Roller coaster of love

Last Saturday, Miller turned six weeks old. It's a pretty big milestone for a lot of reasons- it can typically be a bit of a developmental turning point when babies turn from little blobs into...well, little humans. But also significant, is that six weeks marks the halfway point in my maternity leave. I'm trying really hard not to get too worked up over the passage of time during this newborn phase, but I can't help but have some anxiety about how fast this phase is going. 

It all reminds me of a roller coaster- but not for the typical ups and downs of parenting reasons.  
You see, pregnancy is an uphill climb. You feel every single click click click of the ascent as you fill with anticipation of the ride ahead. Then there is a quick pause as your heart stands still, and you reach desperately for something to hold on to during the quick and slightly terrifying decent. 

After nine long months, you're handed a baby, and you're off on the wild ride. 

But quickly you reach the base of the first hill, and you realize that while you didn't fully know what you were in for, and you're still a bit scared out of your wits, you're actually also loving it. By then it's just in time to start another climb- this time with the momentum of the first hill to help. 

Right now, I feel like we've made it over that first hump, felt the exhilarating rush of the steep drop, and worked ourselves up another hill as we've fought to get adjusted and figure out exactly what this 3 Kid Coaster has in store for us. For me, the six week point of maternity leave is like the momentary pause of that second peak...just enough time to look around, glimpse the track I've already traveled, and realize the ride is going to be over before I know it. 

And just like a roller coaster, there's no way to slow down. I can't go back and relive the rush of that initial drop, and I know I'll never be able to take it all in fast enough to remember every bit of the twisty-turny, topsy-turvy course we're on. And looking for the end of the track won't do anything but distract me from the ride.

So instead, I'll force my hands up in the air, feel the wind in my hair, and scream my lungs out, soaking up the exhilarating mix of joy and fear that I could only dream of when I got in line for this crazy ride.

It's all downhill from here, and I'm convinced that is the very best part. 

P.S. Dustin: don't be too shocked if after the ride, I look at you with wild eyes, high on adrenaline and exclaim: Let's do that again! ;)

Photo credit: Shutter & Glass Photography

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