{31 things} Day 19: Listen

...Originally Written June 2012....

When I had Piper, I expected to gain a few super human mom-powers. You know, spot-on intuition, a healing touch, the ability to find that sock you thought was gone forever... But the one thing people kept warning me of was Mom Hearing. The ability to detect my infant's cry for fifty yards. Or more accurately, the inability to ignore even so much as a whimper from my babe, regardless of distance or time. I was told to say goodbye to sleep...at least for the next few years...because even if Piper did give us a few hours rest, I would surely hear every twitch, sniffle, and coo, making it impossible to sleep soundly. Other moms told me that no matter how deep a sleeper I once was, something changes when you become a mom, and baby cries seem to run a direct link into your being, creating a hyper awareness that is impossible to ignore.

Welp. Maybe my mom-ears are broken, but I just don't seem to have that gift. (or curse.) Piper is still a ways off from sleeping through the night (she's getting there...oh so slowly but surely), but I have maintained the ability to sleep through a racket, allowing me to catch a few blissful winks of sleep even when she's um..slightly discontent. Now don't panic, and think I'm ignoring my baby's cries. We sleep one room over from her, and I still put the baby monitor right next to my pillow, so I'm instantly aware of when she wakes up. But if we evaluate the noise, and determine its something she can work out on her own, then I'm able (and willing!) to roll over and go back to sleep until the next round when she actually does need me.

But while I haven't become excessively attuned to my babies noises, motherhood (or perhaps more specifically- being the mom of a light sleeper) have caused me to become hyper aware of other noises- mostly during Piper's (few, blessed) naps. I swear the world is never as loud as it is the second her head hits that crib mattress. It's as if every truck, bus, conversation, siren, and floorboard creak wait for that precise moment to make themselves known. And each time I hear brakes squealing, people shouting, or  doors slamming, I have a knee-jerk, visceral reaction. Something inside me instantly snaps, and I just want to shut. that. thing. up. Heaven forbid you drop so much as a piece of paper while my girl is trying to sleep- I will glare at you as if you had poked her right in the half-shut eyelid. I'm not always proud of how dramatically this affects me, but my inner momma bear apparently feels very strongly about letting my baby get some much needed rest (or perhaps it's also a self-preservation instinct, in an effort to have 30 minutes of peace to protect some of my sanity). I never wanted to be such a fun squashing, finger wagging, shusher...But if it means my baby gets some shuteye, and I get an hour to myself once or twice a day, I'd be willing to build a forcefield around that kid.

{31 Things} Day 14: View

Early morning view from last week: Dustin's...Mine. 

Hard to say which one is worse.

...The fuzzy top of my daughter's head as she snuggles up for breakfast in the faint light of dawn...

...An unoccupied pillow and mess of sheets that mean Dustin is taking the early shower/Piper shift...

...Dew covered leaves out my bathroom window that serve as a double check of the weather...

...Dull white tile, reminding me a renovation can't be far away...

...Stacks of neutral t's and piles of silver bangles, waiting their turn in the outfit rotation...

...Matching faces, as Dustin and Piper spend the morning babbling together...

...A big two toothed grin- her way of saying "bye mama! Have a good day!"...

...The steely skyline of a bygone era, the peaceful shores of a river, and the slow moving train cars I pass on my morning commute...

...A dumpster heap of a desk, covered with literal piles of work spilling over from day to day...

...Faces, of coworkers eager to start the day, or catch up on weekend gossip. Screens- of my laptop, monitor and phone- all blinging with notifications to attend to (or waste time on)...

...The blank walls of a conference room three times a day while I pump milk for my girl...

...The bottom of my lunch bag, after I've ravaged through all my snacks too soon...

...Window panes, framing 3D realizations of my once fuzzy ideas...

...The clock. Constantly checking the time as another day flies by...

...Taillights, as I sit in traffic on the way home...

...Clutter. Tasks to complete, laundry to do, dishes to wash all stare at me, vying for attention...

...My family's smiles, full of food as we share a meal and our day's events...

...A tower of blocks, a stack of books, a pj footed baby as we wind down for the day...

...A guilty pleasure or much needed zone out break courtesy of pirated online tv...

...My messy reflection, which has taken a beating by day's end...

...The dark walls of my bedroom, illuminated slightly by the green glow of the bedside monitor, signaling the babe is peacefully asleep...

