Finley's First Fete

In honor of Fin's birthday- one week away!- I wanted to share our first "birthday" celebration we held for her. This post was originally written September 15, 2013. (And finally finished last night. If we're lucky, her actual birthday will be documented in the same calendar year in which it occurs. No promises.)

This weekend we had a special little gathering at our house...to celebrate this little lady's first birthday!

Confused?

Well, it's a little tradition we've latched on to, marking the milestone of "9 months in, 3 months out". So though we only met Miss Fin three months ago, she's been with us for a whole year now! And since I need almost no excuse to throw a party, this seemed as good a reason as any to host a get together of our nearest and dearest.

And though it's a fun milestone to celebrate, I had to remind myself it's not her actual birthday, so any amount of effort in planning a party would be overkill (you know, even more overkill than elaborate parties are for real first birthdays. Excessive on top of excessive). It made the most sense to host it at our house vs. going out for a meal, because then the older kids could play (Fin is amassing quite the clan of older "cousin-friends"). So I agreed to keep it low key, and we planned a "Sunday of Sundaes". Just a few close friends, and a whole lot of sugar. I figure it's best to keep it casual, especially when the guest of honor might not even wear pants.

It was pretty much madness as we wrangled babies and toddlers who I swear were babies five minutes ago. So we didn't get a ton of pictures, but we managed to prioritize a few pics of the "birthday" girl before she fell asleep or puked on her outfit. (for you sentimental folks- it was a dress I designed, and her sister wore on her special un-birthday too.)

 Her hands kill me. Not to mention her face. 

 Seriously. The faces.

She was wide-eyed as ever, and tolerated the chaos and attention well...until...she didn't.

But her fury was short lived and she crashed peacefully on her daddy.

It was a bit more hectic than her sister's party, just over a year and a half ago. By the end we had a living room covered in toys, the boys were out back playing some sort of game they dubbed "smashball", Piper was crowded around a never-discarded Home Depot bucket with her friends, forming a subway-style toddler band, and we were organizing a KFC run for those still in attendance. So there wasn't much time for waxing poetically about what this community has meant to us, and no formal toast thanking them for being the net that gets us through the craziest parts of this life we've been blessed with.

But as they all scooped up their babies, or even just someone's baby, chatted between sticky bites of shared melty ice cream, and helped keep most of the popcorn chicken from ending up on the rug, I'm pretty sure they got it. We couldn't do this without them, and are beyond grateful to have this family of faith alongside us for the wildest of rides.

Happy Birthday, Fin. You are so very loved.

Show Your Real: Lindsey T.

Time for another Show Your Real post...from another Lindsey! One of the things I love so much about this series, is connecting with people who believe in this idea of transparency and community...and sometimes believing in it even more than I do! Lindsey is a constant example of what it looks like to live thoughtfully. She doesn't take decisions lightly, partly because she feels so deeply. I'm so thankful to count her as a friend. 

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I was honored when Courtney asked me to do Show Your Real. It’s always been a concept that has resounded with me. I think you can’t really be known or loved without showing your real. The more I try to hide my real, it seems, the more bad stuff happens in me - it seems like I divide myself between the front I hold up and the actual me. Not showing your real is just a form of dishonesty to me. I truly believe that others can only see Christ in me, when they see my real -- how can they see Christ’s work, when I just try to show I’m perfect already, without being in need of Him? The irony of this post is that it has taken me forever to write it because I am (hypocritically) worried about what others will think of it, instead of simply showing my real.

 

 

My husband Mike and me in Japan this summer. What the photo doesn't show is how sick 

we were of smelling stinky pickled sea creatures and how we longed to get back and eat 

normal, American food (I know how annoyingly uncultured that makes me sound - but that's real). 

During the course of the past 4 years, God has freed me from a host of fears, stereotypes and small-thinking and I now have a pit bull, 2 tattoos (which feels weird even typing), a motorcycle license and a Vespa that I enjoy riding (when it’s not broken down). I never pictured that for me - I was straight-laced, never drank, and was honestly, pretty judgy of the above life-choices. I used to think that loving people, maybe even just loving a few people who are easy to love, was just a part of following Christ and now I know that it is all life should be about, next to loving Him. I feel like I can’t show my real, without sharing how my real is so different now than it was just a few years ago, because of Christ’s freeing work me.

This is me faking a smile/trying not to cry/crushing Mike's hand/scared to tears getting
 my tattoo done - don't let anyone lie to you - it hurts like CRAZY to get your foot tattooed.
 And if you wake up the next morning and cry about what other people are going to think - 
that's a good thing - it will make you change what you think of others.

