really see me.) Climbing a flight or two of stairs without being winded. Clothes that fit. Tying my own shoes. Walking- not waddling. Taking ibuprofen, and allergy pills without concern. Oh, and yes, alcohol. Beer and I are going to have quite the reunion in a few weeks. Come July, if you need me, I'll be hopped up on Claritin, wearing a shirt that covers my waistband, dancing out on the deck with a Blue Moon in my hand (and a baby in my arms). Magical.
spazzing about:
First time: I worried about leaving work for such an extended period of time. I find a lot of my identity in the work that I do, and though I knew the time would fly by, it was still a little tough for me to check out, and leave all my duties with others.
This time: Actually having a baby. Having two kids. Staying home (even temporarily) with those kids. And I don't use the word "spazzing" loosely here. I have some serious fears this time around. There have been a couple times over the last couple months that it's hit me like a tidal wave of fear...remembering what the first time was like (the good, the bad and the oh so ugly) and being terrified of doing it again. With Piper, I had an easy enough delivery, a big baby, and a tough recovery. I had mild to moderate baby blues, so the first month was an exercise in survival. I remember not sleeping, feeding every 20 mins (it felt like that anyway) and generally feeling like the first 6-8 weeks were a blur of pain, exhaustion, doubt...and oh yeah- joy. There was joy. Last time I was nervous about the unknown. This time I'm nervous about the known (AND unknown). I'm asked all the time if I'm getting excited or nervous, and the answer is yes. To both. I'm excited because I know what to expect. But I'm nervous, because I know what to expect (and yet, there is still so much I can't predict!) There is so much good that comes with having a baby, but it's also one of the hardest stages of life, so I'm anxious about my ability to handle it again- this time with another baby at home to still care for. I'm concerned I won't be good enough, or strong enough, or selfless enough; That I won't have enough energy, or enough time or enough patience. I have an idea of what's around the corner, and it's all a little daunting.
looking forward to:
First time: Snuggling my baby. I had come to the point where I was looking forward to the baby part of all of it, rather than just the next maternity milestone. As my belly got to be the size of a real live infant, and as our house filled up with baby gear, it got easier to imagine that there was going to be a human arriving here soon, and that all the prep work and waiting, would finally have a purpose.
This time: Snuggling my babies. I can't wait to see this new little girl...to hold her in my arms and smell her sweet (probably giant) head. And I really can't wait to see my two little girls together. Piper is such a little mama, taking care of her dolls and bears...she just adores babies. I am dreaming of the day I get to have both Bowden girls cuddled up to me on that hospital bed for our first picture- a moment of exhaustion, pride, thankfulness and overwhelming joy.
This time: Constant heartburn. Aches and pains. Trouble sleeping. Turns out maybe this time is similar to the last time after all- it just all seems magnified! Either pregnancy is harder the second time (a year or so older, with a toddler to wrangle) or I'm becoming a big baby. Perhaps both. I've struggled this time with my back being sore. There were times when my sciatic nerve seemed pinched, and I could barely find a comfortable position. I had my heating pad out constantly, and there were days when all I could do after work was crawl into bed (bending down to help with bathtime, picking Piper up, or even helping pick up her toys became an impossibility). I worried around the 32 week mark that I would be miserable forever, and felt like such a drain on Dustin. But thankfully things turned around (again, pregnancy is a series of ebbs and flows...I'm still learning) and I found myself in less pain, with more mobility again. I'm not saying it's all rosy now- I'm still exhausted much of the time, and can't go-go-go like I used to, but at 9+ months pregnant, I suppose that's to be expected. (Oh, and I get some sympathy points for having a Summer baby this time around, right? Our A/C was broken in the office for a few weeks, and it was breaking the 85 degree mark inside. That's too hot for anyone, but especially someone carrying another someone in their belly.)
{29 weeks}
First time: 22 ish lbs. I was strangely proud of my textbook weight gain, (though I’m really not sure I had any control over it.) I was so worried that I’d balloon up to twice my size, so I was really thankful that my weight stayed reasonable.
This time: 33lbs. Ok...I don't love that number...but I'm giving myself a bit of a pass, because I started this pregnancy about ten pounds lighter (a year of nursing really takes it out of you...or me, at least!) So I weigh almost the exact same amount that I did last time around. It seems that my body has a magic memory of what it needs (or at least- wants) to do. I'm measuring about the same too. Which I guess is comforting, because it's familiar territory, but it does make me worried that I'm carrying another mammoth baby. No thank you!
cravings/aversions:
First time: Frozen coke? Grilled cheese?…still nothing out of the ordinary. I like what I like.
This time: More of the same! I can't think of anything specific I've been dying for, or avoiding. (I mean, I'm craving sleep, smoothies, backrubs and pedicures...but I don't think those count.)