{31 Things} Day 13: Chores

The word "chores" may bring to mind something kids do to earn their allowance, but truthfully, I'm learning that chores are actually an unavoidable part of being an adult. I love a clean house (you'd be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't) but I really just don't love cleaning (again, not exactly a rare sentiment). I thought it would grow on me as I emerged from my lazy teenage years, but alas I'm still waiting for my inner neat freak to show herself. I'm beginning to doubt she's in there...

One thing I do love is to organize and sort. If there's a task that enables me to make order quickly out of chaos, then I'm a happy girl. So I embrace jobs like emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry and tidying up and sorting messes into piles to be put away. The catch for me is that everything needs to have its "place" or the organization just turns into shifting junk from one temporary spot to another. When something doesn't have a home- or outgrows its designated area- I struggle to keep up with the chaos, leading to a losing battle against the clutter.

After Dustin and I got married, I quickly learned that while there was now twice the mess, there were also double the hands to take care of it- and I got the bonus of marrying a husband who is not only cleaner, but also more hardworking than I am. (I think I make up for it in other areas...like being so charming he forgets that he pretty much got the short end of the marriage stick. Love you babe!) There are a fair amount of chores (grocery shopping, cooking, laundry, dishes) that we more or less split, and a couple jobs (dusting, vacuuming) that we both avoid until absolutely necessary- i.e. until company is coming and our house has become embarrassing. But for a lot of tasks I strongly believe in a division of labor, and have become an advocate of Boy Jobs and Girl Jobs. A quick selection of tasks:

Boy Jobs

Taking out the trash

Yard work

Paying bills

Cleaning the bathroom

Taking care of the cars (oil changes etc.)

Killing stink bugs

Washing baby bottles 

Girl Jobs

Making the grocery list

Buying/sending cards and presents

Feeding the baby (not exactly a chore, but is the fair counterpoint to all that bottle washing)

Ummm...probably some other really important things

You know...stuff. That I do. 

Party planning?

So, yeah. In my head this system seems like an easy way to divide and conquer household tasks, but when it comes down to writing the list I realize that perhaps it's less Boy vs. Girl, and more Things I Don't Like Doing vs. Things I Do That Barely Count as Chores. I also realize that I'm extremely lucky to have a husband that humors my cleaning excuses ("I can't do laundry- I'm scared of the basement!" "You have to mow the lawn- I'm allergic to grass!") and pitches in without complaint. (Truth be told I'm probably not quite as lazy as this list suggests, but Dustin does definitely deserves some sort of medal for putting up with me sometimes.)

Having a baby has lead to a whole new world of to-do lists, as well as an updated standard of clean. On the one hand, some things have just had to slide a bit, as we focus on bigger priorities, but on the other, Piper generates more messes than the two of us combined, and her tiny curious hands (and mouth) demands we pay attention to cleanliness in ways we could have previously avoided. Recently, I've been thinking about hiring someone to come help out a bit. I'm torn on the idea because it seems so spoiled and I hate to spend money on something I could (or should!) do myself. But at the same time, it's about evaluating what I'd rather spend my time on at this stage of our lives. I'm often inclined to think that working full time takes me away from Piper enough, so weekends shouldn't be filled with endless mountains of chores and cleaning checklists. {Spoiler alert...after I wrote this we went ahead and bit the bullet, and hired a woman to come clean twice a month. More like spoiled alert.}

But for now we continue to muddle through. The workload ebs and flows. Sometimes we are on top of things, with a relatively tidy house, a well stocked fridge, and closets full of clean clothes...And sometimes it's a miracle if we can find three clean bottles for Piper's daycare bag, and get out the door without tripping over a week's worth of clutter. Real Simple isn't exactly breaking down my door asking for my household management tips, but for now, that's ok. After all, it's only about five years before Piper's going to want an allowance, and you'd better believe we're going to make her earn her keep around here (I kid! Kinda...)