In the past 3 years, my real has been totally different than I ever expected it to be.

• 3 yrs ago - I was shamefully and painfully fired from a secure job I didn’t particularly enjoy, but that I believed was supposed to be my career track.
• 2 yrs ago - I was being led out of the pain of the ego blow of being fired and had gained hope. I decided to go to grad school for my MBA because I found I was passionate about business and potentially having my own someday.
• 1 yr ago - Mike and I decided we were moving to Raleigh after I graduate school.
• Currently - I graduated last month and I am interning at an advisory services company, which I received through God’s awesome provision. Mike and I are planning on moving in about 2 months and seriously considering opening a cafe in Raleigh when we get there.

After I’ve let go of significant fear (fear about debt for grad school, fear about moving to a new place, fear about learning to ride a motorcycle, fear about what others think of me since I have a tattoo - and let’s be real - I still struggle with these), my eyes have been open to all the possibilities God has. Life can be so much bigger than I ever thought. My existence can actually change huge, significant things - like the life of a co-worker or the lives of thousands of impoverished people around the world).  Focusing on the small and petty led my life to be so small and petty - but focusing on God and the potential He has for my life has led me to see so much potential.

Our very sweet, paradoxically-tough-yet-constantly-seeking-a-comfortable-spot Pitty

I feel like now is a perfect time for a dose of reality. Seriously, it’s not like I’m free from fear and now my co-workers are all encouraged by me and I’m flying across the globe to free people from the modern-day slave trade -- though I hope both of those are true someday. I’ve always enjoyed reading about people’s “typical day”, because I like seeing how different and similar we are - and that no one wakes up and has tiny birds and mice help them get ready in the morning - even though they might look like it. Unlike the majority of people, I have not had a “typical day” most of the past few years (I’ve had 5 jobs in the past years - most were part-time). However, since obtaining a steady internship - my typical day looks like this:

• 6:30 - 7:00am - Wake up - dependent on whether I showered the night before

• 7:00 - 7:45am - Read Bible & get ready while Mike takes care of Macie (our pit bull)
• 7:45 - 7:55am - Mike drives me to work while I eat breakfast, we pray and talk, he drops me off and goes to work
• 7:55am - 12pm - Work like a cog in a machine and become excited if someone actually has a real-life conversation with me
• 12 - 1pm - Lunch, at my desk, while I write some personal emails, work on personal projects, read news, etc.
• 1 - 5pm - Work again and usually scramble to try not to take work home
• 5 - 5:30pm - Mike gets off work, picks me up at work and we go home
• 5:30 - 7pm - Change out of work clothes, Mike and/or I make dinner, take care of Macie
• 7pm - 9pm - Spend time with family or friends, run errands, work on the house, pick out clothes and prep lunch for work tomorrow
• 9pm - 10:30pm - Talk, watch TV or read with Mike, sleep

I respect your time (after all, time is more valuable than money, so you better be sure whatever you spend your time doing is worth it - if I learned nothing else in business school, it’s that) and so I’m going to wrap this up. A while ago, a pastor at our church said “We should eat change for breakfast” - because we should be constantly changing and improving. It’s a concept I whole-heartedly agree with (after all, we wanted a pit bull to change stereotypes about them, we wanted our fixer-upper house to improve it), but is also a concept that is completely hard and terrifying. A constantly changing life is one of adventure and spontaneity and never knowing what the next day holds, but it is also a life of risk and uncomfortableness and danger.  That’s why the change has to be what God has, the risk has to be worth something, I will find change and adventure emptying if I seek it for fulfillment in and of itself.

Me. Through the lens of friend and photographer Anthony Barlich.

In moving soon, without having jobs or a house in Raleigh, it’s so hard for me to trust God in this place - when I have to step off of solid ground and just wait for my feet to hit something. It feels exactly like a trust fall.  The best part is that it holds all the hope of something new. There is no hope without change - and so I want to eat change with a heaping mound of hope every morning. Seriously, as much as change can be hard to chew through, I’ll take it if I get hope. Like how I used to eat steak as a child if that meant I got dessert.

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Show Your Real is a series of guest posts centered around the concept of authenticity. The goal is to encourage each other to expose the reality of our lives- good and bad- and to foster a sense of community that goes beyond the often suface-cy interactions of social media. We invite all of you to participate! Please comment, link, and hashtag to spread the showyourreal love. If you would like to contribute a guest post in this series, please email me! 

