Enough

Ever feel like you just can't quite live up to all the "shoulds" in your life? I'm having one of those days. Or weeks. Or months. I feel like there are so many areas of life in which I'm supposed to reach a certain standard, and no matter how hard I try...I'm just not. quite. enough.

As a woman:

I am not skinny enough. 

I am not fashionable enough. 

I am not happy enough. 

I am not enough. 

As an employee:

I am not creative enough. 

I am not productive enough. 

I am not dedicated enough. 

I am not enough. 

As a mom:

I am not patient enough. 

I am not selfless enough.
I am not organized enough.

I am not enough. 

As a wife:

I am not understanding enough. 

I am not domestic enough. 

I am not sexy enough. 

I am not enough. 

I don't know where I've gotten all of these arbitrary standards I feel I should live up to. Magazines? Social media? Friends? My own crazy head? I know some of them are unattainable and ridiculous, but some of them are real. The challenge becomes sifting through all of the expectations and figuring out what is true and what is false. Where I need to push myself more and where I need to give myself gobs and gobs of grace. Because as much as I would like to write off all of these statements as simple insecurities and needless worries, a lot of them are very real responsibilities and callings I need to answer to. And it's hard. It's so hard, to have so many people need me to be so many things. 
 But the idea that I'm not enough? That's the truth. I'd love to write some girl-power statements about how I'm more than worthy, and flip all these statements to feel good "I'm wonderful because I'm me!" sentiments...but the truth is, I'm broken. I'm weak. I'm imperfect. Yes, I have a ton of admirable qualities, and I'm probably even better at a lot of things than I give myself credit for, but in the end...I will never be enough. I will never be good enough to not let people down. I will never perfect enough to avoid disappointing myself. I will never be the best at all the things. I will never have family and friends satisfied by my every move. There will be days when I'm at the top of my game, and days when I should have just stayed in bed, but in either case- it still won't be good enough in comparison to the perfect standard that Christ has set. But because of Him. I don't have to achieve it. Try as I might, I'll never set myself aside as often as should or love people as well as I should (I'm pretty sure He doesn't care about the whole skinny part...) but it's ok. Because He is enough. And in my weakness, He will be made more. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

And so I boast: 
I am not enough.
I will never be enough.
Thank God.