{31 Things} Day 11: Nourish

For the most part, I am an extremely predictable eater. Mostly because I have a tight group of favorite foods that I’m happy to eat over and over again, and partly because it’s a lot easier to put most of my food decisions on autopilot. I think I come by this honestly, as I can only remember about ten meals being served at my dad’s house during my entire childhood. We had a tight schedule: Friday was Wendy’s (kids meal for me, classic single with cheese, no onions no mustard for him), Saturday morning was toast, or pancakes if we were feeling fancy, dinner was Kraft Mac and Cheese- maybe with a hot dog. Sunday breakfast was usually cereal- kid favorites like Special K or Product 19- and then dinner was Tuna Helper. (During lent the dinners were rotated so tuna night fell on a Friday). I don’t specifically remember lunches, but I know there were a LOT of grilled cheeses, with a bologna sandwich thrown in there for variety. Before you retroactively contact child services, let me say that while this is how I remember it, my brain probably stored only a kiddie version of the actual truth, so I’m sure there were other foods- such as Neapolitan ice cream, and strawberry shortcake- that I’m forgetting. There might have even been a vegetable or two thrown in over the years. (I kid- there definitely were veggies- we had three favorites from the frozen section, but they’re still veggies.)

Dustin has similar memories of childhood meals (though his revolve around Stouffer’s lasagna, ground meat and gravy, and something he calls “Sh*t on a Shingle”.) So it’s not exactly a surprise that we have a set routine when it comes to eating. With about 5% variance, here is my daily food intake:

• Breakfast: banana, Activia light yogurt (four rotating flavors), granola bar. In the winter I swapped in a cup of instant oatmeal and if Dustin gets ambitious and the pantry allows, he’ll make me a piece of toast with cream cheese and cinnamon & sugar. (though this was mostly an occurrence during my pregnancy) 
• Lunch: lean cuisine and a bag of veggies (bell peppers, baby carrots, cucumbers, snap or snow peas). 
• Snacks: red seedless grapes, raw almonds, a gala apple, and crackers and cheese (again, only if we’ve been diligent about going to the store, and Dustin had ample time to pack “fancy lunches”)  

Dustin’s menu is pretty similar, but his breakfast is a protein shake, and he swaps the lean cuisine for a salad- either homemade or bought from the company café. About once a week we’ll each get sick of whatever we packed, and “treat ourselves” to a lunch out- grabbing sandwiches at Subway or hitting up Qdoba for Taco Tuesdays.

The big question mark to our dietary day is dinner. As much as I like consistency during the day, I crave variety at night, but that requires a level of planning and effort that I find it difficult to muster up on a regular basis. We’ve tried to get better at meal planning, but our inconsistent schedule, spotty grocery shopping, and pure laziness when it comes to cooking, makes it tough to have a freshly prepared dinner on the table each night. The challenge is that by the time we’re both home from work, and Piper is fed, it’s already getting late, so dinners need to be quick and easy. We also have to resist the urge to skip cooking in favor of fast food, pizza or take out. Our current goal is to plan three meals a week- figuring that each one will feed us for two nights, allowing us a break from cooking every other night. We have a master calendar with categories lined up (like pasta, slow cooker, or sandwiches), and then we match up choices from my overflowing recipe pile. So far it’s been a mild success. We’re definitely cooking more (or at least Dustin is!) and we’re getting better at using up the food we buy (nothing is worse than spending a ton of money at the grocery store, only to have all the food go bad because you spent a ton more money eating out instead). Meal planning and prep is definitely one of those necessary evils of being a grown up, but if we’re diligent, maybe Piper will remember us for something more than our weekly quesadillas.

{31 Things} Day 10: Evening

Something about even just the word "evening" is so calm and relaxing. We often have a lot to do after work, so our evenings aren't always restful, but usually we try to squeeze in a least a little quiet time together. I crave a break between a crazy afternoon and a sleepy night. Ideally, we aim to protect a bit of special evening time to hang out and wind down before settling in for the night.

Our routine isn't set in stone, but we do have a typical pattern for weeknights. Work has to wrap up by five-fifteen for whoever is picking up piper. I'd like to say we take turns, but more often than not, Dustin is the one who can slip away first. I try to follow shortly, leaving by six. Piper usually needs a nap first thing- her nap schedule at daycare is still all over the place so she tends to be super tired when we get her. She'll sleep for an hour or less, and we'll use that time to tidy up, wash bottles, and make dinner. By seven she's usually up and ready for to eat. I nurse her upstairs (my bed has become our designated nursing spot) and then we head down to eat dinner as a family. I tend to plan the meals, but Dustin does the bulk of the cooking, which is awesome. It's so nice to come down the stairs with a full, happy baby, to be greeted with a delicious meal.