Do the Sand Dance

Here's what you need to know before watching this video:

• Today is my best friend Meredith's 30th birthday.
• Her fiancé solicited video messages from her out of town friends who were unable to make it to her party.
• In high school she and I wanted to start a girl-band a la The Bangles.
• Meredith and I are both epically bad at whistling.
• I have very little shame.
• My daughter is hysterical.

Happy Birthday Mer P! from Courtney Bowden on Vimeo.

Video filmed by Dustin on my iPhone. 
Edited by me on my phone using the free version of Splice App. 
I'm officially obsessed (with the app, and Piper's version of the Walk Like An Egyptian dance)

The Christmas Tree: It Shines

I know you're probably expecting some Christmas baby adorableness, but I don't have that ready to share....(still living it!)

In the spirit of giving though, I will repost this gem, captured by Meg...It's my friend Katie and me doing our best rendition of SNL's Garth and Kat. Katie leads...I follow. Poorly.

Christmas Song from Our Something New on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas!!

P.s. (My sweater is courtesy of Katie and Craig's Christmas card this year. I desperately hope for her to start a blog so you can witness more of her awesomeness.)

Piper's "1st Birthday"

Almost two years ago, our friends the VanHoudnos introduced us to the idea of the "9 months + 3 months" First Birthday celebration. When their son turned three months old, they commemorated the first official year of his existence (even though he spent 9 months of that time cloaked in mystery...it still counts!) by going out with some friends to celebrate. We had a great time eating Asian food, and sampling bubble tea (I guess the "1 year" birthday is a Chinese concept) and toasting this new little life that was starting to take shape.

I (of course) loved the idea of marking an unexpected milestone, so we decided to embrace the tradition. We thought there would be no better way to commemorate a year of Baby Bowden than by breaking bread (or more accurately: eating pancakes) with some of the people that have been instrumental in Piper's life so far.


So after church this Sunday, a small group of us gathered at Pamela's Diner in Oakland for some syrupy sweet, good times.



The Bday girl was in good spirits, content to sit and pose for pics while the rest of us debated how many pancakes would be appropriate to eat in public.



She even got to play with her friends Mike and Lindsey...

...which went well until Mike called attention to his mustache...


Apparently she's not into facial hair (take a note, Dustin!) Look at her lip! But the crying was mercifully short lived- nothing a little cuddle from Daddy couldn't cure.



There were a couple other little ones in attendance too...and they seemed to approve of the party as well (they got to eat, and carry on like hooligans...what's not to like about that?)



And when they weren't eating, they too took the opportunity to ham it up for the camera:



Before long the little guest of honor was plum tuckered out and spent the rest of the afternoon sacked out in her carseat (it's her party and she'll sleep if she wants to).


But that little lull in the action gave us a chance to give a little toast to tell everyone how thankful we were to have them join us not just for breakfast...but for life.

As parents, we are limited in what we can pass on to Piper. She's been dealt her genetic lot, and beyond that, we have a finite set of skills and knowledge base to share with her. We pray for God to grow us in His wisdom, and for His grace to cover our areas of weakness. Thankfully He's provided us with a group of friends and family to bridge the inevitable gaps in our abilities, and faults in our character, and help us to guide Piper along the path of His divine plan.

If it takes a village to raise a child, then you all have been our cul-de-sac. We are so grateful we are for who God has made you and how you are already helping us shape our daughter into who He would have her become.

Perhaps the greatest skill God has provided me with is the ability to seek out friends better than myself to help us as we muddle our way through the journey of parenthood.


You are each a profound example of the body of Christ, and the church in action. Thank you for all the support, love, guidance and fun through Piper's "first year." She is- and we are- truly blessed.



And for those of you who weren't able to join us for lunch, please know that we are beyond grateful for the extended community of friends and family that have been with us on this journey so far. Thank you for loving our little girl (almost) as much as we do.

A Night Under the Stars

If you know me, you know a couple things about me for sure:

I love my birthday.
I love a party.

So you can pretty much guarantee that when January rolls, you're in for some crazy nonsense, in the form of an over the top birthday party. The kind that you should really only throw for someone else...and that "someone else" should probably be ten or under. But I have no shame throwing my a party in my honor, and I refuse to believe that growing up is a reason to tone it down....

...So we party.

Over the years I've had some pretty good shin-digs, if I do say so myself. A few years ago we threw an epic 80's party, 2010 was a classy wine and cheese affair, and last year we combined my two great loves (mac&cheese, and games) for a big blow out.