{31 weeks}
First time: Piper was constantly wiggling. I was actually embarrassed sometimes, because she moved so much I thought people around me were going to think I ate a gremlin. And in addition to all of her antics, she just seemed to be so big. At the time, I couldn't imagine that she was going to get even bigger over the next few weeks…(OH, but she did.)
This time: We've got another wild one. I'm told it's good that the baby is so active, and for the most part it's fine with me. I love feeling and watching her crazy squirming. It makes me laugh, and reminds me of how crazy it is to be housing another actual human inside of me. (For real...it's a little mind blowing when you stop to really think about it, right?)
{32 weeks}
First time: Baby showers! It was so fun to hang out with so many of our friends and family and celebrate the biggest news of our lives.
This time: Hmmmm. Hate to be a downer, but I can't think of much I'm "loving" about pregnancy over the last month or so. It's not that I'm hating it (ok. Sometimes I come close) but the perks of being big, and sore, and tired, are few and far between. I do like this season in an abstract way- preparing for change, dreaming of the future, nesting...that's all great. But sometimes the literal parts of being pregnant get in the way of the fun. I'm trying to take advantage of these last few newborn-less weeks, knowing it's about to get even harder in a lot of ways
I miss:
First time: Alcohol. I never really drank all that much before, but the occasional beer, or celebratory glass of champagne started to sound better and better. I couldn't wait to indulge in a smorgasbord of non-pregnancy-friendly foods and drinks after the baby arrived. I joked about having an “I’m not pregnant!” party, with all my favorite previously-banned foods, and various dangerous activities (i.e. roller skating) wasn't allowed to partake in for the last nine months.
This time: Sleeping through the night. Dancing (other than in my car where no one can really see me.) Climbing a flight or two of stairs without being winded. Clothes that fit. Tying my own shoes. Walking- not waddling. Taking ibuprofen, and allergy pills without concern. Oh, and yes, alcohol. Beer and I are going to have quite the reunion in a few weeks. Come July, if you need me, I'll be hopped up on Claritin, wearing a shirt that covers my waistband, dancing out on the deck with a Blue Moon in my hand (and a baby in my arms). Magical.
{33 weeks}
spazzing about:
First time: I worried about leaving work for such an extended period of time. I find a lot of my identity in the work that I do, and though I knew the time would fly by, it was still a little tough for me to check out, and leave all my duties with others.
This time: Actually having a baby. Having two kids. Staying home (even temporarily) with those kids. And I don't use the word "spazzing" loosely here. I have some serious fears this time around. There have been a couple times over the last couple months that it's hit me like a tidal wave of fear...remembering what the first time was like (the good, the bad and the oh so ugly) and being terrified of doing it again. With Piper, I had an easy enough delivery, a big baby, and a tough recovery. I had mild to moderate baby blues, so the first month was an exercise in survival. I remember not sleeping, feeding every 20 mins (it felt like that anyway) and generally feeling like the first 6-8 weeks were a blur of pain, exhaustion, doubt...and oh yeah- joy. There was joy. Last time I was nervous about the unknown. This time I'm nervous about the known (AND unknown). I'm asked all the time if I'm getting excited or nervous, and the answer is yes. To both. I'm excited because I know what to expect. But I'm nervous, because I know what to expect (and yet, there is still so much I can't predict!) There is so much good that comes with having a baby, but it's also one of the hardest stages of life, so I'm anxious about my ability to handle it again- this time with another baby at home to still care for. I'm concerned I won't be good enough, or strong enough, or selfless enough; That I won't have enough energy, or enough time or enough patience. I have an idea of what's around the corner, and it's all a little daunting.
{35 weeks}
First time: Snuggling my baby. I had come to the point where I was looking forward to the baby part of all of it, rather than just the next maternity milestone. As my belly got to be the size of a real live infant, and as our house filled up with baby gear, it got easier to imagine that there was going to be a human arriving here soon, and that all the prep work and waiting, would finally have a purpose.
This time: Snuggling my babies. I can't wait to see this new little girl...to hold her in my arms and smell her sweet (probably giant) head. And I really can't wait to see my two little girls together. Piper is such a little mama, taking care of her dolls and bears...she just adores babies. I am dreaming of the day I get to have both Bowden girls cuddled up to me on that hospital bed for our first picture- a moment of exhaustion, pride, thankfulness and overwhelming joy.
{36 weeks}
-----------------------------------------
Your maternity clothes are the best. I love these updates - Can't wait to meet baby girl!
ReplyDeleteYou will rock this like you did the first time. Just remember to take it all one day at a time and you get to start "fresh" every morning. It gets easier every day :)
ReplyDelete