Growing up, my family ate together almost every night, and it's a tradition that is important to me. Piper may not know the difference yet, but I like setting up a routine of gathering around the table each evening to break bread (or at least pizza!) and talk about our days. We've been introducing Piper to food, so she typically noshes on something while we eat our meal. We're trying to let her feed herself if possible, so that we're free to focus on our own food (rather than having to spoon her mush while our dinner gets cold). If we're lucky she'll stay content in her seat until we're done. If we're not so lucky then one of us holds her while the other finishes eating.

After dinner we have some time to play. Depending on how messy dinner was (meaning if Piper fed herself) we might have bathtime. She’s really learning to love the bath, which makes it a lot more fun. We divide and conquer usually, with one of us scrubbing Piper, and the other cleaning up a bit more around the house (Dustin usually takes her, while I buzz around folding clothes, and clearing clutter). After she’s dried off and jammy-‘ed up, we try to squeeze in some storytime. Her attention and patience is typically wearing thin by this point so we’re lucky if we make it through a whole book, but I love snuggling up in our bed, even if she’s more of a wiggle worm than a bookworm.

Bedtime for Bonzo (an old saying my dad was fond of) is around eight-thirty. She’s getting better at going to sleep, so we’re able to lay her down fairly easily, with only a few minutes of crying before she’s off in dreamland. We try to wrap up any chores- washing bottles or remaining dishes, bringing up clean laundry, etc.- and the night (or what’s left of it) is ours! Typically we’ll watch an episode or two of TV online, or we’ll each surf the internet for a while (blogging for me, Eagles website for him)- but it’s usually not more than an hour before we can’t keep our eyes open anymore. I miss the days of staying up late indulging in milkshakes and full nights of Must-See TV or similar guilty pleasures. We both struggle to feel like we have any free time to ourselves, and though we could probably make better use of this late evening hour, after a long day of work, it’s a challenge to find the motivation to do anything but veg-out. It may not always be the most productive use of time, but a nightcap of couch snuggles and no-brainer comedy (or even more brainless Bachelor episode) is fine by me. After all, there will always be more chores to do and errands to run…That’s why God created Saturdays.

{31 Things} Day 7: Work

“Worky work, busy bee!!”

Dustin and I constantly repeat that saying- a silly little quote from an old commercial- to each other. Sometimes when we are actually so very busy, but also when we just want to give each other a hard time about being too abrupt, or obsessed with piddly work details.

But the truth is, since I went back to work in February, I have indeed been a busy busy bee. I have always kept up a hectic (if not breakneck) pace at work, and one of my main fears with returning to the grind was that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done. Or more specifically, that I wouldn’t be able to get everything done within a reasonable number of work hours. And it turns out I was somewhat right to be worried. There is definitely an eb-and-flow to the workload at my office, but as of late it seems to be stuck on flow. A “no filter, wide mouth, drown everything in its path” FLOW. It’s not exactly anything new, but previously I was a bit more willing to make the sacrifice to arrive early, stay late, and generally run myself ragged one to two weeks out of every month. But now that there is a little lady in my life, I’m much more hesitant to squander all her waking hours at the office. After a full week of leaving Dustin to the drop off and pick up duty at daycare, including a few days where I only saw her to feed her in the wee hours of the night, the guilt was beginning to pile up. (I stacked it right on top of the rest of the pile currently crushing my spirit- a mountain of unfinished projects, and neglected messes).

But for all the negatives that come with my job, there are a whole lot of positives as well. Being a working mom is a choice for me at this point (sure, we’d miss my salary if I stayed home, but I’m not exactly forced into keeping my career), and it’s a choice I truly don’t regret. My brain is a quirky little monster that requires a constant stream of inspiration and projects to survive. I’m a thinker, a talker, and a do-er, and my mind craves creative stimulation the way my body craves Coke Slushies. (Read: frequently and desperately.) I adored the time I was able to spend with Piper, but I haven’t doubted for a moment that going back to work was the right decision for me. My passion for what I do is a double edged sword if I allow my drive to overshadow other areas of my life, but for the most part I’m lucky to have a creative outlet that constantly teaches me and forces me to grow.  Even in my dark times of being overwhelmed, I’ve never lost sight of the fact that I’m living the dream- my industrial-designing, problem-solving, fashion-producing, budget-balancing, art-creating dream. I have a very cool job, at a very cool company, with some very cool people. And bonus: they pay me. We should all be so lucky.