But this year might go down as my favorite yet. You see, I pretty much spend the 364 days leading up to my birthday planning my party. The minute one is over, I'm brainstorming the theme for the next one (now that I tell you that, there's some pressure to deliver...but I'm ok with that) and I've had this year's theme in mind for quite a while. Brace yourselves- for my 28th Birthday... it was time to bring back the prom!

Yep. I had been begging Dustin for years to throw a prom party, but because my birthday is in January, Mr. Practicality didn't necessarily think the weather would be conducive to high heels and strapless dresses (at least he's considerate of the ladies!). He tried to convince me to wait, and host it in the spring, but I refused to postpone my birthday several months, just because I had the misfortune of being born in the winter. So finally this year he gave in to my vision, and it ended up being perfect timing. I mean, is there really a better time to recreate the slow dancing, photo taking, hair spraying prom magic, than the 10th anniversary of my senior year in high school? I think not.


The main concern now was where to host such a gathering. Our house is cozy after all, but isn't exactly made for events that usually require a ballroom. We kicked around the idea of renting out a room, or a bar...But we realized after about ten seconds of research, it was going to get really involved, and really expensive. So we settled on having it at the old homestead, and just making it as festive as possible (even if that meant putting all our furniture in storage). We tried to keep the expense and workload to a minimum- picking up decorations at PaperMart, making things out of stuff I already had on hand, getting a thrift store dress (and borrowing a tie and cummerbund set) and keeping the menu simple. (that doesn't mean we didn't do it up in style though...as one of my friends said when she arrived- "I could see the sparkle from the street!")







And let me just say- It was perfect. I literally had "The Time of My Life" (which could have been the theme, if I hadn't gone for the ever-popular, and easy to execute "A Night Under The Stars" motif). Thankfully (huuuuuge understatement) my parents had come to "Chaperone"- aka watch Piper, so Dustin and I were able to let loose, and dance the night away.


But we weren't the only ones in the mood to party like (high school) rock stars. People came dressed to impress.

There was primping...



and pimpin'...
I have to say that the girls might have looked the best....

But the guys gave us a run for our money. (these were part of an homage to "Penn Hills Prom". The perfect amount of class, and 'hood.)


But I think you know who stole the show:


I mean, does it get better than a tux/tutu combo? Nope. It does not.

Love was in the air...



And the drinks were flowing...(it helped that no one had to secretly spike the punch, or try to hide a water bottle of vodka in their purse)

This man will help get you Kraken (besides the old punch standby, that was the unofficial drink of the night)

And even the tiniest of guests hit the bottle...(with a little help from Papa)

But of course, the main attraction of the night (of my life!) was the dancing. Before the party, my step-dad asked which room would be the dance floor...my answer was "all of them!" He was surprised, and asked if I really expected everyone to dance? I hadn't really thought of an alternative, (after all- doesn't everyone love all the same things I do?!) so I was hopeful that people would have grown out of their adolescent inhibitions. We did have some chairs set up for the more reserved guests...

But once the spotify mix got going...


...the dancing couldn't be stopped. There was a "Sexy and I Know It" soultrain line (Dustin did his signature knee dance):

And plenty of six-grade style awkwardness:


And of course...just general nonsense:



Towards the end of the night, we busted out the Kinect, and challenged each other to virtual dance offs. Meg and I pretty much showed them how it's done:



But as much fun as the dancing was (and it was FUN), no prom is complete without a crowing of a King and Queen. The competition was fierce, but the voting strategy was left to the discretion of the partiers...Choices might have been based on prettiest dress, most handsome, most school spirit...It was wide open.
But when the votes were tallied, there were two clear winners...

Meg and Jeff!

They accepted their crowns, and shared a hilariously awkward Royal Dance (while their spouses looked on...feeling what I can only imagine is a mix of pride and jealousy)

So as you can see...we pretty much had a blast. It was everything I love about prom, without all the stuff I'd rather forget...I didn't have to cram myself in a limo with 14 of my not-really-closest friends. My mom didn't have to put my date's boutonniere on because I'm too awkward and shy. No one ended up in the bathroom crying because their date danced with another girl...

I had my favorite people together to partake in my favorite things, which makes for a magical night.

(And for those of you who reaaaaaally know me...you know there is one very important party element that seems to be missing...Don't worry- I didn't let you down. Stay tuned for Prom Post Part 2...the awesomeness continues)