{31 Things} Day 6: Things

(If you're wondering where days 4 and 5 went...First off- congratulations for being even more on top of it than I am. Things are a bit out of order here because entries 4 and 5 don't exist yet. I'm making efforts to backtrack, but in the meantime, let's keep on keeping on...)

1. Age: 28. I think. I tend to forget. As the numbers get higher they seem to get more difficult to distinguish from each other.
2. Favorite part of my day: putting piper back in her crib after a late night feed. I love her floppy little body...So tired she can't quite hold her head up, but just awake enough to hold on. She nuzzles in, lays her little face on my shoulder, and makes tiny little piglet snuffles. I nuzzle her in return, taking a minute to breathe in her delicious baby scent, and feel the warmth of her fuzzy head on my cheek. No matter how tired I am, I would freeze time to stay in that moment forever.
3. Loving: The start of summer. The days are getting longer and warmer. Our evenings and weekends are spent on walks, or lazing around outside (or in Dustin’s case- doing yard work, but I’m not sure he’s “loving” that.) We’re as busy as ever, but the increases in flip flops, open car windows, and popsicles on the deck allows me to relax- even for brief moments inside the madness of our schedules.
4. Longing for: More dancing. I’ve been taking a dance class since January, and I’m really starting to love it. I switched from hip hop to jazz, and though I was worried it would be way too hard for me, it’s actually been a great growing experience. The stretching is good for my tight, overworked muscles, and the class is just difficult enough to challenge me without being totally overwhelming. For an hour each week I force the stress and busyness of the day out of my mind, and focus just on movement. I immerse myself in the moment, and try to ignore my limits or mistakes and just enjoy swirling around to the music. Unfortunately there is no Summer session, so I’ll have to get my fix somewhere else. I’m hoping to work some dance in somehow, even if it’s goofing around with Piper, or at least catching some episodes of So You Think You Can Dance!
5. Inspired by: Other mamas. I love to see and hear about the fun things moms are doing with their families. I’ve been reading the blog Enjoying the Small Things, and have been so inspired by the fun, creative, and simple things mom Kelle does with her girls. As Piper grows I hope to incorporate a little bit of magic into our days- having “spa days” painting our toes in the bathroom, dreaming up stories together, or taking moonlit walks.
6. Dreaming of: The beach! We’re a little over a week away from our first big family vacation, and I can’t wait to feel the sand between my toes (and see it between Piper’s little piggy toes!) We’ve never gone on a trip with all of my siblings before, so the mix of people will be interesting. I expect a little drama, a lot of laughs, and a ton of memories (and probably a million photos).
7. Needing: more sleep. And more hours in the day so I could do it all...and still sleep.
8. Navigating: Being a working mom. I’m currently caught in the age-old crisis of being torn between two worlds. I want to give 100% at work and at home, but no matter how hard I try I end up feeling like I’m coming up short both places. I feel the constant battle between my creative brain and my “mama heart” as they vie to be the top priority.
9. Struggling with: Wanting to have and do it all. (see above. And above that.) I dream big dreams about all the things I want to try, or write, or make, or eat, or read, and end up scattered in too many directions and spreading myself too thin. But I struggle to say no- not necessarily to others, but to myself. I’m not the best at editing my ideas, and my enthusiasm tends to get the best of me as I pile on more, more, more until I inevitably and predictably crack. Usually the result is a brief overwhelmed tearfest, followed by a dramatic cut back on activities, only to repeat the cycle immediately. Maybe I’ll learn someday…
10. Knowing: That I am blessed. So profoundly and wonderfully blessed. This season of life can be so challenging at times; so much is new, confusing, and exhausting. But there is still so much joy as we muddle our way through the beginnings of forming our little family, and I know we’ll look back on this time fondly, even if it’s with a touch of thankfulness that pieces of it are over.

{31 Things} Day 3: Read

I'm a book worm…always have been. I think my mom is to thank for instilling a love of reading in me as a kid. We went to library constantly when I was little, especially on those long summer days that just begged for a good book. I still remember the bags they'd give you to tote your books home; I would stuff mine with as many volumes as I could fit, and the drawstrings would dig into my little hands as I lugged my treasures home.

I loved all types of reading- SSR (Sustained Silent Reading) period at school, curled up in the coat closet with my current volume of The Berenstein Bears; Teddy Ruxpin Storytime, cuddled up against my furry friend, following along with his adventures in Boggley Woods; Read Aloud, listening to my teacher telling tales of Narnia while I picked at the rubber label on the back of my Keds; Road trip reading, tearing through a Judy Bloom novel or two, glancing at the scenery whizzing by; Library Day, huddle up on beanbag chairs with my elementary school friends flipping through back issues of Cat Fancy magazine…But my favorite was probably at night, staying up way past my bedtime with a flashlight under the covers. I made a habit of falling asleep with a book in my hand as I challenged myself to get through just one more chapter for whichever Sweet Valley Twins editions I was currently obsessed with.

As I grew up, I maintained my appetite for reading, transitioning my focus mostly to required titles for school, or blowing through endless piles of magazines in my free time (In high school my closet was split about 50/50 between clothes, and Vogue). And though as an adult, it’s a bit tougher to fit in as much reading as I used to (that pesky job cuts into my page turning time) I do still love to read. Magazines are still a top choice- my desk houses a rotating tower of editions, stacked high enough to pose a danger to passers-by. I’m also in two bookclubs, which is proving to be too much at times- I only actually finish about half the books- but I like the encouragement to check out new books, and enjoy discussing them with friends. And Dustin will attest that I still like to read in bed…though he doesn’t love dealing with the glow of my book light.

There are a few aspects of my childhood that I desperately hope to recreate in Piper’s life, and one of them is definitely a fondness of reading. We designed her nursery around books, hopeful that the right environment will foster her literary love. We are already exposing her to the written word, flipping through board books, and aiming to read a story together every night. I can’t wait until we can snuggle up in her bed and listen to her sweet little voice narrate my old library loves back to me. What a happy ending...

{31 Things} Day 2: Morning Routine

I’ve never been a full on morning person- I don’t necessarily spring out of bed with a smile on my face, and a song in my heart- but after a brief warm up time I’m able to manage. I blame it less on being a grump, and more on the fact that I am naturally a bit of a night owl, and require a good seven to eight hours of sleep a night. By default it’s difficult for me to hit the ground running at an extremely early hour. Before having Piper I roused as late as possible on weekdays, sleeping until eight, to still make it out of the house by eight thirty. I built in time for at least two hits of the snooze button, and often climbed into the car with a wet ponytail, my breakfast and makeup in hand. Now that there’s a baby in the mix, the morning routine has changed dramatically. The AM tasks are multiplied, (one more mouth to feed and body to clothe) and everything seems to take longer (especially if one of those mouths throws up on one- or more- of those clothed bodies.) But after a few months of stumbling along, we have a fairly predictable morning pattern:

• Piper wakes up around six-thirty. Typically she isn’t screaming, she just babbles in her crib, thumping her limbs around on the mattress to let me know she’s ready for breakfast (As a result, my alarm has been rendered all but useless).
• Dustin jumps in the shower first while I feed Piper. (sometimes he gets up before her just to have enough time to get through his routine solo before being saddled with a spectator). I’m sure he’d love a little more sleep too, but he makes the sacrifice to get up early so I don't have to. He’s always been quicker and easier to rise, probably a left-over habit from his teaching days. Early in our marriage he had to be up crazy early, so he’d get dressed in the dark or in the hallway to avoid disturbing me. That’s love I tell you. 
• Piper takes about 15-20 minutes to eat, so during that time I fiddle with my phone- getting a jump on email, browsing around on Instagram or Facebook, or checking the weather.
• When she finishes eating, she’s ready for a diaper change and fresh clothes. If we time it right, Dustin is at least partially dressed and can switch to Piper duty (or dooty). I’m often consulted on the outfit choice, either picking it out before hand, or at least getting a veto-vote if she strolls into the bathroom looking crazy. 
• While Dustin gets her ready, I get in the shower. I try to brainstorm my outfit while I wash up, as I don’t really have time to rely on trial and error. I base my hairstyle on what time I need to get to the office. If I have time- down and curly. If it’s tight- a half-dry ponytail with a quick flat iron to the bangs. 
• During my primping, Dustin is downstairs with Piper, prepping for the day. After a few months of staying home with her, I consider it a luxury to have time to get ready by myself, so I don’t take this time for granted. He makes lunches for both of us, and washes any bottles or breastpump parts that didn’t get cleaned the night before. He usually plays some music while they work and I can hear them singing and goofing around while I get ready. I love to listen to their “conversations”, and get a kick out of imagining what it will be like in a couple years when she’s chattering right back. 
• After teeth brushing, and maybe a couple of quick iphone pics, we gather our bags and head out, usually around eight. 
• We alternate who takes her to school, based on our work schedule. Whoever has the most flexibility does the daycare drop off. I like to do it as much as possible because I’m usually not able to scoot out in time to pick her up at the end of the day. I actually think the drop off is kind of fun. She’s not at an age where she minds me leaving too much, so I get to see all the kids and slip out quietly without too much fuss. 
• Then it’s just a twenty minute or so ride into work. I have kept the bad habit of doing my makeup and eating in the car on my way in (my breakfast is always a banana, a granola bar, and a yogurt- I usually save the yogurt until I get to my desk). Someday I’ll grow up to be a responsible adult and drag myself out of bed fifteen minutes earlier to avoid a hazardous commute, but for now any moment of sleep is precious, and worth the risk of smearing banana on my car seat. 
• I wrap up the pre-work routine, pulling in the parking garage between eight and nine. And in a short 22 hours, we repeat the cycle.

{31 Things} Day 1: Jewelry

When I first committed to the 31 Things course I knew I was in for a challenge- I often can't manage to find time to write once a week, let alone every day. And indeed it has proven to be a bit of a struggle to get each day's entry done (Today is day twenty. I currently have about eight written.) But I'm trying. Every morning I check my email for that day's assignment, and attempt to spend at least a few minutes outlining my thoughts (usually while feeding Piper or pumping. At this stage, those times are pretty much my only chance to sit, so I try to make them count- even if it is only a few minutes at a time.) I was torn on if I would share them here, and I'm still not sure if I'm going to post them all (assuming I write them all!) but knowing that I'm already in the weeds with these entries, I don't really see any new blog fodder coming outside of these 31. So while I continue to plug away, here is my first entry. (and forgive the lack of photo...In theory those should be taken in real time, but I think I'm going to have to do a big photography blitz at the end.)

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I love jewelry. Practically every girl says that...but I really do love jewelry. I'm an equal opportunist when it comes to jewelry loving though, as my collection runs the gamete between (a very few) high quality simple pieces, and (a ton of) silly over the top cheapies. I'm not impressed by price- for me it's all about the item itself. But even then, my love spans the spectrum. I appreciate the beauty of a simple pendant, and prefer the understated elegance of plain stud earrings, but most of the time I have to admit that I'm a bit of a "more is more" girl. In fact, I have to respectfully disagree with Ms. Coco Chanel: When I look at myself in the mirror before I leave the house, I typically put on one more piece of jewelry. What can I say? I love some sparkle.

I remember as a kid being fascinated with my mom and grandma's wedding rings (my mom has an emerald set between six diamond baguettes, while my grandmother's was a round solitaire diamond encircled in a swooping, filigree band). I would constantly try them on in church and loved to draw little sketches of the stones. My mom usually wore simple pieces, always gold, and my grandma never went anywhere without her plain gold tennis bracelet with the tiny hexagon charm (it was actually a medical bracelet for her diabetes...but what style!) But as much as I admired their simple taste, it was more dramatic things that caught my eye. I loved to see my aunt's jewelry- she seemed to have a ring for every finger- all silver from her time in Mexico. And I still remember my utter fascination with a stranger in a tanning salon (why I was there as a child is another story for another day) when I saw she had piercings all the way around her ears. There must have been twenty tiny hoops and I vowed I would pierce my own ears as many times as my parents would let me; which actually turned out to be quite a few. My first set came when I was an infant, to distract from my distinct lack of hair. I got my second holes in second grade- a source of utter jealousy among most of my friends. And from high school through college I added three more- single piercings in various cartilage crevices in my ears. I may not have literally emulated that White Snake video reject I so admired previously, but I did manage to adorn myself fairly liberally. I hesitate to mention the crazy whim of getting my eyebrow pierced as a high school junior (I want to stand proudly and tell you that it was so cool! But I think we all know that's not true. I at least had the good sense to remove it after a year or so...)

But thankfully my taste in jewelry has evolved over the years, so while high school was a never ending parade of tacky silver trinkets, BFF necklaces, and a personal favorite- a Japanese coin strung on a chain, I slowly amassed a larger collection of pieces that I won't be ashamed of later on. And now I'm finding a groove with my personal style- I tend to gravitate towards simple dressing with statement jewelry. I have an endless parade of nearly identical heather grey tops, but I like to mix up my look with a unique necklace (most likely large, and possibly crafted myself) or an armful (ok, two armfuls) of bangles (I might be addicted to that jingling noise they make). I have silly little rings I picked up at Forever 21, dramatic cuff bracelets that my grandmother got from Mexico and a couple of tiny Tiffany's necklaces. I love the mix of things, and how layers of jewelry add unique stories and history to an otherwise plain outfit.

Recently keepsake jewelry has been becoming more important. I had a couple pieces of "nice" jewelry, before Piper was born, but since then I've gotten a few things that are simple, but mean a lot to me. I have a plain gold necklace with a "P" engraved on it, a silver ring with Piper's monogram and a teeny tiny bean necklace to remind me of my little bean. It's all a little cliche, but at least it’s not a “#1 Mom” locket. I love the idea of passing things on to Piper, and while not all of my collection is exactly heirloom quality, I hope she gets a kick out of sifting through my baubles someday. My grandma had a TON of jewelry- it was all over the board too- lots of artsy statements that she made herself, a bunch of costume stuff, and then some real pieces she and my grandpa picked up on their travels. Although we spent a lot of time together when I was young, we were never super close, so it’s neat to share an unexpected bond over similar taste in accessories.

Out of my rotating grab bag of gems, there are only two things I wear every day, and each was a gift from Dustin. The first is a pair of princess cut diamond earrings he got me years ago. He gave them to me in celebration of "my day": a made up holiday that marked the milestone of when he had been with me the longest out of anyone he had dated. That was such an important marker for me back then, but six years, a wedding, and one child later, it seems like a pretty silly occasion. But I still love my simple studs (and the sometimes-simple stud who gave them to me), and like the occasional reminder of how our love has lasted…but changed…over the years.

The second piece of daily jewelry, predictably, is my wedding ring. Unconventionally, I actually picked out my own ring – an idea I thought I liked at the time, but always kind of regretted later. It’s a bit of a double edged sword though, because I’m pretty picky, and have a reputation as the queen of returning gifts, so we both thought that if I chose my own ring, I would end up with exactly what I wanted. Part of the problem though is that for some reason I got it in my head that wanting anything too big or flashy was shallow, and I wanted to seem “above that” to Dustin. (A ridiculous and unnecessary mind game that I blame on my young age, and our very young love. Turns out getting engaged at nineteen to a man you’ve known for three months leads to some silly challenges. But again- that’s another story for another day.) So I forced myself into something small and simple to prove it wasn't a big deal to me. I don’t think about it much anymore…my ring is beautiful, and after all this time, there are a million things that are more important symbols of our relationship. But if I think back on it, I do wish I could have just been honest with myself and him about what I actually loved and let him pick something out. Since then he’s talked occasionally about getting me a new ring but there have always been plenty of other things to spend money on instead. I’m not clamoring for a replacement, but I’m also not opposed to a surprise anniversary gift down the road. Maybe someday. But for now, I’ll pile on my token trinkets, clasp my first-baby bean charm around my necklace and jingle merrily along.

31 Things

After the wild success that was Photo a Day April, and then the big dreams but mediocre follow-through that is currently Photo a Day May, I've decided to ramp it up a bit. (Yes, you read that right...I'm currently failing at my commitment to take one photo a day with my "big girl camera", and subsequently have decided to make an even bigger commitment. That is just the counter-intuitive, over zealous, go big or go home, way I roll.) My new focus: a 31 day writing challenge.

I really enjoy writing, I love "memory keeping" (blogs, journals, photo albums) and I'm a sucker for a class, so when I heard about the online course 31 Things, I was sold.

photo credit: Ali Edwards

The basic idea is to respond to a different writing and photo prompt (based on a single word) each day for 31 days in a row, ultimately culminating in a month of thoughts, stories, snapshots and memories on topics that might otherwise get lost in the blurry shuffle of everyday life. I'm excited about the prospect of being forced to write more, and think differently, but I'm also a little nervous that I've bitten off more than I can chew (again!) and will end up bogged down in a mess of my own making.

But I'm going to try to stay positive. After all, the whole reason I signed up was so I could stretch a bit as a writer, but also simply because it's something I thought I would like doing. So I'm going to do my best, keep it light and strive to enjoy the process of telling my stories. One by one by thirty one.